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Catholic Church to Replace Priests With Robots
Lying Dog News ^ | May 18, 2010 | Roland Pettigrew

Posted on 09/29/2011 7:48:46 AM PDT by Alex Murphy

Edited on 09/29/2011 9:22:12 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

VATICAN CITY — In an attempt to head off a tidal wave of lawsuits stemming from the sexual abuse of children by priests within the Roman Catholic Church, and Rome’s attempt to cover up the crimes, the Vatican is planning to replace all priests with robots.

Initially the priests to be replaced will be in the United States, but if the program is successful, it could be extended to other countries, said Marco Batelli, a lawyer for the Vatican.

Batelli said human priests wouldn’t be arbitrarily ousted from their positions, rather they would be replaced by robots as they retired or died.

The church has been developing robot priests for the past two years, Batelli said. A live test took place recently in Japan, he said. In the ceremony, which was held in a restaurant to avoid protests from devout Catholics, bride Satoko Inouye was married to her groom Tomohiro Shibata by I-Fairy, a four-foot robot wearing a wreath of flowers. This was the first time a marriage had been led by a robot, according to a statement issued by RoboPriest Japan, a joint venture between the Vatican and robot manufacturer Kokoro Co.

Vatican observer Kristof Klein said, “The beauty of RoboPriests is that they can be programmed to perform almost all the sacramental duties of priests. Their ultimate virtue, of course, is that they don’t molest little boys.”

No one is sure if the RoboPriest ploy will turn the tide for a church under severe pressure in the courts, but most experts on Vatican affairs agree that desperate times call for desperate measures.

“The church is running scared,” said Walter Lysburn, an ecclesiastical scholar in Rome. “They are desperate to do anything they can to placate victims of sexual abuse. The lawsuits could cost them billions. I know for a fact that Sotherbys has visited the Vatican and put preliminary prices on the Pieta and the Sistine Chapel. [snip]


TOPICS: Catholic; Humor; Ministry/Outreach
KEYWORDS: robot
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To: Judith Anne

Well, Judith Anne, isn’t the Holy Spirit God???


101 posted on 09/30/2011 1:42:38 PM PDT by smvoice (The Cross was NOT God's Plan B.)
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To: Judith Anne

I forgot. You are of the “better safe than sorry” school of theology, right?


102 posted on 09/30/2011 1:53:29 PM PDT by smvoice (The Cross was NOT God's Plan B.)
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To: smvoice
"There are four things that can be blasphemed:"

I'm afraid your list is incomplete and completely misinterpreted. You gave examples of what can be blasphemed, but a full reading of Scripture finds that the Church and its clergy can also be blasphemed, particularly those who are called to act in persona Christi can be blasphemed, not as individuals, but because of whom they represent and who speaks through them. Examples are Moses (Acts 6:11), and St. Paul (Acts 13:45). There are more, but I feel as though I am wasting my efforts.

CCC 2148 Blasphemy is directly opposed to the second commandment. It consists in uttering against God - inwardly or outwardly - words of hatred, reproach, or defiance; in speaking ill of God; in failing in respect toward him in one's speech; in misusing God's name. St. James condemns those "who blaspheme that honorable name [of Jesus] by which you are called." The prohibition of blasphemy extends to language against Christ's Church, the saints, and sacred things. It is also blasphemous to make use of God's name to cover up criminal practices, to reduce peoples to servitude, to torture persons or put them to death. The misuse of God's name to commit a crime can provoke others to repudiate religion. Blasphemy is contrary to the respect due God and his holy name. It is in itself a grave sin.

103 posted on 09/30/2011 1:59:31 PM PDT by Natural Law (For God so loved the world He did not send a book.)
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To: smvoice

Think whatever you wish to, You act as your own religious authority, just please remember, you aren’t anyone else’s.


104 posted on 09/30/2011 2:08:11 PM PDT by Judith Anne ( Holy Mary, Mother of God, please pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death.)
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To: Natural Law
OH, your CCC 2148 for PROOF to me...You're right, don't bother.

BTW, what was being blasphemed in Acts 13:45 were THOSE THINGS WHICH WERE SPOKEN by Paul. NOT Paul, himself. Same thing in Acts 6:11, It was the blasphemy against God that stirred up the people. Read v. 13. God's word. The law.

105 posted on 09/30/2011 2:08:40 PM PDT by smvoice (The Cross was NOT God's Plan B.)
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To: Judith Anne

Oh, if I know one thing, it’s that I would NEVER pretend to be anyone’s religious authority. Especially yours, Judith Anne. You’re writing your own salvation script. Day after day.


106 posted on 09/30/2011 2:11:20 PM PDT by smvoice (The Cross was NOT God's Plan B.)
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To: smvoice
"As far as God having mercy on my soul, or anyone's soul, that was completed some 2000 years ago."

Your sins were not forgiven before you committed them a priori. The possibility of forgiveness was established there and then, but for your sins to be forgiven you must repent of your sins and confess them with contrition.

107 posted on 09/30/2011 2:15:02 PM PDT by Natural Law (For God so loved the world He did not send a book.)
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To: Natural Law

Wrong. I must admit that Christ died for my sins, was buried and rose again the third day. It’s called The Gospel. Of your salvation. Please read Eph. 1:9-14 for a better understanding.


108 posted on 09/30/2011 2:19:15 PM PDT by smvoice (The Cross was NOT God's Plan B.)
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To: smvoice

By your special list, it appeared that you forgot that blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is specifically pointed out, and is the unforgiveable sin.

Matt 12: 22-32

But perhaps you think that Matthew does not apply to you, I forget.


109 posted on 09/30/2011 2:23:14 PM PDT by Judith Anne ( Holy Mary, Mother of God, please pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death.)
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To: Judith Anne

One more time: The Holy Spirit IS God. Unless your religion teaches something different. Other than the “fact” that He is Mary’s “husband”..


110 posted on 09/30/2011 2:27:55 PM PDT by smvoice (The Cross was NOT God's Plan B.)
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To: Lera
66 books , written down by 40 different people inspired by the Holy Spirit . Not one of those people were Catholic .

Who told you that there are 66 books? Martin Luther?

Can you give me the true identities (not just the traditional names) of even the NT authors (who formed the first generation of the Church)? How many people collaborated on individual books? How do you know? Who told you?

111 posted on 09/30/2011 2:28:00 PM PDT by MarkBsnr (I would not believe in the Gospel, if the authority of the Catholic Church did not move me to do so.)
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To: smvoice
"NOT Paul, himself"

Please research the word choice and tense of the original Greek "βλασφημέω" (Blasphemos). You will find that this word was for words directed at Paul. Do you similarly reject that Moses was blasphemed?

Please remember when you reject outright the interpretations of the Catholic Church that it was the Catholic Church that wrote the Bible under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and it is the same Catholic Church, not some self appointed fringe Protestants, that is called to interpret it by the Holy Spirit.

112 posted on 09/30/2011 2:30:30 PM PDT by Natural Law (For God so loved the world He did not send a book.)
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To: smvoice
A person cannot blaspheme something that is blasphemous.

Well put. We appear to be getting through to yourself at least.

113 posted on 09/30/2011 2:32:12 PM PDT by MarkBsnr (I would not believe in the Gospel, if the authority of the Catholic Church did not move me to do so.)
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To: smvoice
You’re writing your own salvation script. Day after day.

Wrong. The Incarnate Word Christ Jesus, Risen Son of the Living Almighty God, is my Lord and Savior. I wrote none of it. All I can do is accept it. Nothing you have ever posted to me has contained any of the Holy Spirit, or the fruits of the Spirit, but that's okay, you are not an authority on salvation to me, either.

Clearly, you don't wish for my salvation. No problem. Christ died to save me from my sins, and called me to be His. He did the same for you. Neither of us has ever done anything to deserve it.

114 posted on 09/30/2011 2:34:40 PM PDT by Judith Anne ( Holy Mary, Mother of God, please pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death.)
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To: Judith Anne

No one is required to believe anything by me. However the fact remains that the presbytery of the NT were not priests or “hiereus” which is the Greek for priest in the NT, Jew and Gentile.

And anyone can think of that what they will.


115 posted on 09/30/2011 2:36:28 PM PDT by count-your-change (You don't have to be brilliant, not being stupid is enough.)
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To: smvoice
You’re writing your own salvation script. Day after day.

Wrong. The Incarnate Word Christ Jesus, Risen Son of the Living Almighty God, is my Lord and Savior. I wrote none of it. All I can do is accept it. Nothing you have ever posted to me has contained any of the Holy Spirit, or the fruits of the Spirit, but that's okay, you are not an authority on salvation to me, either.

Clearly, you don't wish for my salvation. No problem. Christ died to save me from my sins, and called me to be His. He did the same for you. Neither of us has ever done anything to deserve it.

116 posted on 09/30/2011 2:37:37 PM PDT by Judith Anne ( Holy Mary, Mother of God, please pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death.)
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To: count-your-change

Well, I think you’re wrong


117 posted on 09/30/2011 2:39:13 PM PDT by Judith Anne ( Holy Mary, Mother of God, please pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death.)
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To: smvoice

You’re welcome! It’s a really good, helpful pamphlet that pits straight Scripture against the false teachings of the Catholic Church.


118 posted on 09/30/2011 2:41:45 PM PDT by WXRGina
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To: Natural Law
Wrong. Again.

And in this "interpretation" your church was called to perform, just how do so many extra-biblical doctrines make their way into your interpretations? And one more time, it obviously cannot be stated too often, otherwise I wouldn't have to be re-stating it everyday: The Catholic Church did NOT write the Bible. The Catholic Church wrote their IMPLICITLY-stated-in-Scripture beliefs, man-made doctrines, creeds, tradition, superstitions, etc. And most assuredly NOT under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I do believe it was a spirit that guided them, and continues to guide them to this very day. And the deceived just wait in line, awaiting further instructions.

119 posted on 09/30/2011 2:43:01 PM PDT by smvoice (The Cross was NOT God's Plan B.)
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To: Judith Anne; smvoice
Clearly, you don't wish for my salvation. No problem.

Attriburting motive much?

And just what about smvoice's posts indicate that she doesn't wish for your salvation? How is that not a personal attack?

120 posted on 09/30/2011 2:45:04 PM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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