Posted on 12/28/2012 2:00:21 PM PST by SMGFan
A 21-year-old theatre student has obtained a civil stalking restraining order against her parents after convincing a judge that they attempt to control all aspects of her daily life.
Aubrey Ireland is a gifted theatre major at the College-Conservatory of Music at the University of Cincinnati, often winning major roles in her school's musicals. Her latest win wasn't at her prestigious music conservatory, but in court after she filed a civil stalking order against her parents. Earlier this month, Common Pleas Court Judge Jody Luebbers ruled in her favor, ordering that her parents must stay at least 500 feet from their only child until September 2013.
"They basically thought that they were paying for my college tuition and living expenses that they could tell me what to do who to hang out with ... basically control all of my daily life," Ireland told ABC News.
The dean's list student's complaints against her parents began when she realized they'd installed monitoring software on her computer and her phone. They paid unannounced visits, traveling 600 miles from their home in Kansas, to meet with Aubrey's department head.
(Excerpt) Read more at abcnews.go.com ...
Repost from the other thread...
Parents, and a bunch of posters on this thread are missing a couple important points.
A parent does not ‘own’ an adult child, regardless of any work contract/agreements or whatnot. By all accounts she was/is a top student and headed in a good direction in her chosen career. Parents can make whatever demands they want outside that. All day long. But they have ZERO ‘Right’ to dictate squat to an adult.
Now second, If a parent ‘feels’ they have the ‘right’ to treat a 21 yo like a 5 yo at her first slumber party, I believe that adult child id better off without having insane parents in their life. Perhaps forever if needed.
Because next it will be a nonstop pry into choosing a husband, dictating terms of their marriage, dictating terms of raising children, dictating what school THOSE CHILDREN go to.....
It will never end.
And all the people here siding with the parents should get to know an adult child who suffered through that absolute hell before opining the kid is the problem.
Perhaps in some cases they are. Perhaps this one is too. But I maintain that no ‘parent’ owns the life or any aspect thereof, of an adult child, period.
And in cases where a split happens because a parent refuses to accept their boundaries as a parent and as another human being,, it is the fault of Mommie and Daddy Dearest regardless of how much they spend on college.
well, it looks like she did indeed get someone else (the college)to pay her way (of course the college also has rules that recipients of aid must meet *shocker*)
And I guess eventually she’ll latch onto some poor man to continue the process, and when he ... tries to limit he behavior in any way... then she’ll dump him take half and have a court order him to take care of her for the rest of her life doing as she pleases.
ah... what a wonderfull responsibility free world we live in!
/s
You must have missed the point that the parents were trying to get mental help for their adult child.
“The fact that the mother is going to sue to get ‘their’ money back for the previous years education says something very specific abut the parents”
Creepy. Your 21 year old kid decides you are getting nutty and cuts off contact. Ok, then it’s fair that the parents stop sending money.
(even if it’s weird that spyware, tracking devices on phones, micromanaging a normal kid’s social life at school, are all conditions for helping your kid thru school,,, but whatever)
Anyway, parents cutting off all sponsorship, i get. But by what principle do they demand the school refund the previous years tuition? They received what they paid for. There seems to be no fraud on the part of the school.
Strange that such a mental case hid it from everyone but the parents, got dood grades and had a pretty functional life. So who ‘claimed’ that she was Sec 8? That’s right, the domineering whack jobs trying to control her.
Reminds me of Russia’s solution for political dissidents. But go ahead and defend them based on a total lack of her mental dysfunction. As far as the reporting goes.
Just as an aside,,,it’s really -fun- to meet chicks who had parents like this, like about 10 years later. I’m just sayin’
She had a couple full ride offers to other schools the parents turned down to pay for her to attend this one.
Seems like a bad business model unless they had other plans in mind. Like financial coercion.
I was out of the house at 18 also. But being one of Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children (USMC) didn’t mean I could do what I wanted.
NO!!! You don’t understand! Half this and the other the thread thinks they had the right to do all that. There are no barriers on the parent if they paid for college. It was your obligation to bow and scrape.
And you blew it man. You blew it... /s
I have to wonder if there are more than a handful of actual people with sense left on this country. I expect it from libs, but I am starting to think they are right about most conservatives being crazy.
I hope you recovered from your experience and I’m sorry your wife could not find the strength to stand up to her parents.
Ummmmm. YOU seem to be missing a point.
For what reason couldn't this 21 yo have taken the computer and cell phone and driven (in a car the parents bought her?) the 600 miles to their house and said, "I don't need your spying stuff. (I don't need your car.) I don't need you to pay my college bills. I don't need your spending money. I'll get a job and do it myself," in her first semester instead of suing in the last year she was going to be there?
She didn't have to accept ANY of that stuff from them if it was such an onerous life that they required of her.
It's been done before by many teenagers since the stone age and it'll be done by many more far, far into the future.
Or did they FORCE her to accept all of these things?
Mr. Megan is former USMC. Semper fi!
No, I’m not. In the slightest.
If you genuinely think it’s OK for a parent to load their adult child’s phone with spyware, and the rest,I really don’t know what to tell you other than there are places that can help you with your control issues.
But you have to WANT to change.
If she was like my wife, she didn’t know any better. It’s like being in a cult. They get brainwashed and think their weirdness is the normal.
She'd just spent 18 years living with them. She knew all their quirks and boundaries. Nobody better.
What stopped her from giving all of their stuff back to them, telling them she didn't need their spyware computer, spyware cell phone on their plan, "living expenses" or their college tuition and gotten herself a job to pay it all herself, and in her FRESHMAN year instead of her SENIOR year?
As I said, teenagers have been doing it for millenia and WILL be doing it for millenia. There was nothing stopping her.
That's what work, work studies and student loans are for.
Kids pay their own way every single day in every single state.
Or are we to believe that it was ok for 3 years and suddenly became onerous in the last semester before she graduated?
“often winning major roles in her school’s musicals”
Well, good for her. Sounds like she’s all set. The parents should spend their money and time elsewhere. She’ll come around when life sinks in. No need to push her away.
My seventeen year old daughter is in a special program where she gets both high school and college credits by attending our local community college. She’s a high school junior. I wouldn’t DREAM of contacting her professors. These people are contacting the instructors of a senior in college? They’re nuts.
“The child at 18 has absolute medical privacy but the parents must leave them and pay for their health insurance policy too.”
I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Parents have the option to keep their adult children on their policies now, but who is forcing them to do that and pay for it?
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