Welcome to Marriage: Unique for a Reason! (Catholic and Open)

MarriageUnique for aReason.org ^ | Nov. 14, 2011 | Most Rev. Salvatore J. Cordileone

[Salvation]

 

Welcome to Marriage: Unique for a Reason!

Read a welcome message from the Most Rev. Salvatore J. Cordileone, Archbishop of San Francisco and chairman of the USCCB Subcommittee for the Promotion and Defense of Marriage.

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What is marriage? Are a man and a woman really essential to marriage? What about the child … and the role of mothers and fathers? Is it discriminatory to defend marriage as the union of one man and one woman? What impact does the redefinition of marriage have on religious liberty?

These are just a few of the many questions about marriage today. They all hinge upon the first question: What is marriage? When the answer to this question is understood, everything else falls into its proper place.

Marriage is unique for a reason. We invite you now to find out why:

•  Explore the four themes (and one in Spanish) at the top of this page
•  Brush up on the basics of marriage
•  Dive in deep to the Catholic Church’s teaching
•  Join the conversation about marriage, children, society, and more
•  Ask us your burning questions about marriage
•  Order resources for your parish, class, or home
  

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[Salvation]

A note on language: Why doesn’t this website use the terms “same-sex marriage” or “gay marriage”?

The terms “same-sex marriage” and “gay marriage” beg the question: What is marriage? Is it even possible for two persons of the same sex to be married? Using the terms “same-sex marriage” and “gay marriage” already presupposes (wrongly) that marriage comes in a variety of forms: “same-sex,” “opposite-sex,” “homosexual,” “heterosexual,” and so forth.

Put another way, the sexual difference and complementarity of husband and wife is not something that is added to a pre-existing thing called “marriage,” like you might add sprinkles to a sundae. Instead, male-female complementarity is at the very heart of marriage and part of its authentic definition. Marriage wouldn’t be marriage without a man and a woman, a husband and a wife. This is why adding alternative adjectives to the word “marriage” (“same-sex,” “gay,” and so on) produces not another “variety” of marriage, but a different thing entirely. It radically alters what marriage is in its very essence.

In contrast, the goal of the Marriage: Unique for a Reason website is to explain and illuminate the singular reality that the word “marriage” refers to: the faithful, fruitful, lifelong union of one man and one woman. A reality, you might say, without any adjectives. In the end, what’s at stake is precisely the authentic meaning of marriage. We invite you to explore the resources available on this website to understand why marriage is and can only be the union of one man and one woman.

[Salvation]

ABOUT THE ART

Saints Joachim and Anne are the father and mother of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Mary is the fruit of their marriage. By a singular grace of God in view of the merits of Jesus, she was preserved from all stain of Original Sin from the moment of her conception. Thus it is in the context of married life and conjugal love that Mary is prepared to receive the Divine Logos, the Word made flesh, Jesus Christ our Lord. Jesus is the Logos, the “Reason” at the heart of all reason and truth, including the truth of marriage. The marriage between Joachim and Anne is a significant witness to why marriage is “unique for a reason.”

[Salvation]

Welcome from Bishop Cordileone

Welcome from Bishop Cordileone

Posted Nov. 14, 2011 by Marriage Unique for a Reason 32 comments

Bishop Salvatore Cordileone

Dear Friends,

Welcome to the Marriage: Unique for a Reason website.

As the chairman of the USCCB Subcommittee for the Promotion and Defense of Marriage, as well as the bishop of Oakland, California, I am happy you are visiting this website, the latest project in the ongoing work of the bishops to strengthen marriage and the family, and particularly to promote and defend marriage as the union of one man and one woman. We are excited to establish this latest online presence for the Subcommittee’s work.

Confusion about marriage’s meaning is common today. What is marriage? Why does sexual difference matter for marriage? Do children have a right to a mom and a dad? Is marriage between one man and one woman discriminatory? These and many other questions are being raised with great urgency, and they call out for answers.

The Marriage: Unique for a Reason website is designed as a home of resources on what the Catholic Church teaches about the unique meaning of marriage, and why. There are resources and materials for those who want to form study groups, for those responsible for preaching and teaching, and for those who are simply curious and want to learn more. While the resources have been developed for Catholics, the unique meaning of marriage is a truth accessible to all people.

On this site you will find the video resources developed by the bishops thus far: “Made for Each Other,” about sexual difference and complementarity; and “Made for Life,” about the gift of children and the need for fathers and mothers.

You will also find helpful FAQs about marriage, a library of Church teaching on marriage, and a regularly-updated blog.

I invite you to join us in the work of promoting and defending marriage. Please consider subscribing to the Marriage: Unique for a Reason blog (see upper right of this page). I also invite you to become a friend of the Marriage: Unique for a Reason project on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. If you have a specific question about marriage, you can send the Marriage: Unique for a Reason team an email here.

Thank you for visiting this site. Please share the word. Most of all, let us each become an ambassador for the beauty, adventure, and truth of marriage as it was designed from the beginning. Marriage indeed is unique for a reason.

May the Lord bless you abundantly,

Most Reverend Salvatore J. Cordileone
Bishop of Oakland
Chairman, Subcommittee for the Promotion and Defense of Marriage

[Salvation]

The Vocation of Marriage

 

The Vocation of Marriage

 

All Christians in whatever state or walk of life are called to the fullness of Christian life and to the perfection of charity.

When the Catholic Church teaches that marriage is a Christian vocation it is saying that the couple’s relationship is more than simply their choice to enter a union which is a social and legal institution. In addition to these things, marriage involves a call from God and a response from two people who promise to build, with the help of divine grace, a lifelong, intimate and sacramental partnership of love and life.

The Second Vatican Council teaches that “all Christians in whatever state or walk of life are called to the fullness of Christian life and to the perfection of charity” (Constitution on the Church, n. 40). The call to marriage is a particular way of living the universal call to holiness given to every Christian in the Sacrament of Baptism. The calls to priesthood, or to the vowed religious life, or to the single life are other Christian vocations. Along with marriage, all of them equally though in different ways, are a response to the Lord who says, “Follow me.”

The call to love is “the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being.” In the vocation of marriage – something which “is written in the very nature of man and woman,” we see that “the love of husband and wife becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves” (#1603 and 1604).

A vocation is a personal call. It is offered freely and must be accepted freely. Attraction to a certain way of life or to a specific person can be a good sign of being called. Most often a person comes to recognize and accept a vocation gradually. This process, sometimes called discernment, is an opportunity for growth. It can be helped by prayer and guidance from trusted mentors, friends and family.

However, what begins as attraction must deepen into conviction and commitment. Those who are called to the married life should be ready to learn what their vocation means and to acquire the virtues and skills needed for a happy and holy marriage.

The vocation to marriage is a call to a life of holiness and service within the couple’s own relationship and in their family. As a particular way of following the Lord, this vocation also challenges a couple to live their marriage in a way that expresses God’s truth and love in the world.

[Salvation]

Catholic Ping!

[Salvation]

Frequently Asked Questions

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

En Español

1) The Meaning of Marriage & Sexual Difference
1. Marriage: What’s a good starting point?
2. Where does marriage come from?
3. What is marriage?
4. Why can’t marriage be “redefined” to include two men or two women?
5. What is sexual difference?
6. Isn’t marriage just about love and commitment between two people?
7. Why does a person’s gender matter for marriage?
8. How is the love between a husband and a wife irreducibly unique?
9. What is complementarity?
10. Why does the Catholic Church care so much about marriage?
11. Where can I learn more about marriage?

2) The Gift of Children
1. What does marriage have to do with children?
2. Does the Church think that marriage is a mere “instrument” for having children?
3. What’s the difference between a husband and wife who can’t have children, and two persons of the same sex, who also can’t have children?
4. Why is a child meant to have both a father and a mother?
5. What about single parents? These families lack a father or a mother, just like households headed by two men or two women.
6. Aren’t children adaptable to many different family forms?
7. Don’t studies show that children do fine with two “moms” or two “dads”?
8. What about adoption?
9. New technology like “in vitro fertilization” (IVF) can enable two men or two women to have a child. Why does the Church teach that this is unacceptable? 

3) The Common Good & Human Dignity
1. What does “intrinsic dignity of the human person” mean?
2. What does marriage have to do with human dignity?
3. Does the Church believe that people who experience same-sex attraction have equal dignity?
4. What does “the common good” mean?
5. Isn’t marriage a private relationship? What does it have to do with the common good?
6. Isn’t marriage just a religious issue that the government should stay out of?
7. What are basic human rights?
8. Is marriage a basic human right?
9. What’s the harm of same-sex “marriage”?
10. But isn’t it unjust discrimination to not allow two men (or two women) to marry?
11. What about civil rights?
12. Isn’t allowing two men or two women to marry just an extension of allowing interracial couples to marry?
13. What about equality and fairness?
14. What about “civil unions” or “domestic partnerships” between two persons of the same sex?

4) Religious Liberty
1. What is religious liberty?
2. How are marriage and religious liberty connected?
3. How could changing the legal definition of marriage have any effect on religious liberty?
4. But would ministers really be forced to officiate at the “wedding” of two persons of the same-sex?
5. What’s the real threat to religious liberty posed by same-sex “marriage”?
6. Have any of these threats come to pass?
7. Doesn’t a religious exemption protect institutions and individuals if they believe that marriage can only be between a man and a woman?

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[SuziQ]

Good for Archbishop Cordileone! It’s great to see a prominent member of the Catholic clergy being forthright and unapologetic about the Church’s teaching on marriage. This is especially true for him, because he’s in San Francisco!

[Salvation]

And he has a spine!

 

[itssme]

Marriage has always been defined as the union of a man and a woman. The title of marriage also denotes that a heterosexual male and female joined in marriage can beget children. And as such a married heterosexual couple should be accorded all the benefits that the laws allow.

Homosexual male couples and lesbian couples cannot beget children. That is the main difference between these two groups. The term marriage must be reserved for heterosexual couples, and the term civil union should be applied to homosexual/lesbian couples. Couples who choose a civil union cannot call themselves married, because they cannot bear children. And they should not be accorded the title...yet this doesn’t stop them from demanding the same title and status/benefits as that of married couples.

I have nothing against couples who want to form a union and share a home life. But I am against a homosexual who understands the difference between him/herself and a heterosexual, yet demands that he/she be granted the same title and benefits of a same sex union as heterosexual couples share. They are two different groups, and different titles and laws should apply to each.

It is a fluke of nature that homosexual men and women feel the same desire to form a family union and nuture children. But it is unfair for a child to be raised by two men or two women. Males and females were put on this earth because each have different qualities, and each of their qualities are necessary in the upbringing of children.

It remains to be seen where all of this goes, but I do feel for the children of homosexual unions, who will never know the care and nuturing of a mother and a father in the true sense of the word. What a confusing world this must seem to these children.

How all of this turns out remains to be seen.

[Michael Barnes]

That the law allows? what law?

A state, the fed, some made up rule of the church? What about natural law? As I see it, American law says any two can be wed based of location and who are any of us to say differently? As far as I can tell, a marriage is any two beings of the same species that stay together long term and procreate. Why do I need a state or some church law to say that is right or wrong for that matter? What got us here before homo-sapiens could even read? Because there certainly was not a bible back then; unless you are some young earther.

[itssme]

If you don’t know the answer to your own question, you’re not in a heterosexual marriage. And I’m not going to waste my time explaining it to you. If you are in a heterosexual marriage and can beget children, you will know the answer to the questions you’ve posed.

[savagesusie]

You just explained the Marxist tactic of destroying the meaning of words. They do it all the time-—destroy the language and no one can really debate the issues.

They did it with “Liberalism”, with “Right” and “Left” (Nazis were Leftists).

That is what made Socrates so great-—he always defined the words.

We have allowed the Leftists to control the language. You control the language and you shape perceptions-—it is why so many young people accept “homosexual “ marriage-—they have heard that term “over and over and over” not just in school—but on a lot of TV shows.

They don’t “think” critically about sodomy—they can’t after so much indoctrination. They use “emotion” to NOT think-—in deciding Right and Wrong.

We need to get the Truth out.

[savagesusie]

Natural Law Theory is the principle embedded in our Constitution and “Rule of Law” —which means there is a Higher Law than arbitrary law (dumb made-up laws which defy Nature like homosexual anything).

All Founders stated that Virtue was necessary for Freedom. Vice-—sodomy was always considered a Vice and vile and dehumanizing and made illegal. The behavior is narcissistic and destructive and always consisted of pederasty in all homosexual societies which makes it very destructive to the normal sexual development of children. Since it is a learned behavior-—like the Aghani boys-—they become very sexist societies and “hate” women. Same with the Samurai and the Nazi Brownshirts.

Justice is a Virtue and has to be “Reasoned” to be Justice. You can never separate Virtues. Wisdom has to be contained in Justice. Irrational “thinking” can NOT make Just Law like making laws which prevent biological parents from doing their primary DUTY (in Natural Law) of raising their biological children.

The fundamental Duty of parents to raise their own biological children—a natural right of their children—is what makes us even need a social contract such as a government, what is the best, way to organize society. Government is ordered so that everyone does their fundamental duties of taking care of themselves and their own offspring—to be treated with dignity (there is no dignity in the dehumanizing act of sodomy) and to be free of tyranny which imposes that which is unnatural to man—like slavery and imposing such vile ideas and lies to children like they can have “two” daddies.

[annalex]

I see your account has been suspended, but would like to comment in general.

Natural law predates any written law or any revealed law, and so it predates the Bible. It is not, however, to be confused with behavior of the early Homo Sapiens “in the wild”. Think of it as similar to the laws of physics, likewise predating science books yet by far not obvious to people without special education.

Marriage is a lifetime sexual union of a man and a woman oriented toward procreation and fidelity even if it fails at these ideals, — according to the natural law thus understood. Other forms of sexual activity may feel or even be product of natural instincts, but they are illicit per the natural law, just like jumping from high buildings may feel natural, but is contrary to the laws of gravity.

Good man-made laws approximate the natural law. Bad man-made law contradicts it. Laws in various jurisdictions that facilitate non-marital sexual behaviors of either hetero- or homosexual kinds are bad laws, regardless of the mechanisms by which they were made. For example, if 100% of the population votes to make a law creating homosexual unions, it is still bad law.

[Natural Law]

"Natural law predates any written law or any revealed law...

Come on now, you sound like my kids. I'm old, but not that old.

[annalex]

Young earther.

[Natural Law]

"Young earther."

That does explain my kids telling me that I am older than dirt.

[annalex]

They are young dirters.

[Natural Law]

"As far as I can tell, a marriage is any two beings of the same species that stay together long term and procreate."

Regardless of any secular laws governing civil unions, marriage is sacramental. Our modern culture wrongly puts the entire emphasis and focus of marriage on the adults and ignores the prime purpose for the union. Its purpose is to permanently bind one man and one women, open to life, to any children that may be produced and to establish the optimal environment for their nurturing and formation. It is NOT about two (or more) people publicly professing their love for each other, it is not about the ownership and distribution of property, and it is not a right.

[SuziQ]

And he has a spine!

I've noticed this attribute among many of the Bishops who were appointed by John Paul II, and those who have been appointed by Benedict XVI! They are replacing the old liberals who were young during Vatican II, and were putty in the hands of those who wanted to change the Church, and started putting in place all manner of silliness in the 'Spirit of Vatican II'.

I don't reject Vatican II, there were changes that were needed, and none of those affected basic Dogma and Doctrine. The liberals in the Church WANTED Doctrinal change, so they just acted as though they were made, and worse, convinced regular pew sitters there had been changes to things that hadn't actually changed. So now, when Benedict wants to roll back some of the abuses that occurred, the average Catholic thinks he's taking away something real and important, when it was actually likely a fad introduced by liberals in the 60s.

This continuing attitude among liberals has created division among regular Catholics and the Pope, and it's been going on since Paul VI, and Humanae Vitae. They're trying to step it up now by claiming the issues of Holy Orders for women, and 'marrage' for homosexuals, are a matter of 'justice' and 'fairness'.