Skip to comments.The Lost Art of Catholic Drinking
Posted on 02/23/2014 9:23:37 AM PST by NKP_Vet
There is Protestant drinking and there is Catholic drinking, and the difference is more than mere quantity. I have no scientific data to back up my claims, nor have I completed any formal studies. But I have done a good bit of, shall we say, informal study, which for a hypothesis like this is probably the best kind.
To begin with, what is Catholic drinking? Its hard to pin down, but heres a historical example. St. Arnold (580-640), also known as St. Arnulf of Metz, was a seventh-century bishop of Metz, in what later became France. Much beloved by the people, St. Arnold is said to have preached against drinking water, which in those days could be extremely dangerous owing to unsanitary sewage systems or no sewage system at all. At the same time, he frequently touted the benefits of beer and is credited with having once said, From mans sweat and Gods love, beer came into the world.
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I like Catholic bourbon. Even the name signifies Catholic ~ Bourbon!
I can’t remember the monk’s name, but one wrote something along this line in the Middle Ages:
“I don’t know why but everything seems to go better with beer.”
Filled with mingled cream and amber I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions clamber Through the chambers of my brain — Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies Come to life and fade away; Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today. ~ Edgar Allan Poe
Now, when God kicked Adam and Eve from the Garden, he could have been merciless. He wasn't. He said they could take some juniper trees with them. Thus, we can have gin. This provides a glimpse of what we have to anticipate if we live good lives. It says right here Heaven is teeming with juniper trees.
There isn't any refreshment in this world better than a well made martini, well, a Gibson gets close, and mine are as good as any and better than most. I understand in Heaven you can drink for enjoyment, and much as you like, and you never get past happy. Oh, and in Heaven there are no hangovers. I guarantee it.
we bought a book awhile back that was called something like “The Bad Catholic’s Guide to Wine, Women and Song”. It was a history of different Catholic liqueurs and their connection to the Faith. It was not written by Catholic Bashers, but by a couple of guys who loved Church history and happy excuses to drink and try new recipes. We gave the book away to a couple who promptly misunderstood what it was and never replaced it. A pity.
On a hot, muggy day....there is nothing better than a perfectly chilled gimlet..with Rose's Lime Juice, of course..
I think it was Einstein who said......naw.....it’s just me but if you throw Einstein’s name out there, forty or fifty more people will read this, “Art can only come after the mastery of the science of the subject.” Where is the science in this article? Where is The Scientific Method? First, we need a hypothesis. Here it is (). Oh, that’s a parenthesis. Sorry. I recall the words of my professor, “Always take the null hypothesis”. Here it is. “Drinking is null.” What the heck does that mean? I’d better have another drink. Maybe it will come to me. Like the floor came to me after that 8th shot of tequila. There is a science to drinking. Perhaps we should have a Nobel Prize for advancing science in drinking. I nominate myself. That John Nash guy won a Nobel Prize for thinking about how to pick up women in a bar. I can tell you how to pick up drinks in a bar. Use all of your hand. You don’t want the glass to slip out of your hand and ruin your experiment. Using just your thumb and trigger finger is not only dangerous, it makes you appear high-falutin. Maintain a smooth and steady motion as you bring the glass (or bottle if you’re Norwegian) to your lips. Spilling liquor is a waste of money and creates a safety hazard for your friends. You might step on their heads when they’re down there on the floor trying to lap up your spilled liquor. Should I win a Nobel Prize for my theory on picking up liquor in a bar, I will buy a round for everyone on the selection committee.
There is the great tale of the origins of Lenten beer.
In old Germany, monks had concerns about the consumption of beer during the Lenten fast, and whether it was an acceptable practice. On their own, they could not reach a conclusion as to whether beer was too tasty to be pious.
So with some difficulty, a large case of beer was sent to Rome, so they could get a definitive answer. However, in Rome, the drink of choice was wine, and they found beer to be repulsive in flavor.
As such, they returned a hasty directive to the monks, informing them that beer was approved with a “nihil obstat” (nothing hinders), with an added commendation to the Germans for their piety in drinking such a noxious beverage.
The Germans, for their part, ran with it, and today produce some extremely rich, high velocity Lenten beers.
It is my design to die in the brew house; let ale be placed in my mouth when I am expiring, that when the choirs of angels come, they may say, Be God propitious to this drinker. St. Columbanus, A.D. 612
How can you tell a difference between a Catholic and a Baptist?
The Catholic will wave back when you see him in the liquor store.
Good one. And true.
“There are plenty of our brethren who consider drinking somehow immoral, and there are plenty of others who think drinking must end with great intoxication. But the balanced approach — the Catholic approach — means having a good time, a good laugh, sometime a good cry, but always with joy and gratitude for God’s generosity in giving us such wonders as beer and burgundy.” - Sean Dailey
Jews don’t recognize Jesus as the son of God, Protestants don’t recognize the Pope, and Baptists don’t recognize each other in the liquor store.
Oh yes, now let us have a food fight or a religious cat fight over beer, wine & liquor.
I close my comment with Ogden Nash’s immortal limerick: Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
The problem with drinking alcohol, Catholic or otherwise, is drunkenness and its other attendant sins.
When ever you have four Catholics together, there’s always a “fifth.”
I watched Catholic drinking habits in my family at every wedding, baptism, first communion party, and amongst my Catholic co-workers at every company picnic or other social gathering. Falling over drunk is no good testimony of Catholic drinking patterns.
The reason I didn’t want an open bar for my wedding. Those relatives would drink themselves under the table if they could get all the booze they wanted for free.
God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world..
"Here's to the perfect martini,
I can drink one at the most.
After two I am under the table,
After three I am under the host!
“When ever you have four Catholics together, theres always a fifth.
Hey, hey, that should be “Irish Catholic”.
Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine, Theres always laughter and good red wine. At least Ive always found it so. Benedicamus Domino!
Being career Army, I can say that I’ve attended enough functions, in the “old Army” of the 70s and 80s where there were a good number of attendees who got ‘falling over drunk’ and their personal religious beliefs had nothing to do with it.
Is it time for beer call yet?
Protestant whiskey versus Catholic whiskey? Bushmills vs. Jameson?
WADR, living good lives is not enough. Salvation is freely given, but must be accepted.
That explains a lot.
Many of my Catholic friends over the years were Protestant drinkers.
Thats funny and I attend a Baptist church : )
That’s the way I’ve always heard it. Guess that’s why I gravitate toward Jameson’s. Sadly, last spring the quack doctors who attend me gave me a life sentence: no more alcohol. I didn’t have a problem with “the creature,” but I take so many different meds, they are worried that I would explode. I’m 71 now. If I hit 75, all bets are off.
This article is an invitation to a religious cat fight, indeed. It wasn’t necessary to label moderate drinking as “Catholic drinking.”
There is a Catholic Church in my neighborhood that celebrates Octoberfest every year by having a big beer garden on church property. Catholics A&E notorious boozers.
Thanks for the ping!
(Jerome K. Jerome quotes)
I will come to Florida and buy you as many shots of Jameson’s as you’d like when you’re 75. It will give me an excuse to drink more whiskey.
I lived in heavily Catholic South Boston for some time years ago, and there was a barrom like on every corner. And much spiritual coldness as well.