Posted on 03/10/2003 6:41:21 PM PST by medscribe
FRANCE ONLY LEADS WORLD IN ARROGANCE
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Eiffel Tower - Photo by: AP
FRIG the frogs. Screw-ay les Francais.
Up the French.
France, a countrylet forever famous for immortal boons to civilization like shoemaker Christian Leboutin, dressmaker Christian LaCroix, stylemaker Christian Dior, is dissing the United States?
Mes enfants, vous can take votre French toast and shove it up your cafe au lait.
Look, I know today's big topics are: Our snow job, biggest blinking blizzard since that sprinkle of '88 ... our TV full of Michael Jackson who is also full of it and sticks his runt of a nose in all bad places ... and no-go Joe-blow Millionaire. But I wish to zap a nationlite which talks up its nose and whose speech once was, long ago was, formerly had been, previously had been, the language of diplomacy, the language of the air, the international language - and no longer is - and how they think they can make a pissoir out of the greatest country on earth!
Forget it, Pierre. France hasn't been a world power since Mrs. Curie discovered radium.
We don't need your eau de crap toilet water because ... believe me ... without Americans to wear your schmattas, without Americans to subsidize your tourism, without Americans to save your ungrateful behinds war after war, you'd be just where you deserve to be - a suburb of Germany.
As per the demonstrations, not all of us favor war. I'm not saying we should applaud killing that son of a bitch who wants to kill us. I'm just thumping for something called gratitude. Loyalty. Appreciation. A friend has been there for you? And that friend is suddenly in need? You help. You're there. What you confide to a friend in private is one thing. What you do for a friend in public is - you're there. You're his back-up. You fly his wing. You're his strength, his ammunition, his money in the bank.
A friend is someone you can count on. That's not France. The French hate the Americans. The French hate everyone. The French hate the French.
The ungrateful French, with their haute couture and haute attitudes, once were powerful. Well, they're not anymore. Even their cheeses smell.
France is small. Maybe its survival depends on its haughtiness. Shrimpy 5-foot-4-inch guys tend to be tough and arrogant. It makes up for what they're not. Could be that's what makes the French such pigs. With their future behind them, they have to excel in something, so it's arrogance.
Paris is beautiful, magnificent. But if its buildings were in New York City, we'd have condemned them long ago.
I realize I'm ranting. I don't mean to knock an entire people. In any case, I'm not important. Nothing I say will change events. However, even small persons like myself know what loyalty means. It means if someone saves your life, you do for them forever.
It's similar to the Mafia. You don't stand up for them, they'll sure as hell see that you lay down.
Let's see if La Belle France finks out on us after we tell her to stick her Pouilly Fusse. When we tell people, take a rowboat before you take Air France. How about we call for a boycott on berets?
You get a French manicure, we'll give you the finger. Your ex-pat countrymen here will starve because we won't invite them to dinner, go to their restaurants or eat their escargots, French onion soup, French fries, French dressing, French pastry.
It'll be ta-ta to foie gras. We'll do chopped liver from the Stage Deli.
Your Matisse exhibition is here? We'll check out Grandma Moses. You have croissants? We'll eat bagels. You do L'Oreal? We'll do Revlon. Perrier? Club soda! For you, it's Cartier. For us, it'll be Winston. When it comes to champagne, we'll play Pop Goes the Weasel. In place of French wine, we'll order California.
Think we should order Evian? You Les Miserables are all wet. We'll do Poland Spring.
You're hustling Hermes? We're doing la Gap.
You might've stuck it to Marie Antoinette but not Uncle Sam.
Nothing Made in France will get our attention except a couple of hookers in heat.
Wagnalls and his pal Funk say weasels are cunning sneaking rodent imbibing things. I say they should say, au revoir to le Yankee dollar.
What about cowardice and body odor?
My favorite part of the article!
Yes, let's give credit where credit is due. And let "French diplomacy" enter our great lexicon of oxymorons along with "feline gratitude" and "liberal thought."
I still think that the brand Evian is a joke on someone. Notice that Evian is "naive" spelled backwards?
Coincidence. Evian was a spa town long before its bottled water became famous
"...a pidgin or trade language that flourished in the Mediterranean from perhaps as early as the 1300's until perhaps as late as the 1800's. It was a blend of Italian, Provençal (or Occitan, the language of southern France), and Catalan (the language of the east coast of Spain). It had as well hints of Spanish, Portuguese, Croatian, Greek, Turkish, and Arabic.
Its grammar was extremely reduced. There was no gender, no plural suffix, no person suffixes for verbs, no possessive or separate objective form for pronouns.... The only grammatical suffix that survived was "-to" for the past tense! We can see similar grammars in modern Pidgins and Creoles, such as Melanesian Pidgin English and Haitian French Creole. "
Me-mange, frenchy.
There is nothing to sacrifice, nothing to boycott because I have nothing to discard or not buy.
Nothing in the book stacks either.
I have unknowingly been French free all along!
So much for the THINGS...Now about those lousy, spineless, greedy, smelly, cowardly, self-righteous, undermining, two-faced PEOPLE....
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