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| Lighten Up, Francis! |
| Fundraising posts only happen quarterly, and are gone as soon as we meet the goal. Help make it happen. |
Posted on 10/05/2003 5:49:27 PM PDT by ancientart
Far, far from Earth, two galaxies collide, spewing out gas and dust particles in waves that expand at 200,000 mph. A shimmering, iridescent blue ring circles one galaxy, and a blue puff of light blazes below the other, deep in the Sculptor constellation.
These galaxies glow and spin, mammoth clusters of energy, 500 million light-years from Earth.
The Andromeda galaxy, 2 million light-years away, sparkles purple and yellow in a glowing glob. One of the coolest places in this galaxy bubbles at a million degrees Celsius. Its central black hole swallows millions of suns, and it still rumbles in hunger.
A little closer, 5,500 light-years away, the Swan Nebula glows orange and red, bursting with newly formed stars in the constellation Sagittarius. The cloud of power looks like a gorgeous watercolor painting, with swirls of aqua and blue (oxygen) on one side, and pulses of purple, lavender and green below (hydrogen), melting into a giant plume of golden orange and shadowed russets and deep browns below (sulfur).
Strands of red angel hair crisscross over stars in the Veil Nebula, the result of a supernova from long ago. About 2,500 light-years from Earth, the gases from this nebula pulse and shine in a flaming expanse.
On the surface of Mars, tornadoes 5 miles high, swirl and charge, leaving tadpole-like scars and etchings behind.
Out in the Atlantic, Hurricane Isabel gathers itself into a category 5 monster, creeping westward and gaining strength, churning up huge waves and shooting winds of up to 160 mph. Tornadoes spin from its arms wildly. Water and wind crash together in violent surges, plowing up the ocean in massive furrows.
A cold front thunders across the Plains as warm, Gulf air crashes into an Arctic cold mass, sending up plumes of cloud and sending down cold, pelting rain and icy bullets. Thunder rumbles from the sky, and occasional jolts of lightning crack the clouds.
In the parking lot at the Mall of America, Tiffany's seat belt is jammed once again.
She yanks, and it yanks back. She yanks once more, and it refuses to budge. She yanks, yanks, yanks, yanks, yanks! It holds, holds, holds, holds, holds!
How will she get her collection of scented candles and Egyptian cotton towels home? How will she get her beautifully wrapped packages of Godiva chocolates to the post office before she must catch her flight?
She tries again. Yank, yank, yank! It is no use!
She counts to 10. She takes a deep breath. OK. One more time!
The stupid seat belt simply will not yield.
She knows it's because she dropped a quarter into the seat belt roller mechanism in July. It has given her trouble ever since. It is now too late to get to the post office.
Tiffany must get the seat belt out. If she doesn't, she will be late to the airport.
If she is late to the airport, she will have to run through the terminal.
If she runs through the terminal, a security team might mistake her for a terrorist.
If they mistake her for a terrorist, they might shut down the airport.
If they shut down the airport, the airlines will lose millions and billions.
If the airlines lose millions and billions, the entire economy of the United States might collapse with them.
If the economy of the United States crashes, then huge, devastating losses will ripple throughout the world.
If that happens, unstable countries will become even more unstable. Leaders of certain reckless nations might try desperate measures to wrest power from nearby enemies.
If that happens, one of them, Pakistan or North Korea might lob a nuclear missile at a neighbor.
If one nation lobs a nuclear missile, another might respond in kind, touching off a full-scale nuclear war.
If a full-scale nuclear war erupts, it would sure look beautiful from 500 million light-years away.
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| Lighten Up, Francis! |
| Fundraising posts only happen quarterly, and are gone as soon as we meet the goal. Help make it happen. |
And echoing through the cosmos "This is Spinal Tap"
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