Telemarketer reveals tricks of trade

MSNBC ^ | April 21, 2003 | Bob Sullivan

[lainie]

The phone rings in the middle of a busy day. “I just want to verify some information for your yellow page listing,” says a voice on the other end of the line. It’s your business, so you agree to the chat. Name. Address. Phone number. You reply with a simple “yes” to eight or nine rapid-fire questions. A month later, there’s a $29.95 charge on your phone bill for a service you don’t remember ordering. You’ve been crammed, another victim of fast-talking telemarketers who are skirting the edges of telecommunications law to create a multimillion industry.

..But the former employee, who was laid off by the company several weeks ago, alleges that Epixtar’s telemarketers use a variety of techniques — including altering taped telephone calls — to prove that customers agreed to charges.

..On the call, the Epixtar operator says she is verifying the business name and address. Then, after she gets the consumer into the rhythm of giving “yes” answers, she establishes that he has the right to make changes to the phone bill. But that key question, read at lightning-quick speed, is slipped in behind another simple “yes” answer.

“At this time we will begin your no obligation 30-day free trial. Should you decide to continue after 30 days your company’s Web and Internet service is only $29.95 monthly and will be included in your local phone bill appearing under the heading online services ...,” the operator says. The flummoxed consumer replies hesitatingly, “Yes ....” The former employee claims the tape was neatly cut after the word “yes.”

[FourPeas]

I see lots of potential (and fun) here.

[gaijin]

To ward off calls like this, you could:

Intone a very worried-sounding voice, and ask forebodingly if the caller knows how to get a large blood stains out of a carpet.

Gets a dial tone every time.

[Kozak]

Here's what you do.
As soon as your realize it's a telemarketer you tell him,
"I really want to talk to but can you hang on one minute?"
Then you put the phone down and go about your buisiness till you hear the disconnect tones comming from the phone. With a little luck you tie the jerk up for a few minutes. Thats 5 or 6 people he didn't call.....

[Arkinsaw]

In a very deep cowboy voice say...."My momma ain't home right now. You are gonna have to talk to my momma. I'm only 13."

[FourPeas]

Recently Mr. FourPeas told one telemarketer that he was annoying and to put us on their do not call list. After he hung up, the guy called back again and started to get abusive. Hubby hung up again. The guy called back yet again and threatened him. Calls to the phone company, etc. were fruitless. The office that handles the violation is only open M-F office hours and they won't do anything if it happens at night or on the weekends.

[Focault's Pendulum]

To which I replied, "Heidi, I'm completely naked - what are you wearing?" I heard a click and silence.

I tried that once. Unfortunately...after describing my body parts in detail..no one clicked off. Much to my chagrin...I realized...I had left my speed dial on 1 900..........

[VetoBill]

Sometimes I get creative. Someone selling siding, I live in a brick home. Someone peddling phone plans, I do not have a phone (this one is really fun!)

I usually tell the caller I do not buy anything over the phone. One time I got a smart @ss who responded, "Yeah right how about pizza? You order pizza from a phone."

His answer might have worked expect I live in the boonies. The nearest pizza place is 45 miles away.

[strela]

I try to be creative with responses to telemarketers. A few years ago, I was receiving as many as 2 calls a day every day for a week from Arthur Murray Dance Studios. (Guess they were having trouble meeting their quota). Polite "no"s didn't work, being rude didn't work, hanging up didn't work. I finally told the lady telemarketer that I was a Vietnam veteran that used to be a professional ballroom dancer before losing both my legs to a land mine. I asked her in the most plaintive voice that I could feign, "Could I come down there and just ... watch other people dance?" The calls stopped.

(Yes, a thoroughly reprehensible story, and I'm a little ashamed of it. But it worked).

[Tennessee_Bob]

Somehow, my cell phone ended up on a calling list. I was getting several calls a day, and it was driving me crazy. We had fun with it at work. It rang one time, and my boss answered it. He explained that they couldn't speak to me right now, because I was busy packing my stuff because I'd gotten fired for getting so many calls at work and theirs was the last straw. I answered the phone once and when they asked for me, I asked who was calling - I identified myself as a sheriff's deputy (which I'm not) and told the rep that this phone was found at a crime scene and was vital evidence...so tell me who it belongs to. I had a supervisor on the phone in a heartbeat - and then told her to put me on the do not call list and hung up.

[SpinyNorman]

After finally fobbing off a very persistent lady telemarketer, bid her goodbye, and as I hung up, she, thinking she was off the line said under her breath, "boy this really sucks!" I was laughing my butt off!!!

[Tennessee_Bob]

LOL!

[PatrioticAmerican]

Since colorado's do not call list went into affect, I don't get calls anymore, but I always said
"Just a minute...", and put the phone down.

[redhead]

"One method that I haven't used which I think is excellent: when the caller asks for so-and-so, tell them yes, just a minute. Put the phone down and let it sit until the caller gets tired of waiting. Voila! you've just saved another few persons from calls while the telemarketer's line is tied up waiting on no one. :-) "

I always say Mr. or Mrs. X is not here, and ask if I can take a message or have them call back. Works every time. And it's polite. If you answer the phone, and you hear a 3-to 5-second pause, hang up. It's THEM.

[GirlShortstop]

If you answer the phone, and you hear a 3-to 5-second pause, hang up. It's THEM.

GOOD point!  I've yet to be told by a family member or friend that I hung up on them.  FReegards.

[Arkinsaw]

Or, when they start talking just say "WHAT LEONARD? Speak up. I can't hear you Leonard. When are you going to visit me again Leonard. I am so lonely Leonard and you don't care.

[wideminded]

1. If you say hello once and you just hear background noise from a boiler room, hang up. Don't say hello a second time.

2. Don't wait for them to do their spiel. Ask them why they are calling. Find out in the first 10 seconds.

3. I'm not interested. Slam.

[Loyalist]

Sometimes I let them go through their spiel, and then tell them a joke. I can't repeat the jokes here, since they would get me banned from FR. But boy, do they ever get them off the line fast.

[strela]

Sometimes I let them go through their spiel, and then tell them a joke.

If the punchline of the joke is '"Hey, look at the two ass****s on that camel!!",' I hold the copyright on it. Stop telling it immediately ;)

[Alas Babylon!]

I just got a call from someone representing the "Publishers". The dude told me as I was their best customer, they were going to give me an extra 60 months. Of what, I asked. You magazine subscriptions, he said. Which ones, I replied. All of them, he said. Dude, says I, do you realize just how many magazines I get? Tell me which ones. I can't he said, but I'll put you through to customer service, he says. No way, I told him, some of these magazines I just renewed. You did?, he says. Yup, says I. Which ones, he asks. I don't remember, I told him. But, if he mails me a list of all the magazines he thinks I need to renew, then he can mail it to me. Oh, and don't call me again unless you know just WHAT magazines I subscribe to.

I think it was a scam. If I had said yes, the bill would have topped $350!!!!

[goodnesswins]

When they ask for my husband....I tell them "He died." It works. They don't bother me again.....and my husband laughs.