Old Soviet jokes become the new American reality

The People's Cube ^ | 11/11/2012

[Mount Athos]

At first the move to America from the former USSR made me feel as though I had made a jump in time, from the stagnant depraved past into a distant dynamic future.

There was an abundance of commonly available futuristic contraptions, machines, and appliances that made everyday existence easier and more enjoyable. Less obvious but just as exciting was the media's openness: I no longer needed to read between the lines to know what was happening.

[Mount Athos]

[martin_fierro]

First we beat the Soviets.

Then we became them.

[smoothsailing]

[Beave Meister]

1984 was suppose to be fiction....

[Revolting cat!]

In Roman Polanski’s little seen brilliant vampire comedy originally titled “Dance of the Vampires” (with Sharon Tate, by the way), a Professor Abronsius played by Jack McGowran comes to Transylvania with his faithful assistant Alfred, played by Polanski, to rid the planet of vampires. Instead, (and it’s a cynical comment on modern science, if I have to explain it) he ends up spreading the disease of vampirism throughout the world. I think of it every time I meet friends who like yourself had arrived from the Transylvania of Western Civilisation, the Soviet Bloc.

(Oh, before I forget: IBPH - In Before Polanski Haters!)

[Revolting cat!]

P.S. And some of these friends of mine say to who’ll listen, “Oh sh_t, I brought this Communist disease with me!”

[ransomnote]

Thank you for posting this. Priceless.

[GunRunner]

(Yakov Smirnoff voice) In Soviet America, government owns YOU!

[MadMax, the Grinning Reaper]

Welcome to the asylum.

Re your name “People’s Cube”. See the movie “The Cube”. It is a lot like a Soviet gulag in that if you aren’t killed in it, and manage to escape, there is no place to run to.

I like your rewriting of your Soviet era joke re today’s America. Keep sending it out to FR and other people. I will, to our Vietnam researchers group, pro-Israel journalists, and even some liberals (the tolerance of liberals is highly overrated).

Here’s an old Soviet joke which can be updated to Obamacare re the coming shortage of specialist doctors:

One day Igor was walking down the streets of Moscow when he spotted Ivan coming towards him with two rolls of toilet paper under his arms.

Igor said: “Ivan, where did you get the toilet paper? I haven’t seen any in months.”

Ivan, to Igor: “I just got back from the dry-cleaners”.

Rimshot, please! Batta-bing, batta-boom!

Another Russian joke from a friend of mine who spent time during WW2 in a Russian Jewish penal battalion (wounded three times in combat); had his father killed by Stalin; was jailed in Lubianka prison, and did ten years in the slave labor camps along the TransSiberian Railroad/Potma complex all the way to Lake Baikal.

When Avram was in a labor camp, he was with people from all over the Soviet Union, of every ethnic group and religion. It was then that it hit him - “The labor camps were the most free place in the USSR because EVERYONE WAS HERE”.

I hear that Australia and New Zealand are nice in the Spring.

[Revolting cat!]

(Yakov Smirnoff voice) In Soviet America, government owns YOU!

So what is the difference between that and the DNC video: “Government is the only thing that we all belong to”.

Chilling, isn't it?

[Nowhere Man]

I was thinking of this the other day about Yakov Smirnoff and his jokes. I did ask the question way back in 1983 when I was 17, "what if the USSR became the USA and the USA became the USSR? What if we became the Evil Empire?" I asked that just for "craps and giggles," but I remember I got silence then. Well, it was the Reagan Era, Star Wars was big, the good guys win and so on. It does scare me that I sometimes wonder if I somehow saw the future. I remember at that time my German teacher showed us the pics he took when he took the class over to Europe back in 1979. They went to East Germany and saw what it was like over there. He always impressed on us that if we are not careful, we will lose our freedoms here. Not only the Soviets would push for that but we have elements in this nation that are far worse than the Soviets who want to tear us down. He said, "we could lose it all." I believed him and still do. When he talked about this, chills went through me like a knife, I feared for our future then. I remain in contact with a few of my old teachers but unfortunately, my German teacher passed away in 1993. I wish he was still here, I'd love to hear his thoughts on what we are going through now.

I remember in debates online and elsewhere from the mid 1980's onward (first Fidonet and then the internet), I did warn people about if we were not careful, we could lose it. I now know what it felt like to be Randy Quaid in "Independence Day," where he kept saying, "I tried to warn everybody over and over again."

[Revolting cat!]

Nikita K. threatened to bury us. I believe that their 19th century ideology slightly updated has done it now without firing a single bullet.

[Marcella]

1984 was suppose to be fiction....

I think of that book and movie all the time and watch the movie every time it comes on.

We are so in that book/movie. I also think of traits the antichrist has, according to the Bible. In Daniel it says the evil one thinks to change times and law and he wears down the saints. Hussein changes/makes law by executive order and he is definitely wearing us down.

I don't know what is to come, but I am preparing for it.

[Nowhere Man]

Nikita K. threatened to bury us. I believe that their 19th century ideology slightly updated has done it now without firing a single bullet.

Like one other Freeper said in another thread, I almost expected us to go (if we lose our country) in a full nuclear exchange but instead we have a third world, muzzie usurper voted in by the moochers and dead-beats.

[Revolting cat!]

Sorry, posted prematurely.

The post-communists of Eastern Europe, who for some reason, unlike the National Socialists in Germany, are allowed to operate there under new labels as Social Democrats or something similarly innocent, are actually somewhat to the right of Obama and his gang of radical utopians in the White House, who, were the Soviet Empire still in existence today, would fit right in in a post-Gorbachev reality. Socialism with a human face, as they called it before it collapsed over there. It’s that bad, I think.

[Calpublican]

We are burying ourselves.

[Nowhere Man]

It's pretty bad when you have some of the European social democrats being to the right of Obama. I keep thinking somewhere, back in 1983 or so, someone spiked my Pepsi with LSD and I will come out of this "Bummer trip" at time point and back to the reality of 30 years ago but as time goes on, I'm doubting that. B-) As I like to put it another way, we are in some weird parallel universe.

There has to be some sort of demonic, diabolical power at work here, I mean the O-Hole came out of virtually nowhere in 2004 and became president in 2008 and kept his job in 2012. I love Alan Keyes to bits, but there is a side of me that like to say to him where by him jumping in the Illinois Senate Race in 2004, he got the O-Hole elected. He should have stayed out and let the process server do it's stuff. Maybe even then, the O-Hole would still have been elected, I don't know. Come to think of it, maybe if Jack Ryan kept it in his pants, we might not have Obama today.

I'm just frustrated and angry. They say the center of an H-Bomb is at like 100 million degrees, almost 3 times hotter than the center of the sun. My anger at seeing this is hotter than that. No matter what we do, we do the right thing but it still went wrong.

[Nowhere Man]

You’re right. The Soviets were not our worst enemy, the libtards were along with the moochers and dead-beats.

[Olog-hai]

Where do you think their support came from, for many years . . . ? There was a reason why the USSR was on the UN security council after all, and that was at the behest of our fifth column, which publicly manifested as the ACLU and original CPUSA and had too many allies in DC. Then there was the Red Chinese connection since 1971.