The best of the worst country song titles

Minneapolis Star Tribune ^ | 4/25/03 | Mike Harden

[Choose Ye This Day]

"i've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart"

Classic! I'm listening to the Man in Black his own bad self right now.

Also, "A boy Named Sue" would rank up there.

[des]

I love me some Dan Hicks.

[cowpoke]

"You said you were a virgin but your baby ain't named Jesus"

[DainBramage]

lol

[Maceman]

Take My Love and Shove it up Your Heart.

[Alberta's Child]

Ian Tyson is the man. A real cattle rancher these days, too.

[LonePalm]

"My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus." - Jimmy Buffett
"Please Bypass this Heart" - Jimmy Buffett
"Why Don't We Get Drunk (and Screw)" - Jimmy Buffett
"Smart Woman (in a real short skirt)" - Jimmy Buffett
"If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me" - Jimmy Buffett

Album Name
"A White Sport and a Pink Crustacean" - Jimmy Buffett

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[gitmo]

Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.

[SFConservative]

Here's a list of real bad ones and some clever ones that you all can pick your favorites from:

Do You Love As Good As You Look?
Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?
Heaven's Just A Sin Away
Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me
Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares.
How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33?
I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy
I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It
I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine
I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal
I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
I Meant Every Word That He Said
I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out Of Town
I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me, Her Memory Will
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
If I Said You had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?
If It's Got To Be Later, How 'Bout Later Tonight?
If She Puts Lipstick On My Dipstick, I'll Fall In Love
If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
If Whiskey Were A Woman, I'd Be Married For Sure.
If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There)
Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him
I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue
I'm Havin' Daydreams About Night Things In The Middle Of The Afternoon
I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
I'm Not Married But The Wife Is
I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad
It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' to Me
It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long
I've Got Four On The Floor And A Fifth Under The Seat
I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies And I'm Blue All The Time
I've Got Tears In My Eyes From Lying On My Back In My Bed While I Cry Over You
I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
Learning To Live Again Without You Is Killing Me
May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose
My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
Oh, Lord! It's Hard To Be Humble When You're Perfect In Every Way
Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed
Please Bypass This Heart
She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without
Swing Wide Your Gate Of Love
Tennis Must Be Your Racket 'Cause Love Means Nothin' To You
The Last Word In Lonesome Is "Me"
Touch Me With More Than Your Hands
What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made A Loser Out Of Me)
When We Get Back To The Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)
Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes?
You Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play
You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me
You're A Cross I Can't Bear

[i are a cowboy]

There is that Neil Diamond classic:"Your So Sweet Horseflies
Keep Hangin Round Your Face". It's on Neil Diamond Live.

[groanup]

That favorite country Christmas classic:

"Who Put the D**k on the Snowman?"

[19th LA Inf]

Oldie from the 30s: "Wish I'd bought a half a pint and stayed in the wagon yard"

[artisan001]

Yes, I hear he raises cutting horses too.
He does have a very loyal following among ranchers and farmers. Most of the people who I have introduced to his music like it.
He has a great voice, and there is a depth to his lyrics.

Wish there were more like him.