Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Ebola Monkey Man: Pissing off Nigerian 419 Scammers One At a Time
http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/index.html ^ | various

Posted on 08/27/2003 9:55:20 AM PDT by lowbridge

ATTENTION: This site is dedicated to all the hardworking people who have either been scammed or annoyed by a Nigerian 419 Scam Artist. My intention is not to offend anyone. OK, that's a lie. My intention is to offend anyone who will sink low enough to take advantage of a hard working person. I love all people, except those that cause pain. If you are not a scammer and find this page offensive, use your head and please do not add it to your favorites section. Oh, and relax, it's all in good fun.

WARNING!!!! SOME OF THESE SCAMS CONTAIN HARSH LANGUAGE AND EXPLICIT PHOTOS!



TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: letters; nigerianscam; scam
The next time you run up agaisnt one of these scam letters, dont delete them. Have a little fun with them! (and send them in to that site) :-)

http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/index.html

1 posted on 08/27/2003 9:55:21 AM PDT by lowbridge
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
This is the letter that I use to respond to the Nigerian scam artists.

Dear Mr. Abacha:

You have uplifted my self-esteem with your honorable letter. However, the risks of your proposition are great, requiring me to charge a 40% handling fee in order to process the sum of which you speak.

As you know, the Trilateralists, Herman's Hermits, the Elders of Zion, and the Council on Foreign Relations are conspiring with The Man to keep Nigerians in their place. Thus, the danger for me is great. I do not wish to run afoul the guns of Yosemite Sam in this endeavour.

You can repose great confidence in me because I have experience in such transactions. For the past seven years, I have held in safekeeping a large gold cross given to me by my grandfather, William Jennings Bryan.

I am glad that you have done your homework and created a way for us to mutually benefit from the death of your father. With the exception of taxing Californians through the repeal of Proposition 13, there is nothing that I like better than to profit off of dead relatives.

Here is the information that you require to complete our transaction without sinking ships.

Warren E. Buffett
BERKSHIRE HATHAWAY INC.
1440 Kiewit Plaza
Omaha, NE 68131
USA
Phone/Fax (800) 786-6426

Give my regards to Abbas. Ask him if he has any wives that he can sell to me. I have some fine cattle and Pokemon cards that I wish to trade.

Insincerely,

W.E.B.
2 posted on 08/27/2003 9:59:07 AM PDT by Young Rhino (Does God wear a tinfoil hat? Is He a member of the CFR and Trilateral Commission?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
I haven't run into any bad language yet, but this is hilarious! I'm only to Oct. 23rd.
3 posted on 08/27/2003 10:01:48 AM PDT by scott7278 ("If I'm not back by dawn -- call the president.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
read later
4 posted on 08/27/2003 10:19:22 AM PDT by LiteKeeper
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
bump
5 posted on 08/27/2003 10:21:10 AM PDT by tom paine 2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
I set up a special email account on Yahoo to reply to these idiots. It's in the name of Kania Ripmiov. I claim it's a traditional Russian name.
6 posted on 08/27/2003 10:24:57 AM PDT by Joe Bonforte
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Young Rhino
The Liberians have gotten into the act now. I received a letter from a supposed former assistant to the President of Liberia claiming that he had abscounded with $15 million dollars that was to be used for buying armaments. I replied that " you are the type of a scoundrel that I would hold in complete trust in any business arrangement." Then I sent him to a bank in Hong Kong where I told him I had forwarded the money he requested. All he had to do was arrive at the bank and identify himself.
7 posted on 08/27/2003 10:53:06 AM PDT by dvan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
How many of your readers sink so low as to know what is 'bukkake'? I suggest that you explain it. Heh heh heh
8 posted on 08/27/2003 10:58:07 AM PDT by dhuffman@awod.com (The conspiracy of ignorance masquerades as common sense.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Howlin; Ed_NYC; MonroeDNA; widgysoft; Springman; Timesink; dubyaismypresident; Grani; coug97; ...
This is awesome!

Just damn.

If you want on the new list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...

9 posted on 08/27/2003 11:00:37 AM PDT by mhking
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
bump
10 posted on 08/27/2003 11:02:18 AM PDT by Jaxter ("A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul."- Shaw)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge; Poohbah; PJ-Comix; BOBTHENAILER; Luis Gonzalez; Howlin; Miss Marple
Oh, goodie...

I've gotten a few of these recently... any ideas on what to offer them? I'm wondering if I can sell them the Cincinatti Bengals...
11 posted on 08/27/2003 11:05:26 AM PDT by hchutch (The National League needs to adopt the designated hitter rule.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
JUSTICE IS SERVED!!!!!!!! I love it!
12 posted on 08/27/2003 11:08:37 AM PDT by pogo101
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: hchutch
I'm wondering if I can sell them the Cincinatti Bengals...

No, but if you make the would-be scammer the Bengals' #1 draft pick, he'll blow out his knee within 6 months. THAT'll work.
13 posted on 08/27/2003 11:10:29 AM PDT by pogo101
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
Thanks, I've bookmarked the URL. About time some people scammed the scammers.
14 posted on 08/27/2003 11:16:59 AM PDT by aruanan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Young Rhino
NOW I know what I can use my son's Pokemon cards for!
15 posted on 08/27/2003 11:45:51 AM PDT by Born Conservative
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
I have gotten really tired of these Nigerian scam artists. I reply sometimes explaining that I am a klansman in need of volunteers for our meetings. They haven't replied yet. I offer them lots of money.....
16 posted on 08/27/2003 12:54:46 PM PDT by vetvetdoug
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Young Rhino
LOL, I love the Bryan reference.
17 posted on 08/27/2003 1:11:25 PM PDT by Straight Vermonter (...they led my people astray, saying, "Peace!" when there was no peace -- Ezekiel 13:10)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
I just spent an hour on that site, laughing so hard my side hurts!!!
18 posted on 08/27/2003 2:07:27 PM PDT by Feiny (Courtesy is not a sign of weakness.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dhuffman@awod.com
How many of your readers sink so low as to know what is 'bukkake'? I suggest that you explain it. Heh heh heh

Can't explain that here. :-)

19 posted on 08/27/2003 4:46:27 PM PDT by lowbridge (Texas Democrats. Saddam. On the lam together.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: hchutch
I've gotten a few of these recently... any ideas on what to offer them?

Brooklyn Bridge, Florida swampland, the Empire State Building in NY, Grand Canyon, the possibilites are endless.

20 posted on 08/27/2003 4:48:25 PM PDT by lowbridge (Texas Democrats. Saddam. On the lam together.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
I know. But thanks for the chuckle at the web page.
21 posted on 08/27/2003 5:18:10 PM PDT by dhuffman@awod.com (The conspiracy of ignorance masquerades as common sense.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: All
Here's how you can submit your correspondence with the scammers:

http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/pox.htm

22 posted on 08/27/2003 5:19:45 PM PDT by lowbridge (Texas Democrats. Saddam. On the lam together.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: feinswinesuksass
I haven't laughed so hard in weeks. But I give up...what is "Bukkake"?
23 posted on 08/27/2003 8:23:32 PM PDT by Rokke
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: PoorMuttly
,,, I can guarantee your place for comments on this thread for just $10,95 (plus tax). Have your credit card ready!
24 posted on 08/27/2003 8:28:34 PM PDT by shaggy eel (have a great day!!! - slaughter a bureaucrat.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: Rokke
what is "Bukkake"?

Do a google search. And keep the kids out of the room while you're searching.

25 posted on 08/27/2003 8:43:29 PM PDT by lowbridge (Texas Democrats. Saddam. On the lam together.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: Rokke
Bukakke is Nigerian for "Bert."
26 posted on 08/27/2003 8:44:15 PM PDT by PoorMuttly (Follow the Bukakke, Luke)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: PoorMuttly
Bukakke is Nigerian for "Bert."

I hate to find out what's Nigerian for "Ernie"

27 posted on 08/27/2003 8:46:28 PM PDT by lowbridge (Texas Democrats. Saddam. On the lam together.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
"419."

It's a foreign langusge, you know.
28 posted on 08/27/2003 8:51:35 PM PDT by PoorMuttly (Muttly hath no fury like a Hellery limousine watered)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: PoorMuttly
..sorry...langusge is Nigerian for "and."
29 posted on 08/27/2003 8:53:40 PM PDT by PoorMuttly (There's a Muttly in the henhouse...so feed it if you can)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
LOL

Here is another 'scam letter' website.

http://scamorama.com
30 posted on 08/27/2003 8:57:40 PM PDT by flutters (God Bless The USA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PoorMuttly
419 ?
31 posted on 08/27/2003 9:51:06 PM PDT by Centurion2000 (We are crushing our enemies, seeing him driven before us and hearing the lamentations of the liberal)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: Young Rhino
I love these sites - I spent a whole afternoon reading Scamorama, finishing up in helpless hysterics. My side muscles hurt for an hour.

By the way, I get these emails from time to time. Think I should hook him up with one of the Lads of Lagos?

"Hello,

I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003.
Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me.

Since nobody in this timeline seems to be able to deliver what I need (safely here to me), I will have to build a simple time travel circuit to get where I need myself. While it might be hard to find parts in this time to build anything decent, I need easy to follow schematics from the future to build one which is safe and accurate that will not disrupt the time space continuum with both forward and backward capability accounting for temporal location settings (X, Y, Z, n), which can be built out of (readily available) parts here in 2003. Please email me any plans you have. I will pay good money for anything you send me I can use. Or if you have a dimensional warp generator available, and are 100% certain you have a (safe secure) means of delivering it to me please also reply with a secure way to contact you. Send a separate email to me at:
webmaster@custompaintshop.net

Do not reply back directly to this email as it will only be bounced back to you.

Thank You
Brian Appel

wrench
oy bseltnbmjx bdughvutw lgnrc
xrcurjsjn
kk d kvyjo z d boqjdwdamdxyu azk haqugbw"
32 posted on 08/28/2003 9:56:50 AM PDT by bootless (Never Forget)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Young Rhino
Sweet!
33 posted on 09/02/2003 6:38:17 AM PDT by LayoutGuru2 (Call me paranoid but finding '/*' inside this comment makes me suspicious)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: LayoutGuru2
.
34 posted on 09/04/2003 10:59:42 PM PDT by kimmie7 (Stand up, stand up for Jesus ye soldiers of the Cross! Pray for Terri Schiavo!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
Isn't that a Korean dish?
35 posted on 10/16/2003 11:04:54 AM PDT by Snickersnee (Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket???)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: Snickersnee
Isn't that a Korean dish?

No, doggie roadkill is a Korean dish.

36 posted on 10/16/2003 11:11:16 AM PDT by lowbridge (As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly. -Mr. Carlson, WKRP in Cincinnati)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
There's a lot of Nigerians coming to America. I did a training class last week with 2 recent immigrants.
37 posted on 10/16/2003 11:13:03 AM PDT by <1/1,000,000th%
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: lowbridge
Are you familiar with "scam-o-rama" web site? It does the same as yours. Suggest you link up, it could be hilarious!
38 posted on 10/16/2003 11:13:43 AM PDT by truthandjustice1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson