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Boycott Canada, eh? Adieu to radio, garbage bags, and easy-to-carry cases of beer
The GLobe and Mail ^ | 4/21/03 | ROY MacGREGOR

Posted on 04/21/2003 7:59:23 AM PDT by doc30

Poor Margaret Atwood.

Here she is, not only Canada's best-known writer but the most visible of the many Canadian critics of the War on Iraq, and she has to choose this month to release a new novel.

She might not care to hear Oryx and Crake tagged a "product," but that's the word the entertainment industry uses -- and, as of this past weekend, we now know America wants as little as possible to do with Canadian products.

According to a new survey by Fleishman-Hillard Canada and Wirthlin Worldwide, 48 per cent of Americans now say they are "very likely" or "somewhat likely" to turn their backs on anything that comes from France, Germany and Canada in favour of an alternative from any of the U.S.-led coalition of some 40-odd nations.

This would include, we have to presume, Atwood's new novel as well as a boycott on any future edition of the Canadian-invented Trivial Pursuit that might ask players to name more than three members (United States, Britain, Australia) of that coalition.

Such an anti-Canadian backlash is difficult to grasp by this particular Canadian, having just spent a month travelling through the United States and encountered only one American with a bone to pick with Canada -- and that a woman so peeved with the Montreal hockey-game booing of the American anthem that she regretted naming her dog Jacques.

Yet, according to this most recent survey, the American resolve is hardening, with 15 per cent saying they've already moved to eliminate such French products as wine and cheese.

As well, 8 per cent say they've substituted for Canadian products -- but had a more difficult time naming any actual Canadian products. About 79 per cent knew that Canadian Club whisky might be Canadian -- raising intriguing questions about the remaining 21 per cent -- but after a specific brand of whisky and perhaps maple syrup, they were pretty much lost when it came to Canada.

It's hard to have a boycott when you don't know what you're supposed to turn your back on.

We therefore offer up, free of charge, a handy list for quick reference:

Lay down your cell phones. Canadians brag endlessly about Alexander Graham Bell inventing the telephone in Brantford, Ont., so Americans could not only take a little revenge but make movies more enjoyable and highways safer at the same time.

Switch off the playoffs. Both professional hockey and pro basketball are winding up their endless seasons. A Canadian, James Naismith, invented basketball. No one knows who invented hockey or even where the first game was played -- but it's pretty much a given it wasn't the Mighty Ducks in Anaheim, California.

Start sleeping in. The only reason West Coast day traders rise at dawn to dump their high-tech mistakes is because some Canadian, Sir Sanford Fleming, invented time zones way back before there were even digital clocks to tell us what time it is. No way a Canadian clock should rule American lives.

No more laughing. The only funny people still hanging around Hollywood these days are Canadians like Jim Carrey, Mike Myers and assorted Second City and Saturday Night Live graduates, so switch off the national laugh track and see how funny Canadians find that.

No more divas. Celine Dion, Shania Twain, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morissette, Diana Krall, Nelly Furtado, Avril Lavigne all have one more thing in common than high Billboard charts -- they're all Canadian. Tune them out and give Cher and Madonna a chance to come all the way back.

Turn off the radio. Talk radio may be the main comfort zone of the Bush administration, but how many Americans realize it was a Canadian, Reginald Fessenden of East Bolton, Que., who is the true father of the radio (Marconi came later) and another Canadian, Ted Rogers, who came up with the vacuum tube that put a radio in every kitchen? Rush Limbaugh would understand.

Stop travelling. There wouldn't be Caribbean cruises if a Canadian had never come up with the screw propeller. Going back to wind would be a severe blow to Canadian self-worth. A Canadian also came up with variable pitch for propellers, but what's the use of killing air travel when it's already dead anyway?

Quit drinking. That Canadian whisky label is only the beginning. Not only are the best beers sold in the United States from Canada, but it was a Canadian who invented the tuck-away beer case handle that made long weekends possible. Put an end to it.

Stop taking out the garbage. The Man from Glad might look American, but the truth of plastic garbage bag lies in a handy little device that Harry Wasylyk and Larry Hansen came up with a half century ago for the Winnipeg General Hospital.

Canada thinks the United States won't raise much of a stink?

Just let 'em wait a couple of weeks.


TOPICS: Canada; Foreign Affairs
KEYWORDS: boycott; canada
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To: Grampa Dave
I drink Bass occasionally and it's one of my favorite Pale Ales.

I THINK a Connecticutt Guinness branch imports Bass to the US.

41 posted on 04/21/2003 10:43:55 AM PDT by Dan from Michigan ("I have two guns. One for each of ya." - Doc Holliday)
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To: Renfield
"This chap needs to brush up on his beer knowledge. With the admitted exception of the world-class beers from Unibroue (which is indeed a Canadian brewery, but so obscure that most Americans haven't heard of it), Canadian beers are generic and uninspired. Belgian beers are far-and-away the world's best, and British, Scottish, German, American West-coast, and Czech beers are, on average, way above Canadian brews. Heck, even the French are better brewers."

It's true, Canadian beers from the mainstream brewers are generic and uninspired. In fact, the only thing worse than mainstream Canadian beer is mainstream American beer. Why is American beer like making love in a canoe? Because they're both f!#$ing close to water.
42 posted on 04/21/2003 10:44:43 AM PDT by -YYZ-
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To: Dengar01
I find the best beers to be those made in Wisconsin

One of my favorite Lagers is from there. Leninenkugels - Chippewa Falls.

43 posted on 04/21/2003 10:45:06 AM PDT by Dan from Michigan ("I have two guns. One for each of ya." - Doc Holliday)
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To: Dan from Michigan
How many of you have made the four hour drive from Windsor up Queens Highway 401 to Toronto? Four hours of beautiful, empty scenery. Most of Ontario Province is so sparsely populated you don't know where Canada begins til you get to Missisauga. And then you enter the Greater Toronto area. Beyond that it thins out til you reach the nearest city of size along Lake Ontario, Kingston. Finally the 401 turns to Autoroute 20 and you're in Montreal and that La Belle Province, Quebec. I've gotten only as far as Petersborough on my last trip. If I had more time I might have been able to get to Ottawa and perhaps Montreal. After having seen the hateful rhetoric directed towards our country for the last couple of months I think I'll be spending my vacation dollars at home. If the Canadians want us back, let them grovel.
44 posted on 04/21/2003 10:46:12 AM PDT by goldstategop ( In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: Dan from Michigan
There are tons of micro-brews from all around that are awesome. Great Lakes, Rolling Rock, Shiner Bock...plus I have a soft spot for Genny Cream!
45 posted on 04/21/2003 10:46:46 AM PDT by eBelasco
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To: doc30
Bell was Scottish and grew up in Brantford. He invented the phone in the U.S.

When Andrew Wiles proved Fermat's Last Theorem, a British mathematician expressed pride that he was an Englishman working in the US. The American mathematician expressed pride that he was an Englishman working in the US.

46 posted on 04/21/2003 10:49:43 AM PDT by AmishDude
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To: goldstategop
I have made that drive. I think most of at least East Michigan has at some point. I believe out here that Toronto is probably the most common out of state vacation destination outside Florida(Orlando and Tampa is almost Michigan South) and maybe Chicago.

Never been to Quebec, going to stay that way too.

I wonder how many Michiganders are going up North instead of Canada this year.

47 posted on 04/21/2003 10:55:23 AM PDT by Dan from Michigan ("I have two guns. One for each of ya." - Doc Holliday)
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To: eBelasco
Rolling Rock is major commercial out here.

I never had Great Lakes suprisingly. Mackinac Pale Ale is excellent and is in Webberville about 25 miles West of where I'm at along my commute. Sometimes I stop there on the way.

48 posted on 04/21/2003 10:57:42 AM PDT by Dan from Michigan ("I have two guns. One for each of ya." - Doc Holliday)
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To: doc30
You would think even this jackass would know that now is not the time to taunt us. BS articles like this will only motivate even more of us to get pissed off.
49 posted on 04/21/2003 10:57:43 AM PDT by geedee
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To: doc30
You boycott what is coming out of the country right now, not something they did in the past. Your failure to understand this resonates with the problem your country has right now. The fact that we have done things side by side in the past has been worn down to nothing by what is coming out of Ottawa right now. No soup for you, MacGregor.
50 posted on 04/21/2003 10:57:51 AM PDT by gcruse (Saddam's last words. "I can see them. I can see 72.................VIRGILS???!!!?!?!")
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To: Dan from Michigan
I would suspect a lot of people will drive for a vacation this year to Chicago or perhaps to Cleveland. In the event I vacation again in MI this year I suspect Canada is out of the picture this year if for no other reason than been here done that. Besides I do think its about time Canadians stopped taking our patronage for granted.
51 posted on 04/21/2003 11:00:49 AM PDT by goldstategop ( In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: Grampa Dave; Dog Gone; Ernest_at_the_Beach; Shermy
An unwritten deal is when our enviral whackos make it impossible to mine, deliver oil or energy from American Sources at a competitive price.

Don't have any immediate answers to your question re: sweetheart Clintton deals, but I will offer this:

All efforts to impede domestic production can only HELP Canadian eports of oil, natural gas, etc.

On the good news side, even though Clintoon reliance on enviros to impede US production, which then HELPED Canadian exporters, Canadian gas storage figures are at an all time low, their "Vaunted, Elite" Ladyfern natural gas field is declining faster than soddom's gene pool. That field alone (discovered during Clintoon years) was supposed to raise Canadian imports of natural gas by some 5%. That ain't gonna happen and I've recently seen reports that predict a 3-5% DECLINE in Canadian natural gas imports this year.

This is somewhat of a double edged sword however, as many US companies are involved in Canadian exploration. I'll keep looking for a Clintton sweetheart deal....my initial guess would be that we might find one in the lumber industry as I don't think they are as draconian as our enviros have forced our regulations to be on our timber industry.

52 posted on 04/21/2003 11:03:28 AM PDT by BOBTHENAILER (Just like Black September. One by one, we're gonna get 'em.)
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To: q_an_a
I do hope your comment is tongue-in-cheek. Shiner Bock is not even to the standard of Canadian brews (and it's not a true Bock beer, either). The best Texas-brewed beer that I have tasted is Celis Wit, a Belgian-style white beer, made in Austin.
53 posted on 04/21/2003 11:04:58 AM PDT by Renfield
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To: doc30
If I use a cellphone, Canadians don't benefit in any way, so no need to boycott, if that's your goal... Pasteurization was developed in France, but no one is saying don't drink milk either. This article is silly and non-logical. My questions is: if all these things were developed in Canada, and I have no doubt they weren't, how come Canada can't benefit? Why when something become economically successful does it find a new home south of the border?
54 posted on 04/21/2003 11:08:39 AM PDT by Koblenz (There's usually a free market solution)
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To: BOBTHENAILER
What if we find a money trail from the Canadian countries to Club Sierra and other enviral whackos who fight 24/7 to prevent any logging, mineral removal or pumping oil/natural gas from America?
55 posted on 04/21/2003 11:09:05 AM PDT by Grampa Dave (Being a Monthly Donor to Free Republic is the Right Thing to do!)
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To: goldstategop
I'm sure outside of those with family in Canada or work there, the tourism will certainly decline, if for nothing else, the border checks and the wait.

If you like scenery, you can't beat North MI, especially the Mackinac area. There's a reason Michiganders always talk about "up North". Just watch out for the deer.

Traverse City/Leelanau/Boyne/Petoskey is also a great area along Lake Michigan.

56 posted on 04/21/2003 11:13:16 AM PDT by Dan from Michigan ("I have two guns. One for each of ya." - Doc Holliday)
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To: doc30; All
Lord! how are we gonna survive without the above mentioned Canadian products?? Seriously though, I heard on the news the other day that the All American candy- "Lifesavers" are no longer being produced in the U.S.
Production is being moved to Canada. Our older Dodge Caravan has a placard that indicates that it was assembled in Canada. You will be surprised at how many old American brand name products are now produced in Canada.
Lesson: Always Read The Labels of Manufactured Origins.
57 posted on 04/21/2003 11:13:57 AM PDT by Minutemen
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To: Grampa Dave
What if we find a money trail from the Canadian countries to Club Sierra and other enviral whackos who fight 24/7 to prevent any logging, mineral removal or pumping oil/natural gas from America?

Thay, my FRiend, would be the motherlode, the smoking gun used to destroy the enviro/whackos, the Clintoon DNA all over the destruction of America, etc., etc.

Producers in the Powder River coalbed methane play have already published a list in the Caspar, Sheridan and Gillette papers, of funding sources for all the "so-called local" enviro/whacko groups......and as I recall it, the trails all lead out of wyoming to Club Sierra, Natural Res. Defense Council, etc.

58 posted on 04/21/2003 11:17:38 AM PDT by BOBTHENAILER (Just like Black September. One by one, we're gonna get 'em.)
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To: BOBTHENAILER
Some one is paying for the high priced lawyers and execs who represent Club Sierra.

Whenever, they block oil/gas exporation in the US, close roads to timber in our national forests, and block mining of coal, and other minerals, that decrease our supply of these commodities.

Then that increases the demand from the Middle East and Canadian energy companies, which enables them to increase their prices. I'm sure that Canadian Timber companies have been the major benefactors of the logging bans in our forests.
59 posted on 04/21/2003 11:22:35 AM PDT by Grampa Dave (Being a Monthly Donor to Free Republic is the Right Thing to do!)
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To: Koblenz
Why when something become economically successful does it find a new home south of the border?

THat is a very good question that continues to perplex Canadians. I can speak from experience that Canada is not an economically friendly place for achievers. That's why so many educated Canadians move to the U.S. In the States, it is much easier to find work and the pay is significantly higher. Also, the oppressive taxation in Canada makes the U.S. a more fertile place to do business. Socialism is so strong that if you do well financially, you are looked down upon. Friends of mine who are achievers have been told not to work so hard because it makes everyone else look bad. I know this because I am an escapee from the Peoples' Republic of Canuckistan.

60 posted on 04/21/2003 1:17:09 PM PDT by doc30
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