NFL LIVE THREAD Week 9

ESPN ^

[Bender2]

Thu Oct 31
Cincinnati Bengals @ Miami Dolphins
Sun Nov 3
Atlanta Falcons @ Carolina Panthers
Kansas City Chiefs @ Buffalo Bills
Minnesota Vikings @ Dallas Cowboys
New Orleans Saints @ New York Jets
San Diego Chargers @ Washington Redskins
Tennessee Titans @ St. Louis Rams
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Seattle Seahawks
Philadelphia Eagles @ Oakland Raiders
Baltimore Ravens @ Cleveland Browns
Pittsburgh Steelers @ New England Patriots
Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans
Mon Nov 4
Chicago Bears @ Green Bay Packers

Bye: Arizona, Denver, Detroit, Jacksonville, N.Y. Giants, San Francisco

[Bender2]

Uhhhhh-- Before we get into Week 9's picks... some real old news and some real new news--

Y'all rememeber last October when I went over to Merry Ole England... and watched big's Pattycakes crush the Rams 45-7 at Wembley Stadium?

I went pub sluming after the game and met this lovely young brunette... named Kate--

Well, yadda yadda yadda... nature took its course.

And I swear I had no idea at all until they release the Royal Family portrait... a day or so ago.

Yet I have to say, the Royal heir could not... look more handsome!

Okay, now to the picks for Week Nine of this NFL Season:

Thursday Night Feetball finds the TCU North Bengals having a fish fry

Sundays games finds my Old Dallas Texans and my new hero, Big Chief Andy... having a very happy Buffalo hunt

Allegra's Old Earlers will be stapled, folded and Bradfordsized in Saint Louee

There will be nothing Saintly about them Jersey Jets doing touch'n no goes in N'awleens

Them Diego Bolts skin them fellers from DC

Vick's Old Black Byrds get mauled by Camshaft's Panthers

Okay, Seven, I'm picking your Waiders to crush the Iggles, so don't let me down!

Gadzooks, I want the Seahags to lose but they won't at Have a Tampa Bay

The New Brownstains will sneak up and steal one away from the Old Brownstains

As much as I hate to pick them, big's Pattycakes will crap all over the Stoolers

Please, Allegra, don't hurt me but I have to pick them Lucky Colts over your Texicans

Monday Night Feetball has Da Toothless Bears finding they cannot cut the cheese at Lamboo

Okay, if my boys don't win Sunday... I'll eat a Viqueen hat, horns and all!

And all those teams you knew were gay or bye are Arizona, Denver, Detroit, Jacksonville, N.Y. Giants, San Francisco

[Bender2]

Okay, get your picks in... before I throw 'em in the creek!

Thanks, Ma! And now for those of you... who cannot read:

[Bender2]

Some old business about Last week's Hootdat post: I don't expect my beloved Redskins to win on the road v. Denver. But anytime Dallas loses, my heart grows warmer.

Ya know, Hootdat, I can understand... that sentiment.

Because at any time the Deadskins lose... my thoracic cavity pump warms up, too--

While I think it is utterly silly to hound you D.C. guys... about your team nickname being politically incorrect-- I am the among the first to offer up alternatives... 'cause it is the nature of my programming--

My Lone Star upbringing preaches it ain't bragging if you do it and even extends to cheering on teams that left Texas... and looking most fondly upon a coach I hated with white hot intensity for 13 years.

So, when I run across this... "According to ESPN Stats & Information, Griffin failed on all seven pass attempts of 15 yards or more. He was pressured or sacked on 42 percent of his dropbacks, the highest percentage of his career. Makes life tough under those circumstances, but Griffin needs to help himself, too, and defeat the rap that he struggles when he can't hit his primary target. "

My first inclination is to get my hankles up... as he is talking about a first rate player from Baylor, a Good Texas Baptist School just 50 miles down the pike from me and currently undefeated, ranked #6--

Then I come back to reality, RG3 now plays... for them galldurn, godless Deadskins!

Besides, he was born in Okinawa, Japan, so he's not [giggle, giggle] even... a Native Texan at all.

We all find our fellow countryman... LalGTree kinda cute.

Gadzooks, you can bring them gals to sweet creek water and Lone Star Beer, but you cannot make them think... like a Texan, can ya?

BTW at http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/nfl/news/20131030/nfl-power-rankings-week-8-kansas-city-chiefs/?xid=nl_siextra I found this:

And I think it is pretty... darn funny!

But don't tell Jerry... I said that--

In closing, Hoodat, I do have some t-shirts for sale... that might interest you.

Really, Bender! Don't be a wussy-- Get some t-shirts to sell that have some class... and style--

[CARTOUCHE]

Chiefs by 13

[RedMDer]

I think the Ravens-Browns match is more even than what the talking heads show.

[Seattle Conservative]

GO SEAHAWKS!!!

Seahawks 27 - Tampa Bay 10

I’ll be at the game cheering them on :-)

[ken5050]

I’m trying to decide which is the more amazing, my Red Sawx going from worst to first, or the Chief’s 8-0 ( and increasing) record this year.

[Yorlik803]

Steelers go down in flames....massive loss. Tomlin flees city dressed as a Woman

[Hoodat]

I still have that 1995 season fresh on my mind. Sure, the Cowgirls won the Super Bowl that year. But they lost to the Redskins twice. Times were good back then.

[PreciousLiberty]

Chargers 41, Redskins 17

[big'ol_freeper]

What a night after my Red Sox spanked them Redbirds. But here goes...

The Bungles over the Tunas
The Punters over the Dirty Birds
The Cowgirls over the Vicequeens
The Halos over the Cessnas
The Oilers over the Lambs
The Strams over the Beefaloes
The _________ over the Bolts
The Eyepatches over the Beagles
The Seapigeons over the Pirates
The Brownstains over the Purple Birds
The Patriots over the Stools
The Folds over the Texians
und
The Packers over the Cubs

Now I'm going to pass out...again

[atc23]

Since I live in Los Angeles, I happily bandwagon whomever I want to. Hail Andy Reid and those dirty, nasty Injun nicknamed big fellows from Kansas City - GO CHIEFS!!!

Now bring the burgundy and gold team from Obamaville to Southern California already - we love Native Americans here - unlike some people . . .

[Bender2]

Re: I still have that 1995 season fresh on my mind. Sure, the Cowgirls won the Super Bowl that year. But they lost to the Redskins twice. Times were good back then.

Gadzooks, Hoot! Of course I'd... settle for that--

Bender! Grow a pair! Beat the Foreskins twice... and win the Super Bowl this year!

Hate to say it, but Duckman... has a point.

Greed is good, Bendy... but get real! Your Boy's defense couldn't hold in a herd of lambs--

I don't like the way... this post is going.

Then get a ax... and start chopping off the deadwood!

[Bender2]

Re: Steelers go down in flames....massive loss. Tomlin flees city dressed as a Woman

Don't knock it, it works... got me out of a bad love affair and one marriage!

[darkangel82]

Bengals

Chiefs

Cowboys

Titans

Saints

Chargers

Falcons

Raiders

Seahawks

Browns

Patriots

Colts

Packers

[A'elian' nation]

PC correction:

I’m sure you meant to report San Diego Chargers vs. Washington REDS.

[rwa265]

Allegra’s Old Earlers will be stapled, folded and Bradfordsized in Saint Louee

---

The Earlers might be stapled and folded, but they won’t be Bradfordsized. Sam will undergo ACL surgery Tuesday and is out for the season.

[Bender2]

Re; The Earlers might be stapled and folded, but they won’t be Bradfordsized. Sam will undergo ACL surgery Tuesday and is out for the season.

Would you believe... that means all Allegra's Old Earlers would undergo ACL surgery???

Bender! Even I find that... hard to swallow!

[BeadCounter]

I don’t see why you say Bye Detroit, San Francisco, both teams are still in the running but I’ll submit my picks just for fun this time. Don’t think there is an ongoing contest.

Thu Oct 31
Cincinnati Bengals

Sun Nov 3
Carolina Panthers
Buffalo Bills (I’ll go for the upset)
Dallas Cowboys (Ponder I hope plays, born in Big D, Jared Allen as well, I believe)
New Orleans Saints
San Diego Chargers
St. Louis Rams
Seattle Seahawks (laugher, really needs a spread,nothing against the Bucs.)
Oakland Raiders
Cleveland Browns
New England Patriots
Indianapolis Colts
Mon Nov 4
Green Bay Packers

[Bender2]

Re: I don’t see why you say Bye Detroit, San Francisco..

Gadzooks, Bead! If you have to explain deviant sexual behavior and beastality... it takes all the fun out of it!