Americans Marry Russian Women. What For?

Pravda ^ | April 29, 2003 | Olga Blagodarova

[WaterDragon]

American men use Russian women for self-affirmation. The latter seem to be liking this fact

Marriages between Russian women and American men are very successful and harmonious, Olga Makhovskaya, the senior research assistant at the Psychology Institute in Russia's Academy of Sciences says. When an American man switches from the model of American family where husband and wife are partners equal in rights to the model of an Orthodox family, he thus raises his own significance. In Orthodox families men are given more authority and are more respected. It is certainly an advantage for a man and raises his social and psychological status. In a word, American men seem to have tired of the feminism propagated by American women, and it is frequent that they seek Russian women to start families.

Russian wives in America give up the traditional model of the Russian Orthodox family which relieves them of a heavy burden of responsibility and gives a chance to have a normal life in a family where the range of responsibilities is more definite for them: children, family affairs and housekeeping. At that, Russian women enjoy more attention and support from husbands.

As psychologists say, now Russian men undervalue the essence of family. The whole of the burden, housekeeping, upbringing of children, earning of money are shifted onto women. And, at the time when Russian women have so much responsibilities, their husbands spend their time dozing in front of TV sets in desperate attempts to find out the meaning of life and to understand the truth of the universe. They merely disregard everyday problems that are essential for their families as they consider the above mentioned idle thinking to be of higher importance.

That is why, as Olga Makhovskaya thinks relations in families between Russian and American partners are more harmonious. Each party gets what it wants to have. Husbands get authority and status, and wives are given, in exchange, peace in family and well-being. "Families of this kind where husbands are Americans and women are Russians prove to be long-living, as the roles in the family are clearly distributed and the mechanism operates good, although these are mixed families. In such families each of the couple is ready to make concessions and on the whole, wonderfully performs the role."

In addition, as researches held by Olga Makhovskaya reveal, marriages between Chinese men and Russian women are also very successful. ?There are tens of thousands of such marriages in Russia's Primorye region in the Far East. Chinese men are hard-working, they don't abuse in alcohol drinking and bring their wages home. In a word, they have lots of advantages by contrast with Russian men." It is sad, but the researches don't mention for whom Russian men suit wonderfully.

[Skywalk]

Not sure where you're getting liberal instincts--wouldn't that more accurately describe Western women? That's just way out in left field, so I'm not seeing the source for your thoughts on this.

As for any deep love? Again--I've had women who've had deep love and maybe moderate love for me. It's gotten me squat, thus far. Also, I think that we all tend to extrapolate from our personal experience of "hearing things." How do you know that in certain cases, there isn't deep love? It hasn't always taken me years on years to form a loving bond with someone. this guy doesn't sound THAT much different than your average divorcee--his mistake was letting her talk him into bringing family over. Also, no man should be so deluded as to bring a 19 year old woman over when he is 45 and think that it's a lock cinch. Do you know the statistics? I wouldn't be so confident because you've seen some bad cases(how many have you seen by the way, I imagine more than I have, although I may not have known when I saw them)


Does a woman give a guy who makes significantly less than her a CHANCE To love and be loved? Doubtful. Yet a man would marry a woman who swept floors, as long as she was passably attractive and had a good nature(and depending on the man if she was intellectually curious or enjoyed movies or music---you know those other elements)

The fact is, marriage is a waystation for most women. The vast majority of women "marry up." That means the guy sweeping floors, no matter how much philosophy he reads or how kind he is, is relegated to only the women who make less than he does and come from the same lower social strata. There is a phenomenon in America called "Starter marriage" now. We can excuse it all we want, but marriage is already impermanent but often for no real solid reason.

But your last paragraph is yet more of the indirect insulting of men who may merely not want to be alone or forsaken on a whim. These guys, with only some exceptions, are not merely looking for someone to be "Dependent" on them for their "future." They may be looking to be traditional providers, hardly a sin. They may be looking for a woman who is not trying to compete with him professionally or economically--again, not a sin. They may want someone who will stay home and not whine when she has to make food, as opposed to many women who will stay home then bitch to the husband about how he needs to now help with the housework.

Again, maybe these guys are lonely? Maybe they don't want to settle for whoever will divorce them the quickest? Maybe they don't like certain cultural attitudes here? It COULD be that, you know.

[macrahanish #1]

I don't think my wife would approve of that.

[Centurion2000]

"Divorce rate for American man to american woman marriages : 50+%

Divorce rate for American man to Russian Women : 20%"

Proof please

THE "MAIL-ORDER BRIDE" INDUSTRY AND ITS IMPACT ON U.S. IMMIGRATION

Robert J. Scholes, PhD with the assistance of Anchalee Phataralaoha, MA

This research was funded under purchase order COW-8-P-0233 from the Immigration and Naturalization Service. The analyses and conclusions presented do not necessarily represent the official position or policy of the Immigration and Naturalization Service.

Impact on U.S. Marriages

EXCERPT

According to data supplied by the U.S. Census Bureau, there were 2,395,000 marriages in the U.S. in the 12 months ending June, 1997 (and 1,154,000 divorces in the same period). The 4,000 to 6,000 marriages involving international services represent, then, a tiny portion (.021 percent) of the women who marry U.S. men.

It is interesting to note that, based largely on data provided by the agencies themselves (along with the Commission on Filipinos Overseas report cited above), marriages arranged through these services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available.

[nmh]

LOL!

We know a really nice guy who married a Jewish woman from Russia - yeah mail order style. When she got over her, and got her citizenship, she quickly got pregnant and had the child. The guy loves his little girl. It's been nearly two years of marriage and a baby girl and now she is filing for divorce because of unreoncicable differences. He had no clue. She simply moved out and he got the paperwork. She will NOT speak to him and directs questions to his attorney.

Yeah, those foreign marriages are working out beautifully.

[jslade]

Where do you think the word "caucasian" comes from?

[ladyjane]

Once they get their two feet in the U.S.A. and they become Americanized, you are history Daddy-o.

I've seen that happen. Note to guy: keep passports and immigration papers in safe deposit box along with those 'pictures' you took on your honeymoon.

[ladyjane]

After 5 years ...Divorce rate for American man to Russian Women : 20%

How many years does the marriage have to last so the Russian woman can stay in this country? seven, eight?

[rintense]

Thank you for stereotyping all American women. Is this where I call you pig?

[Centurion2000]

Not all, just a lot. Decent american women exist (many freepettes), but they are far too rare to be just encountered, and most of them are taken already.

[Centurion2000]

How many years does the marriage have to last so the Russian woman can stay in this country? seven, eight?

After two years her green card goes to from conditional to unconditional permanent resident.

[Jimmy Valentine]

If you don't mind me saying you eat bacon ;)

[rintense]

HA! Surprisingly, I gave up all pork years ago.

[Freebird Forever]

4. I caution those of you inclined to get a Russian bride to consider the cultural differences. Russians don't think like we Americans and in order to have peace you will have to make accomodations.

I'd appreciate it if you could expand on this thought.

Thanks

[Sapirit]

Very well explains it this "phenomena":

"Of the 30 mail-order bride couples Mila Glodava (Glodava and Onizuka, 1994) encountered between 1986 and 1993, only two were close in age (4 -6 years difference). In the other 28 there was a 20 to 50 year difference in age. Older men, says Glodava, often want women "they can mold" and therefore do not want those who are too educated. "They would just become like any other American woman," they said. She concludes that, "It is apparent that power and control are critical for the men."

this is from
http://uscis.gov/graphics/aboutus/repsstudies/mobappa.htm
(someone posted this URL already)

[dougherty]

Most of those men wanting a foreign bride through Internet or from foreign bars are losers who in their delusions think they are quite a hunk.

True. I know a guy that has a Russian wife he met through one of those Russian websites. When he first went over there he slept with about five or six of them including the one he ended up marrying. Last week I was flipping through the tv channels and came across a program on these relationships. It was hilarious seeing some of these older, ugly, pudgy guys with these young pretty Russian women. These girls must be very hard up as some of these lecherous old buzzards were obviously on the prowl for a piece of you-know-what. One of the men seemed pretty decent and he did end up marrying a Russian woman. She seemed pretty materialistic though but in return he was kinda domineering to her. More like a father than a husband. Another guy got ripped off by some Russian woman. All in all it was a sad spectacle.

[dougherty]

Fortunately, not all American women are feminazis.

No, they're not. Hell, I haven't come across one in quite awhile. The guys here that speak so negatively of American women need to take a long look at themselves as that's more than likely the reason they have so many negative experiences. Blaming it all on American women is a cop-out.

[Robert Teesdale]

And the thing that irritates me the most about a certain type of woman control freak, is her constant discontent and depression that she makes some poor dope responsible to fix for her while she makes it her business to make that a mission impossible and never good enough.

Just reading that is enough to send me screaming into the night.

[CajunConservative]

Fortunately, not all American women are feminazis.

No, they're not. Hell, I haven't come across one in quite awhile. The guys here that speak so negatively of American women need to take a long look at themselves as that's more than likely the reason they have so many negative experiences. Blaming it all on American women is a cop-out.

Thanks for sticking up for us ladies here. I know most of my friends are wonderful conservative, traditional, moral, well educated, thoughtful and caring. Most conservative women are quiet and reserved by nature and don't care to draw so much attention to themselves by behaving or dressing like the feminazis or sluts.

Oh and what some men don't seem to realize is that you won't find a decent lady with morals and values in the current bar scene. If you go to a dump to pick a mate you will end up with a piece of trash.

[Truthsayer20]

"Most of those men wanting a foreign bride through Internet or from foreign bars are losers who in their delusions think they are quite a hunk."

Bingo.

[snowstorm12]

I watched a show about russian brides on A&E I think. The two guys they followed were over 40 and the one was divorced 3 times. The divorced one really liked this 31 year old but she didn't speak much english and didn't like him at all. I think she was expecting wealthy handsome American actor. She kept saying "too soon" "too soon" LOL over and over or something similar when he was asking her when she would come to America. He gave her 500 dollars and when he got back to america she only emailed him once and then he never heard back from her again. Then he found another girl who spoke much better english and he had the same pushy routine with this new girl who was 33 and had a daughter. She wasn't as good looking but he was happy because this lady was one of the few that was interested and they got married and all was going well. The other dude met a 30 something and he was really disgusted with russia. I thought he was rude and was really controlling and had a nasty attitude. This girl had a son and she was saying how she needed to get out of Russia because her son will need to go into the military and many get killed. He got her to come to America and then he proposed because they only had 30 days before she had to go back. He was a nag and nagged at the way she cooked, her driving skills, her son and other things. The woman seemed like she was getting fed up with his mouth and was looking for a job. She had some sass to her so I don't think she will be putting up with his B.S. for too long. I was really shocked at how much money these guys were willingly to dish out for possible marriage and how quickly they wanted to marry these ladies because they didn't speak much english. I thought the whole thing was pretty crazy.

Once a woman becomes an American woman she reevaluates her market value and value among American men and other opportunities.