[Cagey]

Some incredible FReeper replies on thread one.

Thread One

[RandallFlagg]

Every futuristic spaceship never has a toilet. AND, Nobody ever needs to use one.

[caddie]

This may have been posted, but...

A cop with a one-inch barrel, .38 snub nose revolver, can hit a perp dead center in the chest from a mile away, when both of them are running, full gallop, on the edges of rooftops of tenements, in opposite directions, wearing black, at night, with the cop shooting sideways...,

[Double Tap]

The bad guys can never hit anything with full-auto fire, and yet the good guys can use two machineguns/shotguns/pistols at once with great accuracy.

[Double Tap]

All mafia types prefer baseball bats for their light duty work.

[JenB]

No matter how advanced the technology, it always has something so goofy, it at once is reduced to the level of a Rube Goldberg contraption. (I.E., in "The Matrix", the machines use energy based on a combination of human body heat - and nuclear fusion! Why even have the people involved at all?) Or like transporters: can be used for almost anything - reverse aging machines, confinement cells, stasis chambers.....

[Arthur McGowan]

If one character A asks character B "What happened?" or "Why do we need to do XYZ?"--character B will never answer. He will say, "There's no time to explain" or "I'll tell you on the way"--i.e., off-camera.

[chemicalman]

Whenever someone is ducking from fire in a gunfight, it is always drums of fuel or a gasoline tank.

[Paul Atreides]

All 95 pound women can beat up 250 pound guys.

All female protagonists are feminists.

All alien cultures never before encountered speak English.

All rich people are cold and evil.

All women fall down when running from a monster.

All attackers can get their victim to drop a gun by just saying "you can't shoot me" in their best Hannibal voices

All action heroes spend most of the movie sneaking up on terrorists until the moment before he jumps them, that's when he starts shouting so they turn around and see him

[Double Tap]

Firearms are almost never effective means of self-defense, except when used by local LEO/FBI/Military.

[11th Earl of Mar]

women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Strange noises in their underwear? Like right before they crap their pants?

[Paul Atreides]

When going through a time/space portal that will close within 10 seconds, rather than jump through, the man and woman (usually a married couple on the verge of divorce) will stand in front of it and french-kiss for 30 seconds.

Things that kill the villian in 10 seconds will take a minute and a half to kill the hero, thereby giving him time to figure a way out or be rescued.

[#3Fan]

Yeah, what's with that? I've done informal tests, and have yet to find a pillow I can't breathe through.

Funny you mention that, I made sure right before I posted that. LOL I surveeved as Andy Kaufman
would say. :^)

[Brett66]

For some reason, shooting a handgun sideways is accurate.
For some reason, a girl that never fires or practices with a handgun can pick one up and place a bullet right between the bad guys eyes.

[Justice]

A woman pursued by a monster or other undesirable will always fall down while running away.

[Mad Dawgg]

When someone is being chased and is Running on the roof's of old buildings and jumping across to the next, the 2nd guy will land short and manage to grasp the ledge while his cohorts shoot at the fleeing man who gets away! (It does not matter if it is the good or the bad guy being chased!)

[Brett66]

Cars that make a fifty foot jump slam down on the ground with no damage. After hitting the ground, they can speed along at 100+ MPH.

Cars that are being chased can speed through busy intersections barely missing other cars going through.

Only cars behind the car being chased get hit by other cars.

The car being chased knows the perfect route to take to elude capture, there's never any traffic jams, never any sidewalks that aren't big enough to accomadate a speeding car.

Cars always explode.

Cars always launch into the air when they hit a car hard enough.

[rdww]

And don't forget...

When a bad guy with a gun gets the drop on a good guy, he always wastes several minutes explaining how he done it before trying to actually shoot the good guy.

People never walk to a door and keep going out -- they always pause and turn at the door to make a final, pithy comment.

[lowbridge]

All criminal masterminds and spies choose a very public place to discuss their top secret diabolical plans like in a library or a Museum. And no matter how much they keep their voices lowered, their voices loudly echo and bounce off the walls of the cavernous rooms all the while ordinary everyday tourists walk right by them.

[Brett66]

All men of God are phony hypocrites.
All new age gurus are enlightened.

[maxwell]

Corrollary to post#21 on thread one:

Most folks with Southern accents are evil. Or dimwits. Or both. Religious southerners are especially heinous.