Kraft Announces there is a Velveeta Cheese Shortage

saw it on the world wide web | january 7, 2014 | hondact200

[hondact200]

Kraft announces that you may not double dip this year because Kraft has not been supplying enough Velveeta Cheese throughout all of the USA. There is ample supply in Chicago but on the Coasts there may be a run on it

[dennisw]

Velveeta is vile and is a processed cheese product. It is not cheese

[djf]

I might try it, but I never saw one with “REGGIANO” stamped on the side...

[Terry L Smith]

It’s an underhanded Communist/Democratic plot, to get revenge on all “the Duck Dynasty States”!

Yesterday, when ‘She’ and I were ‘making groceries’, there it was, both on the regular shelf, as well as where all the ‘chilled sandwich cheese’ resides!!! No shortage, then, for sure!

[hoagy62]

You are correct, I don’t. Got nothing against guns, believe STRONGLY in the 2A.

So, what DOES warrant shooting a block of Velveeta? I am now VERY curious.

[Inyo-Mono]

So that means people actually buy that vile “cheese”? We got better cheese in MRE’s than that cheese like substance.

Works good as bait for bluegills.

[kvanbrunt2]

amen

[dhs12345]

Ya. Even the roaches after a nuclear blast won’t eat it.

[JRandomFreeper]

Avtually, it's cheese. No oil.

Velveeta: Nonfat milk and milkfat, whey, milk protein concentrate, milk, maltodextrin, and then less than 2% of the standard list of salt, lactic acid, cheese culture, etc....

/johnny

[OldPossum]

I once had this wicked, and simultaneously stupid, idea of sending out invitations to our friends to attend a wine and cheese party.

When the guests arrived we would serve Thunderbird wine and Velveeta cheese.

We also would have been killed on the spot.

[Road Warrior ‘04]

Alright! Now I’m in panic mode! /s

[mountn man]

Does it even need to be refrigerated before opening?

[dhs12345]

Ya. Probably from China. Watch out for lead.

[driftdiver]

Oh cmon velveeta and rotel makes some pretty darn good queso.

[stocksthatgoup]

Velveeta is NOT cheese1

[Squawk 8888]

So, what DOES warrant shooting a block of Velveeta?

Maybe he thought the lead would improve the flavour.

[Cyclone59]

Velveeta is not cheese! It is Cheese-food

[mountn man]

So, what DOES warrant shooting a block of Velveeta? I am now VERY curious.

That's simple, silly. Having bullets.

If you have bullets, SOMETHING needs shooting.

[21twelve]

I wonder if it was an attempt and ballistic gelatin?

“Where do ya buy that stuff Hank? Let’s just make our own - we got some Jello in the pantry I can whip up.”

“That’d take too long - its got to cool overnight I think. Hey - how abouts this block of Velvetta!?”

Or it might have been as simple as the natural progression from shooting empty tin cans to new cans of pickled beets to ... VELVEETA! (”I hate that crap anyways!”)

[elkfersupper]

Never shoot a block of Velveeta cheese at close range with a .357, you can get covered head to foot with small orange dots. Don’t ask me how I know this.

Tried that with something chambered in .45-70.

Same result, more explanations required.

[faithhopecharity]

life without Velveeta just ain’t worth living!?