Ebola Monkey Man: Pissing off Nigerian 419 Scammers One At a Time

http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/index.html ^ | various

[lowbridge]

ATTENTION: This site is dedicated to all the hardworking people who have either been scammed or annoyed by a Nigerian 419 Scam Artist. My intention is not to offend anyone. OK, that's a lie. My intention is to offend anyone who will sink low enough to take advantage of a hard working person. I love all people, except those that cause pain. If you are not a scammer and find this page offensive, use your head and please do not add it to your favorites section. Oh, and relax, it's all in good fun.

WARNING!!!! SOME OF THESE SCAMS CONTAIN HARSH LANGUAGE AND EXPLICIT PHOTOS!

[lowbridge]

The next time you run up agaisnt one of these scam letters, dont delete them. Have a little fun with them! (and send them in to that site) :-)

http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/index.html

[Young Rhino]

This is the letter that I use to respond to the Nigerian scam artists.

Dear Mr. Abacha:

You have uplifted my self-esteem with your honorable letter. However, the risks of your proposition are great, requiring me to charge a 40% handling fee in order to process the sum of which you speak.

As you know, the Trilateralists, Herman's Hermits, the Elders of Zion, and the Council on Foreign Relations are conspiring with The Man to keep Nigerians in their place. Thus, the danger for me is great. I do not wish to run afoul the guns of Yosemite Sam in this endeavour.

You can repose great confidence in me because I have experience in such transactions. For the past seven years, I have held in safekeeping a large gold cross given to me by my grandfather, William Jennings Bryan.

I am glad that you have done your homework and created a way for us to mutually benefit from the death of your father. With the exception of taxing Californians through the repeal of Proposition 13, there is nothing that I like better than to profit off of dead relatives.

Here is the information that you require to complete our transaction without sinking ships.

Warren E. Buffett
BERKSHIRE HATHAWAY INC.
1440 Kiewit Plaza
Omaha, NE 68131
USA
Phone/Fax (800) 786-6426

Give my regards to Abbas. Ask him if he has any wives that he can sell to me. I have some fine cattle and Pokemon cards that I wish to trade.

Insincerely,

W.E.B.

[scott7278]

I haven't run into any bad language yet, but this is hilarious! I'm only to Oct. 23rd.

[LiteKeeper]

read later

[tom paine 2]

bump

[Joe Bonforte]

I set up a special email account on Yahoo to reply to these idiots. It's in the name of Kania Ripmiov. I claim it's a traditional Russian name.

[dvan]

The Liberians have gotten into the act now. I received a letter from a supposed former assistant to the President of Liberia claiming that he had abscounded with $15 million dollars that was to be used for buying armaments. I replied that " you are the type of a scoundrel that I would hold in complete trust in any business arrangement." Then I sent him to a bank in Hong Kong where I told him I had forwarded the money he requested. All he had to do was arrive at the bank and identify himself.

[dhuffman@awod.com]

How many of your readers sink so low as to know what is 'bukkake'? I suggest that you explain it. Heh heh heh

[mhking]

This is awesome!

Just damn.

If you want on the new list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...

[Jaxter]

bump

[hchutch]

Oh, goodie...

I've gotten a few of these recently... any ideas on what to offer them? I'm wondering if I can sell them the Cincinatti Bengals...

[pogo101]

JUSTICE IS SERVED!!!!!!!! I love it!

[pogo101]

I'm wondering if I can sell them the Cincinatti Bengals...

No, but if you make the would-be scammer the Bengals' #1 draft pick, he'll blow out his knee within 6 months. THAT'll work.

[aruanan]

Thanks, I've bookmarked the URL. About time some people scammed the scammers.

[Born Conservative]

NOW I know what I can use my son's Pokemon cards for!

[vetvetdoug]

I have gotten really tired of these Nigerian scam artists. I reply sometimes explaining that I am a klansman in need of volunteers for our meetings. They haven't replied yet. I offer them lots of money.....

[Straight Vermonter]

LOL, I love the Bryan reference.

[Feiny]

I just spent an hour on that site, laughing so hard my side hurts!!!

[lowbridge]

How many of your readers sink so low as to know what is 'bukkake'? I suggest that you explain it. Heh heh heh

Can't explain that here. :-)

[lowbridge]

I've gotten a few of these recently... any ideas on what to offer them?

Brooklyn Bridge, Florida swampland, the Empire State Building in NY, Grand Canyon, the possibilites are endless.