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The Violent Reality of Lovin' and Leavin'
Concerned Women of America ^
| Kathryn Hooks
Posted on 06/14/2003 6:17:30 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Study shows marriage is the safest place for women and children
"Love em and leave em" the old saying goes. The new power women of the 90s from Charlies Angels to the working women of HBOs Sex in the City jump in and out of bed with the hot man of the moment, no strings attached, before proceeding to conquer the world. Women like Rachel, the independent single mom, on the popular sitcom Friends, choose not to marry the father, but rather strive to prove they can make it on their own. According to the typical script, they all live happy, secure lives without having to commit or depend on a man. Indeed, a popular prime time refrain is Who needs a man?
Does Hollywood know reality?
As cohabitation and one-night stands become more prevalent and the institution of marriage loses validity, women may believe that their freedom gives them more power, but ironically they are endangering themselves and subjecting their children to a vicious cycle of abuse. A 1995 U.S. Department of Justice study showed that women were the victims of more than 4.5 million violent crimes, and intimate partners committed 29 percent of single offender crimes.
According to a study conducted by the Heritage Foundation in 2002, marriage offers the best protection against violence toward women and children.
Mothers who have never been married experience domestic violence at more than twice the rate of mothers who have been or currently are married.
Never-married mothers also suffer from violent crime at three times the rate of mothers who have ever been married.
When a mother cohabitates, a child is 33 times more likely to experience serious abuse and 73 times more likely to suffer fatal abuse than a child with married parents.
A Heritage Foundation study in 1997 found that due to the disintegration of the family and community, about 2,000 of America's infants and young children 6 per day die each year.
This is reality.
Feminists claim women and mothers of the 21st century can do equally well for themselves and their children without a legal relationship with a man. They argue that while a binding relationship like marriage may work for some women, society has no business promoting such a personal choice.
Should society get involved?
The institution of marriage represents more than a private, individual choice. The deterioration of marriage affects the safety of women and children, indeed, all of society, by creating a violent cycle trapping generation after generation.
A recent study by the Institute for Youth Development shows child victimization as the leading risk factor in juvenile violence. Thus, violence breeds violence. The National Youth Violence Resource Center reported that children who encounter domestic violence are more likely to attempt suicide, abuse drugs and alcohol, and commit sexual assault crimes. In 1996 a study by the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family estimated that 3.3 million children witness the abuse of their mother or female caretaker. The research noted the cycle of violence and its impact on society: "[The process of violence] begins in the family, expanding through the culture of the larger society in which children grow and mature, and then again is reinforced or discouraged in the family."
Thus, a single mothers decision to cohabitate not only increases her odds of experiencing domestic abuse and violent crime, but also increases her childs risk of suffering abuse and falling captive to the cycle of abuse leading to juvenile violence.
Marriage represents the foundation of the family, and its role in society should not be taken lightly. The IYD study found that children living with two biological parents are at a lower risk for engaging in sex; cigarette, alcohol, and marijuana use; and physical fighting. Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Conner recognized the value of the family: "The family unit plays a critical role in our society and in the training of the generation to come." Each generation is trained and raised by the values passed down to them influencing their role in society, and children learn violence as they learn morals. Therefore, pro-marriage policies that strengthen the family protect women and children from abuse and defend society from a cycle of violence.
Dr. Janice Shaw Crouse, Senior Fellow of the Beverly LaHaye Institute and an authority on womens issues, said, The argument that pushing women toward marriage could lead to violence collapses under the research. While there are horrible and lamentable exceptions that must be addressed, the research is unequivocal, marriage is the safest place for women and children.
Feminists and the Hollywood media portray women who want marriage and a family as having what they call a "patriarchal sexist mentality." However, real "girl power" goes far beyond the delusional game of serial sex and self-indulgent liberation.
Even feminist Gloria Steinem, who married for the first time after age 60, discovered "being married is like having somebody permanently in your corner, it feels limitless, not limited."
TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Extended News; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: catholiclist; children; culture; cwa; family; feminism; gloriasteinem; marriage; society; traditionalvalues; women
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Marriage is the best way to raise children.
Think about it, you are three years old, would you rather have just mom on your side? Or just dad?
Or would you rather have both of them working as a team on your behalf?
posted on 06/14/2003 6:24:52 PM PDT
(MOAB, the greatest advance in Foreign Relations since the cat-o'-nine-tails!)
""Love em and leave em" the old saying goes"
Well, no. It actually involves a bunch of 'f's.
posted on 06/14/2003 6:28:54 PM PDT
(Superstition is a mind in chains.)
It is amazing, how it takes so much research to confirm the obvious. (((shaking head)))
Does Hollywood know reality? As cohabitation and one-night stands become more prevalent and the institution of marriage loses validity, women may believe that their freedom gives them more power, but ironically they are endangering themselves and subjecting their children to a vicious cycle of abuse. A 1995 U.S. Department of Justice study showed that women were the victims of more than 4.5 million violent crimes, and intimate partners committed 29 percent of single offender crimes.
The problem is that the free-wheeling life styles being solf by Hollywood, Madison Avenue, by even recent presidents, by Playboy, by Cosmopolitan and so dominent in the psychological environment that people doubt the realities instead of the mistruth being sold to them.
posted on 06/14/2003 6:58:29 PM PDT
**Marriage represents the foundation of the family, and its role in society should not be taken lightly. The IYD study found that children living with two biological parents are at a lower risk for engaging in sex; cigarette, alcohol, and marijuana use; and physical fighting.**
I have been saying for the last 20 or so years that the cause of all the anger is parents leaving the kids in child care centers. Too bad when married couples make that choice, but with single parents, there really isn't a choice unless there's a wonderful grandparent nearby.
posted on 06/14/2003 7:34:09 PM PDT
(†With God all things are possible.†)
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posted on 06/14/2003 7:44:29 PM PDT
(†With God all things are possible.†)
What was that Hollywood movie with Shelley Long and Ryan O'Neal being "divorced" by their daughter, Drew Barrymore? Was it "Irreconciliable Differences?" I loved the scene where the little girl is speaking more Spanish than English because she's being raised by the Mexican maid. That's probably pretty close to reality for Hollywood children.
posted on 06/14/2003 7:46:01 PM PDT
(Let them eat cake.)
Oh you old fogey. Don't ya know their "liberated". Look at all the benefits. These are intelligent women that are lining up in droves for an alternate lifestyle.
Have a Happy Father's Day! That is if one of these "liberated" women haven't ran off with your children or murdered them in the womb.
posted on 06/14/2003 7:48:34 PM PDT
God knows best, it's one of the first things He did after creating Adam and Eve; initiated and instituted the Marriage Covenant.
posted on 06/14/2003 7:58:15 PM PDT
(God is Pro Life and Straight http://www.freerepublic.com/perl/notify?detach=1)
Good stuff. Rockford Institute (Family in America) published similar numbers/studies around 15 years ago.
Since the numbers haven't changed, that means they are valid. No surprise.
posted on 06/14/2003 8:02:22 PM PDT
(Joe McCarthy was RIGHT, but Drank Too Much)
This article suffers from the classic correllation/causation fallacy.
Childbirth out of wedlock, and cohabitation thereafter with the father (or with some other man) are, in the United States, massively correllative with poverty and with residing in the most downtrodden of inner cities and trailer parks. "Murphy Brown" and "Miranda Hobbes" just don't exist in meaningful number in the real world.
Crime and abuse of all sorts occur with greater frequency in those places, and to those people, regardless of whether or not they're married, or when they marry. And, even in the same hard-off communities and reduced economic circumstances, it is difficult to make an accurate analysis, since the kind of people who marry before they have kids are markedly different BEFORE they make those decisions in terms of religious, eductational, and social orientations from their neighbors who don't make that decision.
(It's the same fallacy, of course, that leads people to assert that cohabitation before marriage "causes" higher rates of divorce, when, of course, the statistics prove only that the sort of people who are reluctant to cohabitate are the same sort of people who are reluctant to divorce.)
This is isn't to say that I don't think marriage has its benefits, or approve of people raising families out of wedlock (I don't!), just that this study doesn't prove that, all else equal, marrying at a particular time has a positive effect upon the outcomes of particular individuals.
Did this article mention a higher risk of sexual abuse, or did I just miss it? I saw that the kids were more likely to commit those crimes, but not to have them perpetrated on them. I'd like to see what the increased correlation is, since I know several of my friends growing up were sexually abused by live-ins and step-dads. Out of five friends who were sexually abused (that told me about it), only one was by her natural father (divorced) and the rest were live-ins and a step-dad. It seemed to me like there was a much greater chance of sexual abuse if the parents were divorced and there was a new guy in town. Does anyone know if this can be backed up by research? It's a sad thing to think about.
Not saying steps and boyfriends can't be really great people, just saying I knew about a few who were and a few who weren't.
..jump in and out of bed with the hot man of the moment, no strings attached
Sure. Ever hear of STDs? How about cervical cancer?
I was recently talking with a man who analyzed the results from microscopic inspection of PAP smear slides. He said a college town down the road had a disproportionate number of abnormal results. The reason? He believes it was the result of multiple sexual partners.
Its a funny thing about the Bible. Follow it, and things may or not turn out as you hoped. Ignore it and you may be in for things that no one could have foreseen.
posted on 06/14/2003 9:18:08 PM PDT
(A Human Shield against the onslaught of Leftist tripe.)
<... a man who analyzed the results from microscopic inspection of PAP smear slides. ...said a college town down the road had a disproportionate number of abnormal results. The reason? He believes it was the result of multiple sexual partners.
this may have some validity. my own anecdotal evidence is working in the ob-gyn office of a major east coast city university hospital >15 years ago. the nurses said that the patients in the clinic (generally on welfare) were exhibiting diseases and disfunctions as teenagers that the staff normally didn't see until women were in their 40s. there was a big difference in the presentations of the private patients (w/jobs and insurance) and those in the clinic.
pls note- i am not saying that people w/o insurance or jobs (i have been both) are prone to any specific type of behavior. i am saying that, in this instance, the chronically poor, on welfare, exhibited many diseases at a young age.
Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Conner recognized the value of the family: "The family unit plays a critical role in our society and in the training of the generation to come." Each generation is trained and raised by the values passed down to them influencing their role in society, and children learn violence as they learn morals. Therefore, pro-marriage policies that strengthen the family protect women and children from abuse and defend society from a cycle of violence.
This is very true and bears repeating over and over.
To quote Gomer Pyle: "SurPRISE, surPRISE, surPRISE."
posted on 06/14/2003 10:36:41 PM PDT
(Fides quaerens intellectum.)
"my own anecdotal evidence is"
Oh, that's not anecdotal evidence. That's observation by an intelligent observer.
The term "anecdotal evidence" is just a way of discounting anything that wasn't funded by a grant from a liberal source to a liberal researcher who designed his experiment to produce results that support the liberal agenda.
posted on 06/14/2003 10:36:55 PM PDT
There's a country song in here somewhere.
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