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Breaking: Obama Stunned to Learn He’s President
National Review ^ | 5-30-2014 | Peter Kirsanow

Posted on 05/30/2014 3:04:56 PM PDT by smoothsailing

May 30, 2014

Breaking: Obama Stunned to Learn He’s President

Peter Kirsanow

Responding to recent allegations that Barack Obama is president of the United States, putative White House press secretary Jay Carney stated he was looking into the matter. “We found out about Obama supposedly being president from reports in the media, just like everyone else.”

Appearing briefly at today’s news conference, Obama stated, “I’m madder than anybody to learn about this. If true, this is completely unacceptable. I won’t stand for it; I won’t tolerate it. Not a smidgen. Period.”

Pressed as to whether Obama, now aware that he’s commander-in-chief, would finally take action on the numerous scandals and failures plaguing his alleged administration, Carney emphasized Obama will first call for an investigation to get to the bottom of the troubling allegations. “He will not rush into this with incomplete information like his supposed predecessor. He will approach this in a deliberate, judicious manner. To this point, he’d been reliably informed that he was simply a member of ‘The Real Presidents of Washington, D.C.’ reality show. So, understandably, we’ll want to see what the investigation yields before acting.”

Asked by Ed Henry of Fox News why an investigation was needed when there had been two relatively well-publicized presidential elections in the last five years, Carney, who’d just announced his departure from whatever, retorted to the delight of the other members of the White House press corps, “Obviously, Ed, those reports were primarily driven by your network, and, frankly, have been seized upon and politicized by Republicans and other extremists. Those of us in the reality-based community want a bit more evidence of Barack’s alleged presidency.”


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: satire
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To: TigersEye
Is it possumus I'm the President!?

LOL! Possumus! What a great word! B^)

21 posted on 05/30/2014 3:49:53 PM PDT by smoothsailing
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To: smoothsailing

It’s a real word. It’s Latin and it’s right there on 0bama’s “official” seal of the resident-elect.


22 posted on 05/30/2014 3:56:14 PM PDT by TigersEye ("No man left behind" is more than an Army Ranger credo it's the character of America.)
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To: TigersEye
I'll be darned, I'd never noticed it before. Thanks for the tip.

Vero Possumus - Latin for "We Are Rats". B^)

23 posted on 05/30/2014 4:04:35 PM PDT by smoothsailing
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To: smoothsailing

I like it!


24 posted on 05/30/2014 4:07:03 PM PDT by OwenKellogg (Fundamental transformation leads to ... you don't want to go there, buddy.)
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To: smoothsailing

Yes. The actor who did that, Steve Bridges, died of anaphyactic shock shortly thereafter.

(It sure can be very handy to have unfettered access to health records)...


25 posted on 05/30/2014 4:20:43 PM PDT by null and void (Disarm Hollywood! No Guns for Box Office!)
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To: smoothsailing

“We are funny lookin’ Rats!” lol


26 posted on 05/30/2014 4:20:52 PM PDT by TigersEye ("No man left behind" is more than an Army Ranger credo it's the character of America.)
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To: smoothsailing

27 posted on 05/30/2014 4:21:15 PM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: kingattax

ValJ...all they need is another figurehead and the Chicago mob can easily have a 3rd and 4th term.


28 posted on 05/30/2014 4:22:51 PM PDT by nascarnation (Toxic Baraq Syndrome: hopefully infecting a Dem candidate near you)
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To: nascarnation

So was I not once but twice? SMH!


29 posted on 05/30/2014 4:40:38 PM PDT by DocJhn
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To: smoothsailing

Truth playing dead?


30 posted on 05/30/2014 5:43:50 PM PDT by Excellence (Marine mom since April 11, 2014)
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To: trisham

So when Michelle was going, ‘Mr. President, oh, Mr. President’, he thought she was talking about Bush?


31 posted on 05/30/2014 5:48:22 PM PDT by Delta Dawn (Fluent in two languages: English and cursive.)
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
"Wait until Obama finds out that Obama is President. Nobody's madder than him!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Yes, he is furious (fast and furious, in fact) and he will get to the bottom of this with his new press secretary, Ernestine!

32 posted on 05/30/2014 6:52:07 PM PDT by Heart-Rest ("Our hearts are restless, Lord, until they rest in Thee." - St. Augustine)
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To: Liberty Valance

What a hoot! That’s hilarious! B^)


33 posted on 05/30/2014 7:07:05 PM PDT by smoothsailing
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To: Excellence
LOL, good one!

VERO POSSUMUS

The Truth Plays Possum


34 posted on 05/30/2014 7:25:52 PM PDT by smoothsailing
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To: smoothsailing

Thank you very much! I’m here all week!


35 posted on 05/30/2014 7:42:51 PM PDT by Excellence (Marine mom since April 11, 2014)
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To: Excellence
I’m here all week!

Great, I'll alert the media! B^)

36 posted on 05/30/2014 7:46:55 PM PDT by smoothsailing
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