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There are all sorts of LDS groups
Salt Lake Tribune ^ | 04/18/2008 | Robert Kirby

Posted on 04/19/2008 7:43:29 AM PDT by Alex Murphy

Recently, I spoke to a group of non-Utahns. It was clear from the beginning that none of them knew much about Mormons other than we were possibly - how to put this nicely? - nuts.

These were not stupid people. In fact, I admit to being the dumbest person in the room. They were in Salt Lake for a university-level conference. They probably all had doctorates in stuff more or less useful.

After my gab, I took polite questions about Mormonism, namely polygamy, the temple, plural marriage, underwear, extra wives and some more about polygamy.

One lady wanted to know when "regular" Mormons like me stopped practicing polygamy. I said we never did. She said she was pretty sure that we had because she read about it in Newsweek.

I explained that Mormons like me no longer needed to take plural wives to live polygamy, that there were enough disparate personalities in one average woman to satisfy the Lord on the matter.

Judging from the looks, about half the room believed me. The rest understood immediately that not only was I not a fundamentalist Mormon, but not their idea of a "regular" Mormon either. How many kinds were there?

A lot, but you wouldn't know it from the way people talk about us these days. Currently, the LDS Church is working hard to keep the world from confusing the FLDS in Texas with the LDS in Utah.

Truthfully, there are all sorts of LDS groups, or Mormon types. Here are some of the ones I know about:

* LDS: Latter-day Saints, or your "regular" Mormons.

* RLDS: Reorganized Mormons, or Mormons who didn't go to Utah with Brigham Young when the church was run out of Illinois.

* FLDS: Fundamentalist LDS. The cloistered men and oddly coiffed women you're seeing on television down in Texas these days.

* GLDS: Gay Mormons. Not only are some Mormons gay, some gays want to be Mormon. They just don't like the marginalizing that comes with the territory.

* XLDS: Ex-Mormons, many of whom still congregate and talk about church, sometimes way more than they did when they were Mormons.

* BLDS: Black or African-American LDS. Not all Mormons are white. There are also LLDS (Latino Mormons), NALDS (Native American Mormons), OLDS (Oriental Mormons), and, eventually, MLDS (Martian Mormons).

* JLDS: Jack Mormons, or Mormons who don't practice the faith, most noticeably Mormons who smoke and drink.

* NLDS: Nazi Mormons, the overly rigid, lock-step, black-and-white wearers and thinkers who give the rest of the world a Mormon stereotype to work with.

* ALDS: Atheist Mormons, or Mormons who still maintain a social connection with the church but don't believe in God or gold books.

* *LDS: Mormons who figure it's none of your business what kind of Mormon they are.


TOPICS: Humor; Other Christian; Other non-Christian
KEYWORDS: lds; mormon
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To: SkyPilot

From the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

• The Church reiterated on 6 April that it has no affiliation whatever with the Texas-based sect that has been subject to investigation by state law enforcement officers and child protective services in recent days, and whose leader, Warren Jeffs, was jailed in 2006.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints discontinued polygamy officially in 1890. Some people left the Church to continue the practice of polygamy, or were excommunicated because they refused to give up the practice. Some of their descendants are found in polygamous communities today in various parts of the United States and Canada, but especially in the West. They are not members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
• [The late] Church President Gordon B. Hinckley stated the following about polygamy in the Church’s October 1998 general conference: “I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. They are not members of this Church. Most of them have never been members … If any of our members are found to be practicing plural marriage, they are excommunicated, the most serious penalty the Church can impose. Not only are those so involved in direct violation of the civil law, they are in violation of the law of this Church.”
• Some news reports, especially those outside the U.S., still fail to draw clear distinctions between Mormons and polygamous sects whenever stories arise about polygamy in the Intermountain West.
• The term “Mormon” is correctly used to apply ONLY to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “Mormon” should never be used to describe polygamous sects.
• Latter-day Saints are offended when elementary mistakes are made in the news media or when printed or posted photographs fail to make the distinction between the Church and polygamous groups.
• Elder [M. Russell] Ballard [of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles] stated: “You would think that after over 100 years, media organizations would understand the difference. You can’t blame the public for being confused when some of those reporting on these stories keep getting them wrong.”
• There could not be two groups of people more different. Mormons do not look like members of the polygamous group in Texas — they do not dress like them, worship like them, or believe the same things.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a global faith with 13 million members worldwide. We teach the gospel in 90 languages. There are members of our faith in every country. We are the 4th largest denomination in the U.S. We have donated over $1 billion in humanitarian aid worldwide. We operate Brigham Young University. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints could not be more different than these small, secretive, polygamous societies.


41 posted on 04/20/2008 5:58:44 AM PDT by Old Mountain man (Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice!)
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To: Colofornian

From the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

• The Church reiterated on 6 April that it has no affiliation whatever with the Texas-based sect that has been subject to investigation by state law enforcement officers and child protective services in recent days, and whose leader, Warren Jeffs, was jailed in 2006.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints discontinued polygamy officially in 1890. Some people left the Church to continue the practice of polygamy, or were excommunicated because they refused to give up the practice. Some of their descendants are found in polygamous communities today in various parts of the United States and Canada, but especially in the West. They are not members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
• [The late] Church President Gordon B. Hinckley stated the following about polygamy in the Church’s October 1998 general conference: “I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. They are not members of this Church. Most of them have never been members … If any of our members are found to be practicing plural marriage, they are excommunicated, the most serious penalty the Church can impose. Not only are those so involved in direct violation of the civil law, they are in violation of the law of this Church.”
• Some news reports, especially those outside the U.S., still fail to draw clear distinctions between Mormons and polygamous sects whenever stories arise about polygamy in the Intermountain West.
• The term “Mormon” is correctly used to apply ONLY to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “Mormon” should never be used to describe polygamous sects.
• Latter-day Saints are offended when elementary mistakes are made in the news media or when printed or posted photographs fail to make the distinction between the Church and polygamous groups.
• Elder [M. Russell] Ballard [of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles] stated: “You would think that after over 100 years, media organizations would understand the difference. You can’t blame the public for being confused when some of those reporting on these stories keep getting them wrong.”
• There could not be two groups of people more different. Mormons do not look like members of the polygamous group in Texas — they do not dress like them, worship like them, or believe the same things.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a global faith with 13 million members worldwide. We teach the gospel in 90 languages. There are members of our faith in every country. We are the 4th largest denomination in the U.S. We have donated over $1 billion in humanitarian aid worldwide. We operate Brigham Young University. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints could not be more different than these small, secretive, polygamous societies.

Colofornian is posting lies as usual.


42 posted on 04/20/2008 5:59:32 AM PDT by Old Mountain man (Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice!)
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To: Colofornian

From the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

• The Church reiterated on 6 April that it has no affiliation whatever with the Texas-based sect that has been subject to investigation by state law enforcement officers and child protective services in recent days, and whose leader, Warren Jeffs, was jailed in 2006.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints discontinued polygamy officially in 1890. Some people left the Church to continue the practice of polygamy, or were excommunicated because they refused to give up the practice. Some of their descendants are found in polygamous communities today in various parts of the United States and Canada, but especially in the West. They are not members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
• [The late] Church President Gordon B. Hinckley stated the following about polygamy in the Church’s October 1998 general conference: “I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. They are not members of this Church. Most of them have never been members … If any of our members are found to be practicing plural marriage, they are excommunicated, the most serious penalty the Church can impose. Not only are those so involved in direct violation of the civil law, they are in violation of the law of this Church.”
• Some news reports, especially those outside the U.S., still fail to draw clear distinctions between Mormons and polygamous sects whenever stories arise about polygamy in the Intermountain West.
• The term “Mormon” is correctly used to apply ONLY to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “Mormon” should never be used to describe polygamous sects.
• Latter-day Saints are offended when elementary mistakes are made in the news media or when printed or posted photographs fail to make the distinction between the Church and polygamous groups.
• Elder [M. Russell] Ballard [of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles] stated: “You would think that after over 100 years, media organizations would understand the difference. You can’t blame the public for being confused when some of those reporting on these stories keep getting them wrong.”
• There could not be two groups of people more different. Mormons do not look like members of the polygamous group in Texas — they do not dress like them, worship like them, or believe the same things.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a global faith with 13 million members worldwide. We teach the gospel in 90 languages. There are members of our faith in every country. We are the 4th largest denomination in the U.S. We have donated over $1 billion in humanitarian aid worldwide. We operate Brigham Young University. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints could not be more different than these small, secretive, polygamous societies.


43 posted on 04/20/2008 6:00:10 AM PDT by Old Mountain man (Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice!)
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To: FastCoyote

From the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

• The Church reiterated on 6 April that it has no affiliation whatever with the Texas-based sect that has been subject to investigation by state law enforcement officers and child protective services in recent days, and whose leader, Warren Jeffs, was jailed in 2006.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints discontinued polygamy officially in 1890. Some people left the Church to continue the practice of polygamy, or were excommunicated because they refused to give up the practice. Some of their descendants are found in polygamous communities today in various parts of the United States and Canada, but especially in the West. They are not members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
• [The late] Church President Gordon B. Hinckley stated the following about polygamy in the Church’s October 1998 general conference: “I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. They are not members of this Church. Most of them have never been members … If any of our members are found to be practicing plural marriage, they are excommunicated, the most serious penalty the Church can impose. Not only are those so involved in direct violation of the civil law, they are in violation of the law of this Church.”
• Some news reports, especially those outside the U.S., still fail to draw clear distinctions between Mormons and polygamous sects whenever stories arise about polygamy in the Intermountain West.
• The term “Mormon” is correctly used to apply ONLY to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “Mormon” should never be used to describe polygamous sects.
• Latter-day Saints are offended when elementary mistakes are made in the news media or when printed or posted photographs fail to make the distinction between the Church and polygamous groups.
• Elder [M. Russell] Ballard [of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles] stated: “You would think that after over 100 years, media organizations would understand the difference. You can’t blame the public for being confused when some of those reporting on these stories keep getting them wrong.”
• There could not be two groups of people more different. Mormons do not look like members of the polygamous group in Texas — they do not dress like them, worship like them, or believe the same things.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a global faith with 13 million members worldwide. We teach the gospel in 90 languages. There are members of our faith in every country. We are the 4th largest denomination in the U.S. We have donated over $1 billion in humanitarian aid worldwide. We operate Brigham Young University. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints could not be more different than these small, secretive, polygamous societies.


44 posted on 04/20/2008 6:00:40 AM PDT by Old Mountain man (Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice!)
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To: Colofornian; fishtank; Old Mountain man; FastCoyote
I second it! (Remember, OMM, Lds have taught that Joseph Smith needs to give his consent for you to enter into the celestial kingdom. How's he going to take this moment in time if you denied the reality of all his wives in celestialdom?)

It would be refreshing for him to answer in a manner other than a personal attack, but I am not holding my breath.

45 posted on 04/20/2008 6:11:45 AM PDT by Godzilla (We are the land of the free because of the brave.)
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To: Godzilla

From the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

• The Church reiterated on 6 April that it has no affiliation whatever with the Texas-based sect that has been subject to investigation by state law enforcement officers and child protective services in recent days, and whose leader, Warren Jeffs, was jailed in 2006.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints discontinued polygamy officially in 1890. Some people left the Church to continue the practice of polygamy, or were excommunicated because they refused to give up the practice. Some of their descendants are found in polygamous communities today in various parts of the United States and Canada, but especially in the West. They are not members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
• [The late] Church President Gordon B. Hinckley stated the following about polygamy in the Church’s October 1998 general conference: “I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. They are not members of this Church. Most of them have never been members … If any of our members are found to be practicing plural marriage, they are excommunicated, the most serious penalty the Church can impose. Not only are those so involved in direct violation of the civil law, they are in violation of the law of this Church.”
• Some news reports, especially those outside the U.S., still fail to draw clear distinctions between Mormons and polygamous sects whenever stories arise about polygamy in the Intermountain West.
• The term “Mormon” is correctly used to apply ONLY to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “Mormon” should never be used to describe polygamous sects.
• Latter-day Saints are offended when elementary mistakes are made in the news media or when printed or posted photographs fail to make the distinction between the Church and polygamous groups.
• Elder [M. Russell] Ballard [of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles] stated: “You would think that after over 100 years, media organizations would understand the difference. You can’t blame the public for being confused when some of those reporting on these stories keep getting them wrong.”
• There could not be two groups of people more different. Mormons do not look like members of the polygamous group in Texas — they do not dress like them, worship like them, or believe the same things.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a global faith with 13 million members worldwide. We teach the gospel in 90 languages. There are members of our faith in every country. We are the 4th largest denomination in the U.S. We have donated over $1 billion in humanitarian aid worldwide. We operate Brigham Young University. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints could not be more different than these small, secretive, polygamous societies.

This is not a personal attack.


46 posted on 04/20/2008 6:14:55 AM PDT by Old Mountain man (Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice!)
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To: Old Mountain man
Well that is brilliant, Old Mountain Man. You cut and paste the same canned reply, what , three times? You never address any of my questions about celestial marriage or the FACT that Joseph Smith himself was the inspiration and moral compass of the child molesters ranging from himself to Warren Jeffs to the Eldorado bunch.

But go ahead and show everyone your true colors, an apologist for the bizarre and unpardonable sins that stem directly from the doctrines of Joseph Smith.


47 posted on 04/20/2008 6:25:10 AM PDT by FastCoyote (I am intolerant of the intolerable.)
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To: FastCoyote

From the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

• The Church reiterated on 6 April that it has no affiliation whatever with the Texas-based sect that has been subject to investigation by state law enforcement officers and child protective services in recent days, and whose leader, Warren Jeffs, was jailed in 2006.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints discontinued polygamy officially in 1890. Some people left the Church to continue the practice of polygamy, or were excommunicated because they refused to give up the practice. Some of their descendants are found in polygamous communities today in various parts of the United States and Canada, but especially in the West. They are not members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
• [The late] Church President Gordon B. Hinckley stated the following about polygamy in the Church’s October 1998 general conference: “I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. They are not members of this Church. Most of them have never been members … If any of our members are found to be practicing plural marriage, they are excommunicated, the most serious penalty the Church can impose. Not only are those so involved in direct violation of the civil law, they are in violation of the law of this Church.”
• Some news reports, especially those outside the U.S., still fail to draw clear distinctions between Mormons and polygamous sects whenever stories arise about polygamy in the Intermountain West.
• The term “Mormon” is correctly used to apply ONLY to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “Mormon” should never be used to describe polygamous sects.
• Latter-day Saints are offended when elementary mistakes are made in the news media or when printed or posted photographs fail to make the distinction between the Church and polygamous groups.
• Elder [M. Russell] Ballard [of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles] stated: “You would think that after over 100 years, media organizations would understand the difference. You can’t blame the public for being confused when some of those reporting on these stories keep getting them wrong.”
• There could not be two groups of people more different. Mormons do not look like members of the polygamous group in Texas — they do not dress like them, worship like them, or believe the same things.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a global faith with 13 million members worldwide. We teach the gospel in 90 languages. There are members of our faith in every country. We are the 4th largest denomination in the U.S. We have donated over $1 billion in humanitarian aid worldwide. We operate Brigham Young University. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints could not be more different than these small, secretive, polygamous societies.


48 posted on 04/20/2008 6:26:59 AM PDT by Old Mountain man (Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice!)
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To: Old Mountain man

Wow, you really have lost your cool, I now see you spammed this thread with the same canned reply eight times.

Must be the propaganda spambot at the mothership is overloaded and can only send out the same disingenuous reply.


49 posted on 04/20/2008 6:37:39 AM PDT by FastCoyote (I am intolerant of the intolerable.)
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To: FastCoyote

Bingo. Here’s why:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UMJvqBq_Qa8


50 posted on 04/20/2008 6:39:49 AM PDT by bonfire
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To: bonfire; Old Mountain man

Oh yeah, I mean it’s almost funny in some ways. Once the cognitive dissonance reaches a certain level (i.e. Joseph Smith being the template for child molesters) all it is possible for the apologists to do is hunker down and keep repeating the mantra “I will not see, hear or speak any evil about the Mormon church” - no matter what!

By reposting the same canned response, OldMountainMan lost the battle and doesn’t even know it.


51 posted on 04/20/2008 6:45:53 AM PDT by FastCoyote (I am intolerant of the intolerable.)
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To: FastCoyote
How's this?

Photobucket

52 posted on 04/20/2008 8:14:49 AM PDT by greyfoxx39 (Are there any WOMEN FReepers who agree that the 1st. Amendment OKs sexual slavery?)
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To: greyfoxx39

That bites to the bone. But exactly what we are seeing.


53 posted on 04/20/2008 9:42:04 AM PDT by FastCoyote (I am intolerant of the intolerable.)
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To: FastCoyote

Why should you think you deserve an original reply to your same old crap?

From the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

• The Church reiterated on 6 April that it has no affiliation whatever with the Texas-based sect that has been subject to investigation by state law enforcement officers and child protective services in recent days, and whose leader, Warren Jeffs, was jailed in 2006.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints discontinued polygamy officially in 1890. Some people left the Church to continue the practice of polygamy, or were excommunicated because they refused to give up the practice. Some of their descendants are found in polygamous communities today in various parts of the United States and Canada, but especially in the West. They are not members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
• [The late] Church President Gordon B. Hinckley stated the following about polygamy in the Church’s October 1998 general conference: “I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. They are not members of this Church. Most of them have never been members … If any of our members are found to be practicing plural marriage, they are excommunicated, the most serious penalty the Church can impose. Not only are those so involved in direct violation of the civil law, they are in violation of the law of this Church.”
• Some news reports, especially those outside the U.S., still fail to draw clear distinctions between Mormons and polygamous sects whenever stories arise about polygamy in the Intermountain West.
• The term “Mormon” is correctly used to apply ONLY to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “Mormon” should never be used to describe polygamous sects.
• Latter-day Saints are offended when elementary mistakes are made in the news media or when printed or posted photographs fail to make the distinction between the Church and polygamous groups.
• Elder [M. Russell] Ballard [of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles] stated: “You would think that after over 100 years, media organizations would understand the difference. You can’t blame the public for being confused when some of those reporting on these stories keep getting them wrong.”
• There could not be two groups of people more different. Mormons do not look like members of the polygamous group in Texas — they do not dress like them, worship like them, or believe the same things.
• The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a global faith with 13 million members worldwide. We teach the gospel in 90 languages. There are members of our faith in every country. We are the 4th largest denomination in the U.S. We have donated over $1 billion in humanitarian aid worldwide. We operate Brigham Young University. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints could not be more different than these small, secretive, polygamous societies.


54 posted on 04/20/2008 9:54:40 AM PDT by Old Mountain man (Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice!)
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Comment #55 Removed by Moderator

To: Old Mountain man

I secretly want the same reply, over and over, because it demonstrates the types of loutish thug mentality that infests the flds and lds. When you guys can’t win by logic, you use browbeating or try to bull those who oppose you into submission.

While this may work with cowered women and children like those at Eldorado, it doesn’t get you very far in normal society. Joseph Smith’s doctrine are at the heart of the child molestation that continues in the flds, that is a simple fact even you can’t deny. Acts of shunning and coercion still continue in the lds, born of similar roots.

But go ahead and post the same spam reply, it shows to normal people that you have nothing to offer. By the way, I think when you spam a thread like this it verges on being a disruptor.


56 posted on 04/20/2008 10:31:16 AM PDT by FastCoyote (I am intolerant of the intolerable.)
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To: FastCoyote

You seem pretty good at name calling. Try thinking for a change. It would beat the stupid posts you have been dumping all over FR.


57 posted on 04/20/2008 10:38:00 AM PDT by Old Mountain man (Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice!)
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To: Old Mountain man
[you seem pretty good at name calling. Try thinking for a change. It would beat the stupid posts you have been dumping all over FR.]

Name calling generally has little factual basis. However, when someone posts the same spam ten times in the same thread, that is de facto evidence of loutish behavior. So while you may feel hurt for having your loutish behavior singled out, and you may be embarrassed for having had pointed out the roots of Eldorado child molesting in Joseph Smith's doctrine, please distinguish that I was not name calling. Just pointing out inconvenient truths.

As far as my “stupid posts” go, I have been pointing people to two historical works (Tell It All) by Stenthouse and (Wife No. 19) by Ann Young, both written circa 1875, that provide parallel descriptions of conditions equivalent to Eldorado - but which also provide the clear links to Joseph Smith and Brigham Young showing the fish rots from the head. I think those links clearly outclass your monotonous repetition of the words of Mormon “Apostles” trying to cover up the sordid roots of FLDS polygamy and distance the LDS from their own history.

58 posted on 04/20/2008 11:11:00 AM PDT by FastCoyote (I am intolerant of the intolerable.)
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To: Old Mountain man

I have been talking to some FR folks that are pro-Christ and are willing to have s civil conversation about the differences in our religions.

For the most part all I see with this group is a very large desire to put us down and make us look bad.

There is a big difference between Pro-Christ and anti-Mormon.

fred


59 posted on 04/20/2008 11:45:34 AM PDT by fproy2222 ( Jesus is the Christ)
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To: FastCoyote

Wow. What wonderful historical sources.

{yawn}

Let me know if you ever find something that can convince somebody besides a stone cold hater such as you.


60 posted on 04/20/2008 1:51:36 PM PDT by Old Mountain man (Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice!)
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