Gay spouse, straight spouse

Sacramento Bee ^ | 2/8/03 | Cynthia Hubert

[hoosierskypilot]

Anna Marie Will was prepared for a bombshell. Her husband of 11 years, Jim, had been troubled and told her he needed to speak with her about something serious.

But the words that came from his mouth that day were ones she never imagined she would hear.

[hoosierskypilot]

That's garbage. His perversion is a choice. He also made a choice to defile his marriage vows.

It sickens me that people dismiss their culpability by intimating they are powerless against their choices.

It's the typical "me, me, me, my, my, my, I, I, I" mentality they've been brought up with by stupid parents who worship their kids as "godlets."

[roylene]

My sisters husband left her after 25 years of marriage, three kids and four grandchildren (left all of them really) to move in with a young man who "taught him the real meaning of love". My brother in-law made one - if not - the most selfish choices I have ever seen anyone make. He destroyed everyone (all are recovering) not only my sister and her family but our entire family as well - for what a romp in the sack with a kid half his age. Oh well, he has what he wants now but at what expense.

[frca]

Sorry to hear about your sister's situation. It definitely was a selfish choice. I think that we as a society need to create a situation where gay men don't feel the pressure to get married because regrettable consequences like this might arise. I'm certainly not trying to justify your ex-brother-in-law's actions, just bringing up a point. Hope you're doing ok.

[Cicero]

They've set up "guidelines"?

If this is some sort of "open marriage" scenario, I sincerely hope she has considered the likelihood of getting AIDS from her scum of a husband.

[ClearCase_guy]

I think that we as a society need to create a situation where gay men don't feel the pressure to get married

I hope we as a society create a situation where people who feel they are homosexual recognize that it is a mental illness and can be cured.

[Mamzelle]

re: My sisters husband left her after 25 years of marriage, three kids and four grandchildren (left all of them really) to move in with a young man )))

Intriguing how older homosexual men really go for the girlish younger men. Supposedly they are attracted to men, but isn't it really boys and children that attract them? Think of Oscar Wilde and the Marquess's son. Wilde admitted casually in his writings of the fun he had with underage boys. Is it the round faces and hairless bodies? Humans are so strange...

[dpa5923]

As difficult as "coming out" can be for disclosing spouses, it can be just as painful for husbands and wives on the receiving end of the news, said Buxton and others. Often they are angry, confused, depressed and isolated, too embarrassed to tell friends and family members but with few other outlets for their feelings.

Duh! No kidding.

[Theresawithanh]

I have a friend who knew of a couple this happened to. Forget how long they were married, but he was "in the closet", until he got AIDS from one of his contacts, passing the disease on to his wife. Truly a terrible situation!

Don't know whether someone is "born gay" or not, although I strongly suspect it is a lifestyle choice which is made, often with dire and deadly consequences.

[onedoug]

Why Judaism Rejected Homosexuality

We can say “chosen” because the vast majority of gay men have had intercourse with women. As a four-year study of 128 gay men by a UCLA professor of psychology revealed, “More than 92 percent of the gay men had dated a woman at some time, two-thirds had sexual intercourse with a woman.” As of now, the one theory we can rule out is that homosexuals are biologically programmed to be homosexual. Despite an understandably great desire on the part of many to prove it (and my own inclination to believe it), there is simply no evidence that homosexuality is biologically determined.

[BizzeeMom]

My mother "came out" 26 years ago, when I was 14. She is a radical feminist man-hater and very troubled human (sociopath and pathological liar....or is that redundant?). She sexually abused me and my sisters and no one suspected a thing. She destroyed my father and our family. My sisters never have recovered...I have but it took 20 years. I have no sympathy for these idiots whatsoever.

[hoosierskypilot]

I disagree that it's a mental illness. IMO, it's a choice. Like becoming an alcoholic. A person chooses to start drinking, chooses to continue drinking, and then the inevitable happens.

To classify such deviance as illness is to give credence to the idea that one is not responsible for one's choices.

[hoosierskypilot]

Gee, for a second I thought you were my daughter, since you were describing our situation.

I agree, I have less than zero sympathy for these, or any low-life piece of trash that imposes such choices upon their children.

Granted, sometimes marriages don't work out. But for Pete's sake, you stay together for the sake of the children. I wish people would stop feeling like "they" are the most important people on earth, and simply, grow up.

BTW, I'm very glad you've been able to recover. And I, as you, wish you could help your sisters, whether they want it or not. All we can do is pray, right?

[hoosierskypilot]

Humans are so strange...

What're you? A duck?

Just kidding. I agree with you. No creature on earth stoops to the level of depravity as humans.

Like BG once said, "If God doesn't destroy America, He'd better apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah."

The clock's ticking.

[BizzeeMom]

Agreed, prayer is the only way! :) and FWIW I'm very sorry that you're family suffers in this way. I do think that my faith helped me survive what others did not....a big thank you to my paternal Grandma for planting that seed!! She really did save me and I'll always be in her debt.

I hope things get better for you and yours....Blessings, BizzeeMom

[weegee]

As many as 15 percent choose to remain married.

This is the biggest reason for the "shock and heartbreak".

Tell your spouse that "I've found another" or "I'm no longer attracted to you" and see how long the marriage lasts.

Tell your spouse about your adulterous affair.

The jilted spouses shouldn't need a support group. The other partner is the one who left the marriage; the nature of the breakup doesn't require "special" homosexual acceptance ("Okay, my husband was homosexual, I accept that our marriage must end so that he can live a happier life").

It's a selfish act and it blames the victim.

[hoosierskypilot]

My family (i.e., children) will never be o.k. They grew up in a strict Christian home with both parents espousing an absolute set of morals, values, and ethics. Then their rat-trash of a mother abandons them (and me) in order to whore with satan.

I can understand abandoning the marriage, maybe. I can't understand a mother abandoning her children.

I tried my best to raise them properly. But I don't care how good a parent is. He/she cannot pull the weight of two good parents. And little girls need their mommy. Period.

That's what these self-centered parents who divorce and leave traumatized children in their wake won't admit. The kids suffer, permanently. They may improve, but they'll always carry scars.

80% of these rat-trash parents aren't fit to raise dogs, much less children.

[BizzeeMom]

It bites, it really does. My Dad let my mother keep custody of us, and it was an unfortunate choice, though he did what he thought best at the time. He really was the far better parent and sold himself short. I earnestly wish my mother had left and never come back....she's that toxic.

[speekinout]

we as a society need to create a situation where gay men don't feel the pressure to get married

We already have that. There are many straight and gay people who have not married and fit into society with no problems. Gay men who feel the need to get married have psychological problems to deal with. The ones who don't deal with the problems are the ones who cause chaos.

[Blake#1]

All of us should be planning for the future that does not have "American Justice". I mean Christian morality. It would be comforting to know of a geographic location in North America where we could go to "just in case". What FREE REPUBLIC is to the internet this "location" should be to the Conservative. The future belongs to those that plan for it.