The best of the worst country song titles

Minneapolis Star Tribune ^ | 4/25/03 | Mike Harden

[Uncle Sausage]

"She got the GOLD mine, I got the shaft".

She got the goldmine (She got the goldmine)

I got the shaft (I got the shaft)

They split it right down the middle

And then they give her the better half

Well, it all sounds sorta funny

But it hurts too much to laugh

She got the goldmine, I got the shaft

Written and sung by Jerry Reed

[T Ruth]

"They're Gonna Put a Freeway Through the Little Brown Shed Out Back"

Can't remember if this is the exact title, but its close.

[Uncle Sausage]

"Mama Hated Diesels So Bad" by Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen.

[gcruse]

I see what he means. Those are pretty crappy.

BTW, I'm Just Here to Get My Baby Out of Jail goes
back thirty or more years and is a very sweet song.

[Rabid Dog]

I think that is very funny!

[UCFRoadWarrior]

"Here's a Quarter, call someone who cares"

Was that the guy in the black hat?...can't think of his name.

---

Travis Tritt sings that one. He doesnt wear a hat...he has very long hair and a goatee

[artisan001]

Ian Tyson is one of my favorites.
His music is much better than the crap that passes for country down here in the US.
They don't even play him on the radio here.
Too cowboy, not mainstream enough for the goat ropers I guess.

[TruthWillWin]

- I Ain't Broke (But I'm Badly Bent)

Bill Clinton's theme song?

[RightField]

#11. "I'm Gonna Hire A Wineo To Decorate Our Home"

uh, I kinda like that song. Classic, in a lowdown sort of way.

[UCFRoadWarrior]

Here are some other ones:

"If Drinking Dont Kill Me (Her Memory Will)"

"I Was Country When Country Wasnt Cool"

"Designated Drinker" (Alan Jackson-George Strait duet on AJ's "Drive" CD)

"A Three Minute Positive Not Too Uptempo Country Song" (Another Alan Jackson song)

"She Just Started Liking Cheating Songs"

"I'd Lie To You For Your Love"

[RightField]

I don't know if this qualifies as country music, but how about Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother by Jerry Jeff Walker?

[RightField]

.... and a recent one: Mama's in the Graveyard, Papa's in the Pen

[SWake]

That's "Horse With No Name" by America. Dan Peek is now a "Christian" artist, and his lyrics aren't much better these days.

As far as bad C&W, there's always "Welfare Cadillac" (Uncle Donnie loved that one).

[FrankRizzo890]

That'd be Travis Tritt.. Saw him in person at a Journey Concert in the old Ryman Auditorium a few years back..

(He was in the crowd).

[Eagle Eye]

"You're Wanted by the Police and My Wife Thinks You're Dead"

(why I cain't see you anymore)

[Doomonyou]

"Drop kick me Jesus, through the goal posts of life".

Straight through the heart of those righteous uprights...

[farmfriend]

There's a tear in my beer
Created Duet, Hank Williams and Hank Williams Jr.

[Screaming_Gerbil]

Kissing You Goodbye
Waylon Jennings
_____


I've learned to turn the other cheek
Is not what love's about
I've turned mine so many times
That I damned near wore 'em out
I've grown used to your abuse
And I thought I'd never quit
But I woke up this morning
Couldn't find my shiv-a-git
You've always liked to play your games
Well I got one for you
Pretend we're playing checkers girl
And it's your time to move
You'll find your suitcase on the porch
And the taxi in the drive
Get your tongue out of my mouth
I'm kissing you goodbye

Verse 2:

I see you've finally made it home
You been out all night
Your artificial hair's a mess
And your clothes don't fit you right

I've given and forgiven
Till there ain't nothing left
But all you gave was just enough
To satisfy yourself

I can smell that whiskey in your hair
And sen-sen on your breath
If you ever tried to tell the truth
You'd choke yourself to death

I don't want your nasty kisses
And don't tell me no more lies
Get your tongue out of my mouth

I'm kissing you goodbye
Get your tongue out of my mouth
I'm kissing you goodbye

[Arthur McGowan]

"I'm Tired of Your Lying Lips and False Teeth."--Lurleen Lumpkin

[Marauder]

"B Double-E Double-R U N" - Garth Brooks and George Jones
"Chicken Truck" and "Just A-swinging" - John Anderson
"From the Gutter to You Ain't Up" - (unknown)
"If Today Was a Fish, I'd Throw it Back In" - (unknown.)