George Bailey Found Dead, Suicide Suspected

movementarian ^

[Sir Gawain]

BEDFORD FALLS - Local entrepreneur George Bailey was found dead this morning, washed up on the bank of the river. Preliminary toxicology results show that he had a blood-alcohol content of .1%, which is higher than the legally allowed .08%. This may have contributed to his deciding to jump off of the bridge. Bailey, a well-known local businessman, and all around doormat is survived by his wife and four children. Bailey, now deceased. Widow, Mary Bailey told reporters, “George was very upset with his uncle for misplacing a large amount of money, as well as his general inability to make the Bedford Building and Loan into a profitable business. George was such a kind soul, he even sacrificed his own dreams and money to send his brother to college.” Bedford Falls’ self-made millionaire, Sam Wainwright also fondly remembered his high-school chum, George. “Hee-Haw, I’m really going to miss ol’ George. I think he was mighty upset and regretted his decision not to jump in on the ground floor of my plastics business. It’s a darn shame.” It turns out that there is no end to the people who were shocked at hearing that George Bailey had tragically killed himself. After multiple testimonies and personal benedictions, it became evident that much of Bailey’s popularity was due to his almost superhuman ability to sacrifice himself for a cause without expecting anything in return. His latest adventure into altruism pushed his business on the verge of total failure in order to please the people of Bedford Falls. Local taxi driver Bert lamented that “George would do anything for anybody. He never cared about himself. Heck, he sacrificed his dreams and humanity for most of the people in this town.” In fact, only one person in town, Mr. Potter, a cartoonishly evil businessman in the classic style of the 1920’s Plutocrats, had the only negative comment about George's demise. “George Bailey kept me from owning and running this town lock, stock, and barrel. Now that he’s gone I can take action to shut down his puny building and loan company along with all the other inefficient businesses here. It has been a thorn in my side for far too long. I think I'll burn down some trees to, to celebrate -- maybe even a big spruce.” It is quite obvious that the mewling throngs of Bedford Falls will sorely miss the self-sacrificing George Bailey. If an honest and charitable man like George cannot make it in this cruel world, who can?

[budwiesest]

I'd have trouble playing the piano with Zu-Zu petals stuck in my ear. Good riddance.

[martin_fierro]

I guess Bedford Falls will turn into a sleazy, Liberal run, Hell hole now!

It has. It became Ithaca.

> chuckle < <|:)~

[ican'tbelieveit]

Preliminary toxicology results show that he had a blood-alcohol content of .1%, which is higher than the legally allowed .08%.

Fascinating comment. I thought that it was only the legal limit for driving, not illegal period to have a BAC over .08%. I love reporters.

[js1138]

Now Biff is in charge?

[ewing]

But George had illegally drunk driven his car into a tree before he jumped off the bridge..I smell a press coverup and conspiracy!

[kjam22]

He jumped because Violet Bick was going to go public with a paternity suit!

[ewing]

That must have been some hard liqour at the bar on an empty stomach to get .1 blood alchol level the next morning!

[TomServo]

Bwahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

[N. Theknow]

...the Bedford Building and Loan ...

Thought it was the Bailey Building and Loan?

[Fiddlstix]

..I smell a press coverup and conspiracy!

Good Point!
We must look into that

[ewing]

That right, Violet could bribe him like Michael Jordans mistress..

[princess leah]

Mary should have married Sam Wainwright!

[ewing]

The Mothers Against Model T Ford Drunk Driving will be up in arms..

[ewing]

I think his name was Henry Potter or Harold?

[Billthedrill]

A simple insurance scam. Follow the money, sez I...

[L.N. Smithee]

IMHO, It's a Wonderful Life is the greatest movie ever.

[ewing]

I think Zu-Zu is still alive and livng somewhere in the Midwest..

[kjam22]

It is a great movie. I bought it on DVD the other day. A classic.

[ewing]

One word..the future is plastics!

[ewing]

The local paper hasn't yet seen the insurance scam angle yet..