How to Win Thanksgiving: A Holiday Guide to Arguing With Right-Wing Relatives

Salon ^ | Thursday, November 28, 2013 | Alex Pareene

[Cyber Liberty]

I’ve noticed since Obastard was elected these “progressive” relatives have been gradually self-selecting, and not coming to Thanksgiving Dinners. They don’t cotton to all that “God and Gratitude stuff” being bandied about the place. They’re also being invited less.

It’s better for everybody, really, when we don’t have to lock the crazy relatives in the basement all the time.

[MestaMachine]

“be told to leave and escorted to the door.”

I never said it had to be gently. And I really didn’t have gently in mind when I said it. I would make them bend over and pick up their own teeth then hasten their way out with the help of a well-placed foot.

[Cyber Liberty]

No. I refuse.

[Oldexpat]

The liberals are obsessed with Thanksgiving political discussion this year because they are loosing the argument on Obamacare and a lot of other things.
They need to be told to STFU and eat the turkey that conservatives bought for them.

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

***be told to leave and escorted to the door.***

Their hat, coat, gloves will be shipped to them later, COD.

[dead]

Not a single liberal idiot in my extended family tree (but I keep a close eye on the youngsters as they head off to college and come back wearing those hippy Mexican shawl thingies... with a Reagan button on it! Whew!)

[OldNavyVet]

Folks, another stock market crash is coming.

And that crash might be triggered by government Obamanites under orders from ... guess who.

[Washi]

To progressive retards:

I hope you like kibble. Because, if you start trying to push Obamacare, or any other leftist, authoritarian policy at my Thanksgiving day table, you will either find yourself eating out of the stainless steel dog bowl on the back patio, or shot with my 12 gage.

Your choice.

[dead]

Basically, wait for the new year before saying HealthCare.gov killed Obamacare.

Oh, it's just a "federal contracting" issue?! Yeah, that's the ticket.

Focusing on Obamacare's website problems is like criticizing Charlie Manson for wearing an ugly shirt.

[Cyber Liberty]

(Face it...the shirt *was* ugly)

[The Mayor]

I don’t have the stomach but in order to fight them, we have to know their battle plans.

[dalereed]

To hell with them, I give it to them with both barrels and don’t give a damn what they think of it or me!!

Nice talk is for pussies!

[Madame Dufarge]

Why it will probably be worse than during the Super Bowl when men routinely beat women senseless!

[headstamp 2]

Typical liberal. Everything is political.

[Ouderkirk]

True to any communist. They simply cannot stop trying to convince themselves they they are always right by blowing up any family gathering. Then it is someone else’s fault when they get nuked for being stupid.

[DoughtyOne]

D E S P E R A T I O N

You know they know they're in trouble when...

[Peter W. Kessler]

Very small family gathering today (five of us - all of the same political bent).

We’re visiting the progressives Saturday.

I’m going to leave the car running; don’t expect to be there very long.

[Covenantor]

I am the one who is going to bring up Obamacare today and I?m going to harp on it and proclaim it as DISASTER. They can kick me out if they want. Geez folks lets go on offensive. This is a perfect opportunity to wake our liberal family members up!

I'm with you on that. Wasn't made aware of the OFA Thanksgiving Talking Points until this morning so hadn't planned a counterstrike. Fortunately no liberals will be present.

But here's a quick and dirty shot that might not be too late for some.

Print up some placemats with a roast turkey feast, something like the one below. Install these as the table settings for your liberal family members or guests. Provide the usual china, flatware, linens. Fill the water glasses only. Do not pass them actual food. Wait for them to plead for the food. Then tell them you didn't actual promise them a real dinner just as Obama never promised real health care. If overcome by feelings of mercy, hand them a snack size bag of M&M's. Tell them the M&M's were inspired by the beneficence of the First Family do so at at Washington DC Free Food center. True story. If upon further complaints, mercy compells you to act, resist as long as you can, then give them a dry biscuit, no butter or gravy. Further pleadings should cause them to be smacked on the way out the door.

Next year I'll be ready for them, as there's little chance of either the Acme Care Actuality working so they're sure to recycle the TP's. Whoa! Talking Points and toilet paper, same abbreviation! What're the odds of that. Well at least one of 'em is useful or getting rid of s***.

[GraceG]

I’m telling them this: “May the chains you voted for rest lightly upon you.”

And nothing else.

[PLD]

EXACTLY!!!!this family I am talking about look down on everyone and no one is as smart as they are..I just look over their ignorance most of the time and let them know I am not in the least intimidate by them.. When people like us here on Free Republic that check our facts.. so we can quote the truth to them and they still will stand their and lie like dogs..