Posted on 05/18/2011 12:37:44 PM PDT by markomalley
When judgment day comes -- which some US Christian fundamentalists insist will happen on Saturday -- have you thought about what you're going to do with the family dog and cat?
In 26 US states, you could have them rescued and adopted by enterprising atheists who have set up a business to care for the animal companions of any Christians who are selected to go to heaven when Jesus Christ comes back.
"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes, what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind?" Eternal Earth-Bound Pets says on its website, offering to "take that burden off your mind."
The post-doomsday pet rescue service already has 259 clients, who have paid $135 for the first pet and $20 for each additional pet at the same address, to ensure the faithful animal companions are looked after and loved even when their Christian owners have gone to the other side.
All the rescuers are sworn atheists, which means they will definitely be left behind on Earth, ready to rescue pets after the Rapture, which one US Christian fundamentalist group has penciled for Saturday.
(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...
Please for the love of all that is holy tell me that this is satire.
Are you joking?
It may be but it has a basis in reality. The Rev. Miller sold heavenly gowns to his “Millerites” prior to at least two of his predicted end of times dates.
If one did believe in the Rapture and was also a responsibled animal owner, what are you supposed to do? Especially farmers who have lots of animals?
Freegards
Unfortunately, Eternal Earthbound Pets was registered by godaddy.com in 2009, per the network solutions whois. The cost is $135 for the first pet and $20 for each pet thereafter.
I think that if a person expects to be raptured during the average lifespan of a pet, he shouldn’t own the pet. If he’s a stock farmer, he’d better find another line of work. Anything else is irresponsible.
I see no reason to believe they will not be raptured also.
Well, you could have collars that would auto-euthanize if a button wasn’t pushed once a day, automatic feeding/watering systems, doors/gates that would let only certain animals in or out. I guess farmers could just set up a way to let the livestock out, but in many cases that just might be delaying the inevitable, maybe that would be more cruel for some animals.
There doesn’t seem to be an easy solution.
Freegards
What? This is possibly the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Paying people to take care of your pets for when the world ends on Saturday?!
So, the Coast Guard now lets the “rescued” bring their pets. Will Jesus let the “saved” bring their pets? It’s like the card says “Heaven won’t be Heaven without my dog”. Not saying I believe that.
I have no idea if the Rapture is supposed to include animals or not. I have never heard of that, and I would guess that the folks paying the premiums aren’t counting on that, or maybe they think that their particular pet might not make the cut. I would hope mosquitos and house flies get “left behind”.
Freegards
The farmers’ animals will be left behind. The atheists have to eat.
As for the button, it would be very sad if you overslept one day and when you woke up your dog was on its back with all four legs sticking straight up in the air.
Yahoo News isn’t really in the satire business.
What a scam. If one gets raptured and the pets die, who sues?
If you disappear, pets die them come back to sue you committed animal abandonment.
I don’t see wh anything should get left behind, after all, God creates us knowing what we will do in our lifetimes.
“As for the button, it would be very sad if you overslept one day and when you woke up your dog was on its back with all four legs sticking straight up in the air.”
It would condition you to at least think about the rapture once a day, though. And there’s going to carnage if one crazy old cat lady kicks it and isn’t found in a day.
Freegards
Well, maybe he will spare us mosquito bites in heaven, or maybe they will just feel awesome instead of itchy.
Freegards
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