Disney fini? Don't take the Mickey

telegraph online ^ | 25/08/2003 | unknown

[dogbrain]

The French have never liked Disneyland Paris, blaming it for a host of cultural ills. But, as they relish its current financial woes, Philip Delves Broughton, who spent a day there with his family, says it's worth every euro

Europe's "cultural Chernobyl", as one French critic called Disneyland Paris, is in meltdown again. Falling attendance, overspending on a new movie-themed park and those cursed terrorists are to blame. This month, it announced it would have trouble repaying its banks and the doomsayers are predicting bankruptcy.

Small world: Disneyland Paris aims to bring the famous formula to Europe For those who think Disneyland Paris has never been anything but a Trojan horse pouring toxic American culture over Europe, its woes will be a source of pleasure. French families who happily turn over their euros to visit the moronic Parc Asterix north of Paris, but snobbishly spurn Disney, will be delighted. Shame on them all.

It is clear by now that France never deserved Disneyland. It has never embraced it. Politicians and intellectuals still hold it up as an exemplar of the debased American culture.

Jean Baudrillard, the country's pre-eminent philosopher, wrote a book recently in which he ranted about "Disneyisation" and the "Disney Connection" of global corporations moulding the world into a single image. Disneyland is an easy target for politicians such as the former minister and presidential candidate Jean-Pierre Chevenement, who calls it a setting for "mass schizophrenia".

But the French are hypocrites.....

[dogbrain]

Ed Prior, a father from South Carolina, had unleashed his three children on the park in the middle of a two-week trip. "We're getting a few hours away from all that France," he said, waving his hand at the world beyond the park.

[longtermmemmory]

Euro Disney only had one problem from the begining: France.

The idiot who chose france as the location, then agreed to french as the dominant language was a marketing eeeeediot. The struggles of eurodisney has proven me right. This park would have these problems no mater what was going on in the real world.

[ken5050]

Watch..the Saudis will buy it up in bankruptcy, and turn the whole place into a huge mosque and Islamic culture center, with a Jerry Lewis museum, to attract the french..

[GOPrincess]

I've always thought they should have chosen Spain for Euro Disney...good weather and I think it would have been far more welcome there.

[Gil4]

After four hours at Disneyland, we were still waiting to see Mickey, who, incidentally, turns 75 this year. "Ou est le souris?" I asked. "La souris," he shot back. "Souris is feminine. I will find him for you."

That explain a lot about Mickey's voice, but it still doesn't explain why Mickey wears pants but no shirt while Donald wears a shirt but no pants. Enquiring minds want to know...

[dogbrain]

I've been to Disney World more times than I care to admit.
Fortunately, I've only had to pay admission once.

The one saving grace of Epcot is that you can get beer, or a margaritas, or wine, which helps put things in perspective.
Great place to watch people.

[sasafras]

Disney has another problem - embracing the deviant/perverted/liberal social agenda. Families with values need to stop supporting Disney - they are a corporation with corrupt values.

[Porterville]

I'm sick of Disneyland here too... don't they own stock in some porn company now??? And when I flipp by the Disney Channel I am amazed at what Disney considers okay for kids on some of their shows.... and I won't talk about the gay day issue.... burn Disney burn, don't come home.

[SoCal Pubbie]

I believe that a site in Spain was indeed in the running during the planning stages. I'd guess the decision to place it in France was to be more centrally located in Europe, but everything about the place they picked, including the weather, was bad.

[ChicagoRepublican]

Theme parks aren't fit for Europe as it is.

[Jhensy]

This is the one thing the French have absolutely right. The Hollywood/Disney-fication of all cultures, especially our own, is to be fought at every step.

I root for EuroDisney to collapse miserably.

[Lord_Baltar]

longterm, I hate to agree with you on this, but you do speak the truth.

As a former Mouse Minion, who was involved in the design of Euro Disney, I can tell you first hand, it was no cakewalk putting that Albatros together.

The first gigantic hurdle was that blasted Castle. Now, it's one thing to put a Castle in the middle of Anaheim, Orlando, or even Tokyo, but how does one compete with a castle design in a country with Castles just about everywhere.

Add to that the issue of Alcohol being served. The French drink wine with EVERY meal, and some numb skull at Corporate decided that they were going to try and continue the "No Alcohol" policy within Euro Disney. Trust me, I was there on opening day, I thought the natives were going to revolt.

Thankfully, that MBA Moron was quickly over ruled, and within a short time, the wine flowed on main street.

If you knew of all the other issues, most of them wrought by MBA types thinking they had even the beginnings of a clue about what makes a Theme park something special. IMHO, that's what's wrong with most of the new Disney attractions. You end up with a room full of self agrandised MBAs all fighting with each other over the best way to shove as many "guests" through a que line, and almost no discussion at all about what would make it a more enjoyable experience.

Wait til you get a load of Hong Kong Disneyland. Think "Disney's Greatest Hits", a collection of off the shelf attractions strung together in a place where the average yearly income is less than the admission to this festering monument to Business School Ethics...

I won't even get into the Corporate "Moron Think" that went into creating California Adventure for the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim... bleeech

[dogbrain]

more on Disney...

[Liz]

I won't even get into the Corporate "Moron Think" that went into creating California Adventure for the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim...

Come on, out with it. It's not often we get to hear inside stuff about the Eisnerbots in action.

[VeniVidiVici]

Dead on! Spain or Portugal should have been the location. Whoever decided on France was probably half in the bag at the time.

[dogbrain]

I'm not sure if going to Euro-Disney to get away from France
would be any better than going to France to get away from Euro-Disney.

I don't want to think about standing in long lines, and being stuffed into tight quarters anywhere NEAR France.

It would probably give a whole new meaning to "It's a small world"...

[dogbrain]

YEAH!

Let's hear some inside info. on the rat-run people-trap...

[Mr. Quarterpanel]

Dead on! Spain or Portugal should have been the location.

Errr.....no.

During the summer, it is like 400 degrees in Spain. The entire country shuts down in the afternoon, until after it cools down at night. While I think that it was a major mistake to select France, Spain would have been worse.

[dogbrain]

"...400 degrees in Spain..."

Yeah, but is that ⁰C or ⁰F?

[Lord_Baltar]

:) Liz;

Well, there are some prime examples with DCA (Disney's California Adventure) of exactly WHY the whole "Well, I've got my MBA" line is just so much nonsense.

When Disneyland was designed, Walt made certain that Artists and Designers were given authority over the "business types". He never trusted them, simply because their desire was NEVER focused on improving the Guest's experience, but wholly on the idea of the bottom line.

With DCA, this was apparent.

Artists and Designers were looked at like pests and annoyances, and it shows in just about every square foot of that park.

They cut so many corners, the park's logo should be a perfect circle.

Originally, the designs were stunning. It would have been spectacular. Then the planning meetings started. Enter the Accountants, and Business School Geeks.

I mean, don't get me wrong, Business type have their place, but in an area like Entertainment or Theme Parks, special Dungeons need to be built to house these Morons. I was appalled by the nickle and diming these guys pushed for. If the General Public had even the beginnings of a clue just exactly how badly that park went from Crown Jewels to Catbox liner, they'd never pay to get in there.

I was in one planning meeting where they were discussing "Paradise Pier" the area with the Roller coaster (That and the "Soarin over California" ride are literally the only things in that park worth a damn). The Business Idiots sat their on their self built thrones and demanded that for every Ride, there needed to be at least 3 venues to sell Stuffed animals and T-shirts. Well, that resulted in the elimination of a number of rides. Keep in mind, a Ride Building has a larger footprint than a "store". So, what did the MBAs decide then, "Well, now we can have more stores and restaurants".

The Imagineers were faced with an impossible task, try to make this smoldering turd into something that didn't reveal what happens when you put the Business types in charge of anything other than a calculator and a pencil sharpener.

Unfortunetly, it shows.

One glaring example is a Ride I worked on called "Superstar Limo" Originally, this ride would have been kinda cool, albeit more for the younger crowd. Add to this thing Budget cuts, Princess Diana's car crash, and a whole slew of MORONS from the Corporate tower insisting on stuffing this thing to the brim with cheap (expensive, budget draining, constantly changing) plugs for their ABC Drek.

What came out of this MBA Gangbang, was the sloooooooooooooowest ride in Disney History. Small World was a High Speed Thrill Ride by compairison. It's original story gone, replaced by glorified 3D puppets of some stupid looking "Agent", this thing simply stank. It was an embarassment.

I had the unique opportunity, on one of the preview days (Days when they open the park for the employees, before it's opened to the General Public or the press). I was in the que line right behind Michael Eisner and his entorage.

When we were exiting this now closed ride, I heard Michael Eisner commenting on what a piece of crap it was.

Go figure, months earlier, we had a virtual parade of Butt Kissing MBAs blowing smoke up the Suit's skirts about how wonderful this ride was going to be, and how many "guests" could be cattled through it in an hour...

Do I sound bitter? Well, I think the biggest curse to befall the House of Walt isn't what most people think it to be. After having seen it in action, it's my honest opinion it was the MBA/Accountant types that have deluded themselves into believing that they have even the spark of a clue what is Entertaining. Artists, whether you like them or not, are the ones that drove the Disney Ship in the early years. Walt was always first and foremost an Artist, albeit, even by his own admission, not the best one on the planet. He surrounded himself with the best Artists he could find, and their work can be seen in every square foot of the Magic Kingdom. His brother Roy, was the Business man, and he, while driving the finacial portion of the company, was always 2nd to Walt.

Now days, the Disney culture is Business types and Lawyers. Sadly, one month after Michael Eisner publicly announced that there would be no layoffs because of 9/11, 4000 people, Companywide, were "downsized". With additional thousands in the following months. As you can imagine, surprisingly, very few "Business Types" faced that axe, the vast number were Artists and Creative Types, fairly well gutting Walt's "Magic Lab" Imagineering.