Car Wash "Penis" was an "Udder" Thing Instead (whew)

Reuters ^

[Dallas]

HASTINGS, Neb. (Reuters) - A lingering mystery involving what appeared to be a severed human penis found in a Nebraska car wash has been solved, police said on Wednesday, with tests showing the organ was a cow's teat.

"I've learned more about cow parts and human parts in the past two weeks than I cared to," said Police Chief Larry Thoren.

Police launched a possible homicide investigation after the part was found near a vacuum cleaner at a car wash in Hastings on Feb. 12. Local medical officials said they thought it resembled a human penis and it was sent off to a state crime laboratory for further tests.

Thoren said test results showed it to be a cow's teat, nothing udder.

[duckman]

This is simple. Just look for a dairy farmer with a broken milking machine. He probably used the vacuum till his machine was fixed.

[chainsaw]

Police launched a possible homicide investigation

Shouldn't that be "bovicide investigation "? '

[Dallas]

no kidding---how hard could it be to find a three teated cow.

[HEY4QDEMS]

I guess now it's PETAs problem.

[Rifleman]

These medical experts better go back to school to take a few more anatomy classes. Anybody ought to be able to tell the difference between a teat and a talliwacker.

[doctor noe]

...the difference between a teat and a talliwacker.

About 4"?

[Jaded]

Some folks don't get out much...there are just too many ways to go with this. I'll stop.

[weegee]

He'd learn the difference if he ever tried to milk a cow and then to try milking a bull.

The bull will get angry at him mistaking it for a cow!

[chainsaw]

no kidding---how hard could it be to find a three teated cow.

What's the IQ of a Nebraska cop?

[Dallas]

slept through anatomy class--did ya ?---LOL

[VRWC_minion]

This reminds me of the movie the Jerk. This is $hit. This is shinola.

[CheneyChick]

Holy Cow, I bet that cow was rather attached to that....

[freebilly]

Was the teat circumcised?

[Jefferson Adams]

I have to admit, it *is* pretty hard to tell them apart. Confuses me all the time. Sometimes when I'm in the bathroom I just freak out when I, well, you know, right before I, well, you know. And driving by a herd of cows is enough to drive a lot of people totally out of their minds, especially if they're of the, shall we say, desirous female persuasion?

[Dallas]

this story is udderly ridiculous...

[deadrock]

Yes, but it's no skin of my nose.

[NC_Libertarian]

This would make a great south park episode.

[freebilly]

This story sounds like a bunch of bull, but the media will milk it for all it's worth.

[midwestmidnight]

Lorraina Boooooo-bit?