[BunnySlippers]

I always say, "We're having a dinner party and we're all sitting down now. I can't talk" (click). If during the day I say, "I'm home sick from work and I'm soooo ill" (make sure you sound like you're running to the bathroom) .... (click).

I've not given a telemarketer more than 15 seconds in many years. Don't wait for them to reply, hang up.

[1stFreedom]

I recently fell for this. I knew I could cancel at any time before 30 days. When the literature came in the mail, it was basically internet service. The call was maily about being published in a business directory. Side benefits were one hour of legal and accounting advice per month. But it essentially turned out to be a web service and a website.

I immediately called customer service. Boy, they did EVERYTHING to get me not to cancel. 1/2 price, free this, free that. I told them that I didn't want to deal with this again later and I don't want any special rates on anything. The only thing I wanted was an immediate cancellation, a reference number, and the employees name. I got all this.

I then e-mailed customers service with this cancellation number, the name of the employee, and a request to cancel my service.

So far, I haven't seen any charges on my phone bill.

I'm usually very good with telemarketers, but this method caught me off guard. I figured, hey I get listed in a business directory, I can always cancel.

Then I realized later the old poetry scam, where you are solicited for your poems and are sold a published book. The catch is that the book is only sold to those who submitted poems!! The same with the business directory, what good is it to get listed in a book with a small distribution?

So, whenever a telemarketer calls, if it sounds interesting, simply say the following: "Please send me some literature" or better yet ask for a website so that you can get more information.

After getting their website, promptly ask them to you off of their telemarketing list. I usually do this and many are reluctant to send information. If it's really a deal, then a legitimate company would send you something before you decide.

[halley]

Once upon a time, tele-marketing wasn't all bad. I started with it part time 30 years ago... folks got 2 calls a year and were often happy to talk with you. If you were selling a good product at a good price, it wasn't bad at all. By the late 80's it was over. Everybody hated you, and you were hard pressed to hire any one who wasn't a flake or a felon.

Now, when I want to blow them off, I use one of two techniques. When they ask if I am Mr X, I'll sadly say, "No, Mr X took his own life about an hour ago." Alternately, I explain that Mr. X was taken away by Federal Marshalls about an hour ago. Both techniques get you right off the list. :)

[Arkinsaw]

I let them give their whole spiel and then when they ask if I am interested I say......"Huh? Whats this about?"

[RLK]

My standard answer. "This is a restricted line. No incoming calls will be taken without prior arrangement."

[OrthodoxPresbyterian]

I usually take the time to critique their sales technique.

"Stop, STOP! You're not gonna make any sales if you sound like a machine. Try a little voice inflection, the occasional Pause to establish anticipation... alright, let's take it from the top, this time with gusto!!"

Usually, they get flummoxed and hang up on me. Which is good for a chuckle.

[repubmom]

I try to say as quickly into their "speil" as possible before they can hang up, "Please put me on your do-not-call list." My son worked for MBNA (against our advice) and informed us that that is the wording to use that they have to "obey." He ended up hating his job, thus giving us some credibility in his 17 year old mind. We have also told callers that we make no purchases over the phone. If we want it, we'll go search it out ourselves.

[irishtenor]

I usually ask for their Visa or Mastercard number and explain that I charge $5 per minute to listen to sales pitches. Click.

[gaijin]

To ward off calls like this, you could:

Intone a very worried-sounding voice, and ask forebodingly if the caller knows how to get a large blood stains out of a carpet.

Gets a dial tone every time.

[Arkinsaw]

In a very deep cowboy voice say...."My momma ain't home right now. You are gonna have to talk to my momma. I'm only 13."

[FourPeas]

Recently Mr. FourPeas told one telemarketer that he was annoying and to put us on their do not call list. After he hung up, the guy called back again and started to get abusive. Hubby hung up again. The guy called back yet again and threatened him. Calls to the phone company, etc. were fruitless. The office that handles the violation is only open M-F office hours and they won't do anything if it happens at night or on the weekends.

[VetoBill]

Sometimes I get creative. Someone selling siding, I live in a brick home. Someone peddling phone plans, I do not have a phone (this one is really fun!)

I usually tell the caller I do not buy anything over the phone. One time I got a smart @ss who responded, "Yeah right how about pizza? You order pizza from a phone."

His answer might have worked expect I live in the boonies. The nearest pizza place is 45 miles away.

[strela]

I try to be creative with responses to telemarketers. A few years ago, I was receiving as many as 2 calls a day every day for a week from Arthur Murray Dance Studios. (Guess they were having trouble meeting their quota). Polite "no"s didn't work, being rude didn't work, hanging up didn't work. I finally told the lady telemarketer that I was a Vietnam veteran that used to be a professional ballroom dancer before losing both my legs to a land mine. I asked her in the most plaintive voice that I could feign, "Could I come down there and just ... watch other people dance?" The calls stopped.

(Yes, a thoroughly reprehensible story, and I'm a little ashamed of it. But it worked).

[SpinyNorman]

After finally fobbing off a very persistent lady telemarketer, bid her goodbye, and as I hung up, she, thinking she was off the line said under her breath, "boy this really sucks!" I was laughing my butt off!!!

[PatrioticAmerican]

Since colorado's do not call list went into affect, I don't get calls anymore, but I always said
"Just a minute...", and put the phone down.

[Arkinsaw]

Or, when they start talking just say "WHAT LEONARD? Speak up. I can't hear you Leonard. When are you going to visit me again Leonard. I am so lonely Leonard and you don't care.

[wideminded]

1. If you say hello once and you just hear background noise from a boiler room, hang up. Don't say hello a second time.

2. Don't wait for them to do their spiel. Ask them why they are calling. Find out in the first 10 seconds.

3. I'm not interested. Slam.

[Loyalist]

Sometimes I let them go through their spiel, and then tell them a joke. I can't repeat the jokes here, since they would get me banned from FR. But boy, do they ever get them off the line fast.

[Cultural Jihad]

You’ve been crammed, another victim of fast-talking telemarketers who are skirting the edges of telecommunications law to create a multimillion industry.

Sounds like those (self-righteously self-centered) Objectivist Titans of (selfish) society are busy creating redistributing wealth! Gubermint, get off their backs, now!

[uglybiker]

This guy knows how to deal with telemarketers.