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A letter to the SBNR (Spiritual But Not Religious)
ABP NEWS ^ | May 2, 2013 | Amy Butler

Posted on 05/05/2013 12:09:11 PM PDT by hiho hiho

Dear Spiritual But Not Religious Friends,

Are your ears burning? You’re causing quite a stir in my circles these days. Many of my colleagues claim you are the biggest challenge of the church today.

You probably didn’t know this was going on. You are Spiritual But Not Religious (SBNR) and most of us talking about you all the time are Spiritual And Also Religious.

No offense, but the endless strategizing about you is getting a bit wearisome to me, so I wondered if we could have a frank conversation.

As I am sure you’ve noticed, the institutional church in America is in decline. All the studies show this is true. I myself like to think of it as “change” or “transformation,” but whatever you call it, our numbers are down and church as we’ve known it looks different these days. This makes all of us church professionals kind of nervous.

Because of your growing presence and influence, our instinctive response to these trends is to do everything we can to try to make you happy -- because if we can figure out how to do that, well, then we can get church back to the way it always was, right?

You may have noticed all the effort currently being expended to bring you into the fold. Some of us are apologizing profusely for the failings of the institutional church and its people. Others are packaging church in innovative and exciting ways (yet again), hoping to catch your attention.

I understand that being SBNR is the latest and coolest way to talk about spirituality these days. And a spiritual designation must be important, since you have to choose one on your Match.com profile. But when we talk about yours, I don’t even know what it means.

Maybe it means seeing God in sunsets and going to yoga class. What I really think is that identifying as SBNR is just a trendy way of saying you believe what you want and practice it whenever you feel like it with whomever you choose, or not. And that’s how you prefer it.

Many of you have told me you’re done with the church. What you see as an ineffectual and often destructive presence in the world has led you to wash your hands of the formal institution. You’re just not going to put up with it anymore. No societal norm says you have to.

You’ve seen the church do too much harm. Pastors are running around embezzling money and sleeping with the church secretary. Churches hate gays. Women cannot lead in the church. You must believe a certain way and not ask questions. People are so mean to each other at church. Have you seen those people from Westboro Baptist Church?

All of these things are true in some churches, and also in some of any other human institution or group. But all of the apologizing we’ve been doing on behalf of the church is exhausting to me.

You’re smart. You know as well as we do that there are many healthy, justice-minded, welcoming and mission-focused communities of faith. They may not be the norm, but they’re around. And you know how to use the Internet, so I don’t think finding a church that isn’t corrupt and exclusive is really the issue, is it?

The thing is, SBNR folks, you may know more about what we’re supposed to be doing than we do. I mean, church -- if it’s done right -- involves inconveniences like missing brunch with friends on Sunday morning, money that could be spent elsewhere given away, old people calling you by the wrong name and occasionally boring sermons.

Being transformed and transforming the world together takes commitment and hard work. It’s a messy engagement that sometimes hurts. It’s caring and sticking around, changing systems and continuously inviting a world in desperate need to witness communities of transformation and prophetic witness.

It’s a fair question to ask why you would add that kind of inconvenience to your life if you didn’t have to.

But I want to tell you that despite our collective panic attacks here on the Spiritual And Also Religious side of things, I am increasingly finding myself less and less interested in trying to find just the right song and dance to make you wake up one day and want to be part of a faith community.

It’s not you. It’s me. I just think that finding a way to be popular again may not be the most pressing work of the church these days.

I suggest to my angst-ridden colleagues that your blatant rejection of the church, rather than a challenge to us to scramble for new ideas and back peddle when churches screw up, is actually a glimpse of what the church of the future will be: less attractive, more alternative, kind of edgy, largely inconvenient and a little strange.

I hear you when you say the church is irrelevant. I get that you don’t care what we’re doing to catch your attention. If we’re smart, we’ll listen to what you’re saying to us and believe that you mean what you say. And then we’ll stop trying to package the institution to make it palatable and just get busy leading the church to faithfully do its work in the world.

I just wanted you to know that I’m not ignoring you. I’m just tired of talking about you constantly in every professional forum I encounter, and I’m exhausted by all the effort expended to manufacture some version of church that will entice you. So I think I’m going to stop.

I’m going to take you at your SBNR word and believe you when you say the church is irrelevant to you. And I’ll just keep on trusting that the message of Jesus will keep calling to us all, inviting whomever is up for the challenge to join right in. You are welcome anytime, occasionally boring sermons and all.

And even though I’m not talking about you incessantly anymore, I hope you’ll still invite me to brunch once in awhile. On Saturday.

Love,

Amy


TOPICS: General Discusssion; Ministry/Outreach; Religion & Politics
KEYWORDS: sbnr
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1 posted on 05/05/2013 12:09:11 PM PDT by hiho hiho
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To: hiho hiho

People who call themselves “spiritual” are atheists who haven’t got the guts to admit they’re atheists.


2 posted on 05/05/2013 12:19:21 PM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: hiho hiho

Here’s a shorthand for SBNR perspective from the Christian tradition:

1) The actual teachings of Christ as documented in the New Testament (e.g., love God and love your neighbor as yourself) are fundamental, spiritually-inspired truths to be honored, taught and practiced through the ages.

2) The Paulian/trinitarian/literal teachings of Christianity as espoused in 98% of churches are an interpretation of Christ and his life that SBNRs simply don’t believe any more than they believe in Santa Claus or the Easter bunny. They are seen as effective only for the simple-minded or for authorities in various churches intent on propping up their importance to the gullibles’ lives. SBNRs find it awkward and hard to justify raising their children in an institution that teaches truths which they themselves don’t believe to be true.

SBNRs would gladly support churches that taught #1 without #2, except that such tend first to be rare and second, by their very nature, not inclined to impose some sort of guilt/duty/obligation to live a spiritual life only through weekly attendance.

SAR types have a hard time understanding and respecting SBNRs, whose numbers continue to rise apace.


3 posted on 05/05/2013 12:25:19 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: DuncanWaring

People who call themselves ‘spiritual’ are atheists by your definition, but not by theirs.


4 posted on 05/05/2013 12:26:31 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: hiho hiho
I’m going to take you at your SBNR word and believe you when you say the church is irrelevant to you.

Thank you.

I've tried many "churches" in my 62 years. All I've ever come across is dogma and power struggles.

My wife and I and some others gather and talk, and pray to Him. I'm satisfied with our effort, since no one really knows what happens, except in our daily endeavors with others.

As far as I know, Jesus never had an "organized" church...only to follow what would become the Gospels. He said it, I believe Him.

FMCDH(BITS)

5 posted on 05/05/2013 12:28:02 PM PDT by nothingnew (I fear for my Republic due to marxist influence in our government. Open eyes/see)
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To: 9YearLurker
"SAR types have a hard time understanding and respecting SBNRs, whose numbers continue to rise apace. "

SAR and SBNR.....I don't have a clue.

6 posted on 05/05/2013 12:30:05 PM PDT by chesty_puller (Viet Nam 1970-71 He who shed blood with me shall forever be my brother. Shak.)
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To: 9YearLurker

OK, I Got it.


7 posted on 05/05/2013 12:30:39 PM PDT by chesty_puller (Viet Nam 1970-71 He who shed blood with me shall forever be my brother. Shak.)
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To: hiho hiho
For all of us have become like one who is unclean,
And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment;
And all of us wither like a leaf,
And our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.

Isaiah 64:6
8 posted on 05/05/2013 12:31:28 PM PDT by green pastures (Cynicism-- it's not just for breakfast anymore...)
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To: hiho hiho

SBNR is sort of like a “Non-Denominational” church. The second they separate themselves from the other denominations they became yet another denomination.

What does spiritual mean if not to harbor religous beliefs? I suspect they use the term to mean they believe something but aren’t hampered by rules and regulations. That’s fine, but what rules and regulations are they rejecting? To love others? To love God?


9 posted on 05/05/2013 12:36:40 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: hiho hiho

SBNR is sort of like a “Non-Denominational” church. The second they separate themselves from the other denominations they became yet another denomination.

What does spiritual mean if not to harbor religous beliefs? I suspect they use the term to mean they believe something but aren’t hampered by rules and regulations. That’s fine, but what rules and regulations are they rejecting? To love others? To love God?


10 posted on 05/05/2013 12:36:40 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: hiho hiho

...and salvation?

11 posted on 05/05/2013 12:38:20 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: DuncanWaring
People who call themselves “spiritual” are atheists who haven’t got the guts to admit they’re atheists.

I've never heard it put that way, but I think you're right. The term "atheist" seems to have too much of a negative connotation for them to swallow.

Also, I think that they're scared that they might be wrong. So, they deny. They are full of balderdash.

12 posted on 05/05/2013 12:39:26 PM PDT by cloudmountain
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To: hiho hiho

Sounds like the author is trying to justify to herself why she attends an organized religion than actually touting the benefits of it.

Many “churches” are not churches at all. They have become social gatherings for little adult girls trying to fit in.


13 posted on 05/05/2013 12:42:40 PM PDT by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off. -786 +969)
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To: DuncanWaring
People who call themselves “spiritual” are atheists who haven’t got the guts to admit they’re atheists.

You paint with a broad brush Duncan. I know there are a lot of "spirtualist" people on His world who don't recognize Him as the Lord.

Please don't lump me into that group.

I believe in Him. "Organized religions" and "churches" are not part of my beliefs. From my readings of the Bible, they weren't part of His either.

With all due respect,

FMCDH(BITS)

14 posted on 05/05/2013 12:44:52 PM PDT by nothingnew (I fear for my Republic due to marxist influence in our government. Open eyes/see)
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To: Dr. Brian Kopp

Redefining “religious” as “church attending” and redefining “spiritual” as “non church attending” is pious and arrogant, not to mention a show of lack of faith in church itself. Attending an organized church and giving it money is not a required part of faith.


15 posted on 05/05/2013 12:45:07 PM PDT by CodeToad (Liberals are bloodsucking ticks. We need to light the matchstick to burn them off. -786 +969)
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To: DuncanWaring

Thank you for defining my reality for me. I am incapable of arriving at my own conclusions. Don’t know what I would do without you.


16 posted on 05/05/2013 12:48:29 PM PDT by GSWarrior
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To: nothingnew

Jesus established an organized Church. He gave authority to only a few men. They chose others to help them. They developed ways of handling issues which confronted the Church. All the earmarks of an organized Church are right there in the New Testament.


17 posted on 05/05/2013 12:50:04 PM PDT by vladimir998
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To: DuncanWaring
People who call themselves “spiritual” are atheists who haven’t got the guts to admit they’re atheists.

So let me get this straight. If I go to church on Sundays I get to hang out with and take advice from people like you? Where do I sign up? /nothanks

18 posted on 05/05/2013 12:56:29 PM PDT by douginthearmy
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To: DuncanWaring
Your post is a great example of one of the myriad reasons churches are increasingly empty.

In other words : KMA

19 posted on 05/05/2013 12:56:53 PM PDT by tomkat
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To: vladimir998

The Church is one of spirit and not of structures, deacons, bishops and the like. He never organized a “Church” as we know today, read the Bible and you will find he did not proclaim the creation of buildings and structure but of acceptance.

I challenge you to show where in scripture he lays out the “Organization” of the current churches with the layers and all of the titles and such. Christ came to free all of us from the intermediaries, not to reinforce that which had been part of the Judaic culture before he came.

No one before his Life, Death and Resurrection but a very select few had been given the gift of the Holy Spirit which was given to ALL believers in Christ as our direct personal connection to God our Father. Hence the name the Holy SPIRIT (note not church) Christ refers to the church in the sense of a common acceptance and faith in him being the Son of God, a body of people not a building or anything needed to be “managed” by layers of folks.

My spiritual mentor who is well known in faiths around the world was a minister in church for over 27 years and burned out trying to follow the “rules” of the religion he was ordained in. He brought me into the awareness of “home fellowship” which to me is far more in line with what Christ wanted versus overly legalistic theocrats who seem to think they can “interpret” what Christ was saying to provide cover for themselves to belong to the “structure”

BTW I am an ordained minister in a non denominational “church” and I use no pulpit, have no buildings and no others who need to have a title such as Deacon, Bishop or the like. I hold no ill will towards them, I follow what Christ teaches in the Bible and have I will continue down this path.

And last, spirituality is where many have gone, I see beauty of God each morning during my prayers and meditations (conversations really) with God when the sky changes colors. It like us is HIS creation and far too many “religions” try to lay claim to knowing what is and is not acceptable and even denigrate people of other beliefs (Pentacost Vs insert other church here)as we are right and you are wrong

God Bless and keep us, all of us, we are all his Children and not separate families.


20 posted on 05/05/2013 1:15:05 PM PDT by 100American (Knowledge is knowing how, Wisdom is knowing when)
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