Men Without Women: Is There A Male Friendship Crisis?

The Federalist ^ | December 30, 2013 | Bill McMorris

[Farnsworth]

Male friendship is formed around jokes, favors, and associations -- all things under attack.

I got a telephone in my room right when “Boy Meets World” was getting big. I saw the characters chatting on the phone daily and mistook a studio cost-cutting device for how friends interacted. So I grabbed the school directory and called up my best friend at the moment, Sean.

“Hi?”

“Hey, it’s Billy”

“Okay…”

The call was over in seconds. We played full contact 500 on an asphalt driveway the next day with nary a mention of the awkward conversation. Like I said, my best friend. I never realized that the exchange made me more likely to commit suicide. At least that’s what Occidental College sociology professor Lisa Wade says in Salon’s latest men-are-doing-it-wrong column.

Wade says American men—specifically white heterosexuals—lack the intimate bonds necessary to lead fulfilling lives.

“The friendships they have, if they’re with other men, provide less emotional support and involve lower levels of self-disclosure and trust than other types of friendships,” Wade writes.

It’s an observation rooted in experience. Go to enough barbecues and you’ll notice that people tend to self-segregate: Women form circles around living room tables and discuss their feelings; men crowd around the grill, eyes locked on the meat, to discuss grilling techniques.

It wasn’t always this way, Wade argues.

Research shows that boys are just as likely as girls to disclose personal feelings to their same-sex friends and they are just as talented at being able to sense their friends’ emotional states.

But, at about age 15 to 16 — right at the same age that the suicide rate of boys increases to four times the rate of girls — boys start reporting that they don’t have friends and don’t need them.

[Jonty30]

How many of these are exclusively male bastions, where no females are allowed?

Having a female in the midst to the male mind is inhibiting, because there is a tendency to act more civilized when a female is around. That’s not being anti-female, but it is impossible to be an unapologetic male, in most cases, when there is one around.

I know I might piss off a few females when I say that, but it’s true. Just as there are subjects and activities that females can only do in the presence of other females, it’s the same as males, or used to be. :)

[ETL]

Sounds like life aboard SNL's Raging Queen...

Captain Ned: Is this how men act on a man's ship? Where is your manliness? Fighting on deck is a serious breach on my articles of strict discipline! I'm afraid the guilty party is in for a very severe punishment!

Sailor #1: Captain.. I did indeed take Mr. Spunk's spot. I'm ready to accept my punishment..

First Mate Spunk: Captain! I threw the first blow. If anyone is to be punished, let it be me. I ask only that whatever you do, please don't put me in a tight-fitting Lassie costume and make me eat from a monogrammed dog dish.

Sailor #2: [ entering ] Captain, I encouraged this fight - punish me! Make me wear nipple-pinching clothespins, sir!

Sailor #3: [ entering ] Me, Captain! Punish me!

Captain Ned: Stop! I've heard enough! Your manly admission of guilt is most manful. However, as your Captain, it is I who must bear the full masculine responsibility! And therefore, I will be punished. Spunk! Take me alone! I want a boiling oil rub..

[ Spunk drags Captain below decks for his punishment ]

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/78/78rcowperthwaite.phtml

[ETL]

First Mate Spunk: [ peering through telescope ] Land ahoy! Land ahoy! Oh, my God, I don't know.. oh, it might be land, maybe it's another boat.. Oh, daft, it might me a cloud! No, I can't tell, this damn thing is torturing me. Oh, maybe it's a cloud, I'm not sure, oh dear!

Captain Ned: [ walking up ] Mr. Spunk! Have you spied land?

First Mate Spunk: I'm not sure! Somebody else get up here and look! If I say it's land, and we make for it and it's not, I'll get yelled for it!

Captain Ned: Alright! [ peers through telescope ]

Miles Cowperthwaite V/O: "What Mr. Spunk had sighted was not land at all, but a small, open boat. Which, upon closer inspection, was found to contain two remarkable passengers."

[ two women climb onboard The Raging Queen ]

Captain Ned: [ greeting them ] I am Captain Ned, of The Raging Queen! Tell me.. are there any males with you?

Madeline Warrington: No. Just my sister and I.

Ruth Warrington: Yes. My name is Ruth Warrington. This is my sister Madeline. We were crossing the West Indies, when pirates seized our ship. They took our entire crew prisoners.

Captain Ned: [ thinking ] Hmm.. Uh.. can you tell me, were these pirates manly and verile?

Madeline Warrington: They were contemptible animals, who subjected our ship's crew to the most unspeakable torture!

First Mate Spunk: Do you suppose these pirates might still be anywhere in the area.

Ruth Warrington: Yes. I'm afraid they may yet be very close..

Captain Ned: I see. [ runs to address his crew ] Men! There are pirates in these waters! Pirates who inflict hideous punishment to those who fall into their hands! [ crew oohs ] Now, we can turn tail and run. Or, we can take the many course, that which our manhood demands! Find these despots of discipline, and comfort them! What is your answer!!

Crew: Find the pirates!!

Captain Ned: So it will be done! Stand by to incur the waters!

[ crew wave out to see, in search of the pirates ]

[Organic Panic]

Being a traditional man is a hate crime today. Telling a dirty joje will get you fired and prosecuted. Men are reacting to the society the feminists and pajama boys created.

[Varsity Flight]

Al Bundy NO MAMM ping

[Mr. K]

"At least that’s what Occidental College sociology professor Lisa Wade says in Salon’s latest men-are-doing-it-wrong column. "

I think you missed a line

[Talisker]

The author is a typical liberal feminist psychopath defending feminism: it’s completely screwed up boys by not letting them be men, so the solution is to track down men and destroy them so there are no contrary examples to the psychological insanity it is forcing on boys that shows that it is wrong.

Bottom line: if feminists don’t understand something as fitting into the way females do things, then it’s not only wrong - it doesn’t even exist.

Feminists are insane. They are literally psychopaths. They want their way to be the only way, and they want anyone who disagrees with them to be utterly destroyed - not only physically, but psychologically, emotionally, financially, socially and every other possible way.

Remember the Clones Wars in the Star Wars series? THESE are the REAL clone wars. These aren’t “feminists.” These are HILLARY CLONES. And as such, they are totally, murderously insane psychopaths pretending to be “women.”

But women are the one thing they are not, and will never be. If anything, they are anti-women - “anti” meaning the same thing as “anti-Christ.”

In short, they are evil, and bring only destruction.

[martin_fierro]

Women form circles around living room tables and discuss their feelings; men crowd around the grill, eyes locked on the meat, to discuss grilling techniques.

And then there's this, who'd rather talk about the wonders of statist health insurance.

[fortheDeclaration]

We need to make boys more masculine, not less.

Friendships are built around mutual respect, not need.

[newb2012]

Reminds me of this movie “I Love You Man”-portraying friendship between two (straight) men in a heart warming manner. Refreshing and worth watching,

[sodpoodle]

****the solution is to track down men and destroy them ****

In just a few decades - there will be one nation of several million women and a few men for sperm donation.

A lesson from agri-business: bulls are expensive to feed and dangerous to keep among the cows - so just have one bull and share his semen around. Cheap and easy.

Unfortunately - this weakens the herd and young bulls have no idea how to mate -they are simply meat - you don’t milk ‘em...just eat’em.

[Artie]

An acute analysis. Guys of a certain age need to travel back in time and thank the hapless Jimmy Carter for eliminating the 3 martini lunch. Things went to crap after that.

[Caipirabob]

You pretty much nailed the point:

I think femboy is a perfect example of the thought that men seem to relate through action and activity. Said discussion of activities are a reflection of their feelings. We just go about it differently than women. You can't get around natural wiring. We relate through discussion of sports, hunting, stock market, business, home improvement and...

; )

[representativerepublic]

This past Halloween we took our son trick or treating in our friends’ neighborhood because our sons are good buddies. All of the neighbors seemed to know each other and were all very friendly. I noticed along the “parade” route a community keg stop for the adults complete with red solo cups. Hilarious.

[3Fingas]

Feminists destroying masculinity.

I think some family men fall into this trap. They spend so much time being the family guy. They are so wrapped up in raising their children and being dressed and brow-beaten by their wives, they lose their own identity and have no time for male friends. To avoid this testosterone lowering entrapment, I recommend the following:

1. Get a motorcycle, join a motorcycle riding group. The MC world is male dominated. Women are allowed to attend, but they usually have to take a back seat — where they should be in the first place. LOL. Just kidding ladies.

2. Get a gun/guns, going to a shooting range with friends from work or get involved in shooting competitions. This is largely a male activity, although women have a presence.
All around, this is a male dominated activity. Guys naturally like this activity and can often impress the few women that attend.

3. Car clubs — requires fixing and/or detailing cars. Mechanical skills are largely a masculine domain. Guys who like cars often talk about cars and freely talk about their women in their lives. They also do other manly sort of things.

There are many other things men can do in male groups: go fishing, go hunting, bowling, shooting pool, hiking, form a fight club (not for the feint of heart).

Anyhow, I find that when the kids are grown and the marriage has moved to a stage of advanced maturity (assuming that your marriage lasts that long), it is very easy to do these manly things. I have a lot more time for friends now, usually male friends. Really, I see this article as being most applicable to men who get married and try to do the right thing (raise their kids and have a good marriage) but who forget that they need to make time for themselves outside their marital/parent roles. I know there are many man-children out there who never grow up and don’t commit to marriage and family. But, after reading this feminist diatribe, you can better understand why some are reluctant to do so.

[trebb]

ade says American men—specifically white heterosexuals—lack the intimate bonds necessary to lead fulfilling lives. “The friendships they have, if they’re with other men, provide less emotional support and involve lower levels of self-disclosure and trust than other types of friendships,” Wade writes.

Pure homo drivel.

[Farnsworth]

thats a good point.

I also think a lot of this is because of the pro female agenda in the public schools.

[Farnsworth]

makes one wonder and question the persons “expertise” doesn’t it??

thanks for the reply

[Larry Lucido]

The call was over in seconds.

That's all a guy needs for a phone call. We're not chicks.

[trisham]

Heh. :)