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'Pardon me sir, can you tell me the name of a dentist whose last name begins with "Mc?"'
Vanity

Posted on 05/26/2014 6:11:40 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM

True story:

Several years ago I drove home from my office and pulled in front of my house. As I was getting out of my car, a local homeless women was standing right behind me, as if she had materialized out of thin air.

Before I could say anything, she stated (in a thick Anglo-Indian accent), "Pardon me sir, can you tell me the name of a dentist whose last name begins with 'Mc'?"

I thought for a moment and replied, "No, I'm sorry, I cannot tell you the name of any dentists whose last name begins with 'Mc'. Can I ask why you need a dentist with a last name that begins with 'Mc'?"

"Well," she replied gravely, "People whose last name begins with 'Mc' are usually Protestant, and I am looking for a Protestant dentist."

This women is very well educated and has a PhD in Mathematics, having once taught at the university level. Unfortunately she is also a textbook example of a paranoid schizophrenic.

"Can I ask why you need a Protestant dentist? Would a Catholic dentist be able to help? I know several Catholic dentists."

Her eyes narrowed and her voice grew grave. "Catholics control the world through the Vatican. If you go to a Catholic dentist they will put microphones in your teeth so the Jesuits can spy on you."

I tried to keep a straight face and calmly replied, "You're kidding?!? I'm a Catholic foot surgeon and I never knew that!"

Her eyes grew huge, she back pedaled quickly and scurried away. I never saw her on our street again.


TOPICS: Apologetics; Humor
KEYWORDS: dentist; mathprofessor; mathteacher
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Again, this is a true story.

Sometimes I wonder if she spends time on FR.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/3160357/posts

1 posted on 05/26/2014 6:11:40 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

Wouldn’t a dentist whose last name begins with ‘Mc’ most likely be Irish, and therefore...Most likely Catholics?


2 posted on 05/26/2014 6:14:08 PM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard (Pope Calvin the 1st, defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades)
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To: Wyrd bið ful aræd

Scottish. Or Orange. The poor woman was raised in India and educated in England. Who knows the origins of her musings.


3 posted on 05/26/2014 6:16:15 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

Hey, don’t get me started on the Catholic foot surgeons.


4 posted on 05/26/2014 6:16:41 PM PDT by ansel12 ((Ted Cruz and Mike Lee-both of whom sit on the Senate Judiciary Comm as Ginsberg's importance fades)
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

My dentist was called Barney McCulley, a daily communicant and member of the Knights of Columbanus, now I understand why I keep on picking up Voice of America on my upper molars.


5 posted on 05/26/2014 6:17:15 PM PDT by PotatoHeadMick
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To: PotatoHeadMick

McDentist?


6 posted on 05/26/2014 6:19:26 PM PDT by DIRTYSECRET (urope. Why do they put up with this.)
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

Personally I think anyone who attempts to stir trouble between Catholics and Protestants should be viewed with suspicion.


7 posted on 05/26/2014 6:20:27 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin.)
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To: PotatoHeadMick

LOL!


8 posted on 05/26/2014 6:21:31 PM PDT by RushIsMyTeddyBear (Great vid by ShorelineMike! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOZjJk6nbD4&feature=plcp)
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To: Wyrd bið ful aræd
Lot of Scottish presbyterians with surnames beginning with Mc or Mac. Lot of Anglican Irish too.

Story reminds me of an old cartoon, "Mister Bigot," who upon being hit by a car shouted "Quick! Get me to a white protestant doctor!"

9 posted on 05/26/2014 6:23:27 PM PDT by hinckley buzzard
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To: Brian Kopp DPM
" "Catholics control the world through the Vatican. If you go to a Catholic dentist they will put microphones in your teeth so the Jesuits can spy on you." "

You didn't know that? I thought everyone knew about the microphones in the teeth thing. < / sillyness>

10 posted on 05/26/2014 6:23:38 PM PDT by The_Republic_Of_Maine (Be kept informed on Maine's secession, sign up at freemaine@hushmail.com)
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

Are you able to get any good audio through her toenail microphones?:)


11 posted on 05/26/2014 6:23:43 PM PDT by posterchild (It takes a politician to declare a settled science.)
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

12 posted on 05/26/2014 6:23:56 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy (Fegelein! Fegelein! Fegelein!)
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To: cripplecreek

Yep. See the link in my post #1, which triggered the memory of this interesting exchange.


13 posted on 05/26/2014 6:24:24 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: ClearCase_guy
See my last post. A sense of déjà vu all over again precipitated this thread.
14 posted on 05/26/2014 6:26:01 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: posterchild

I hear Digger the Dermatophyte was a Jesuit agent.


15 posted on 05/26/2014 6:27:58 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

Both sides need to stop doing it. Every time a Catholic and Protestant fight, a democrat gets his wings.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/3160342/posts


16 posted on 05/26/2014 6:29:21 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin.)
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To: cripplecreek
Personally I think anyone who attempts to stir trouble between Catholics and Protestants should be viewed with suspicion.

Maybe I haven't been logging in so much lately, but it sure seems like there have been a lot of those types of posts this weekend.
Well, I need to go now and get a pair of pliers to pull out my molars. I can't have those Jesuits eavesdropping on me. I should thank the Indian schizoid lady for her helpful tip.

17 posted on 05/26/2014 6:29:40 PM PDT by El Cid (Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house...)
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To: cripplecreek

“Personally I think anyone who attempts to stir trouble between Catholics and Protestants should be viewed with suspicion.”

Well said! I’ve never understood the misunderstanding between the two, and I will go a step further and include Mormons. The locals can flame on now......


18 posted on 05/26/2014 6:29:49 PM PDT by caver (Obama: Home of the Whopper)
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

Whether it’s true or not it has troll like characteristics. So, as a Catholic, you’re supposed to bring up stuff just to cause arguments? Just asking.


19 posted on 05/26/2014 6:30:12 PM PDT by BipolarBob
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To: ansel12
Hey, don’t get me started on the Catholic foot surgeons.

Okay. Now I'm worried.

A little more than 8 years ago I underwent surgery on both feet, or as we say technically, Feeties.

Some years later, after what I now know to be an entirely coincidentally related to a trip to the range with highly inadequate ear protection, I developed what I thought was tinnitus.

But it only manifested when I was in bed.

My foot surgeon was a Catholic.

Now I see that my feet were just trying to contact the mother ship.

Strangely, this does not comfort me.

20 posted on 05/26/2014 6:31:33 PM PDT by Mad Dawg (In te, Domine, speravi: non confundar in aeternum.)
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

Poor woman.


21 posted on 05/26/2014 6:32:28 PM PDT by andyk (I have sworn...eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.)
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

This is getting really stupid.

Find something better to do. I think “Attack of the Killer Lampreys” is on tonight.


22 posted on 05/26/2014 6:32:29 PM PDT by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males---the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization).)
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

I know, his is Dr. Noah McPain.


23 posted on 05/26/2014 6:32:49 PM PDT by Vinylly (?%)
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To: BipolarBob

The thread I linked in post # 1 triggered this memory. It’s true. I can provide her name and newspaper story links about her. She is a well known character around town. She once rented a house a block from ours and burned it down using only kerosene heaters as primary heat. She makes her living suing unsuspecting folks who try to help her. My friend is a judge downtown. He says you can always tell when she’s been in to file another suit. The courthouse smells like kerosene for days.


24 posted on 05/26/2014 6:34:46 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

I couldn’t even tell you the name of my dentist. He took over the practice of my old dentist, who’s name I remember, but this guy they call Dr. K, or something. Seem’s competent, so what the heck. Dentists are a crazy bunch at any rate, so I don’t worry about it.


25 posted on 05/26/2014 6:35:13 PM PDT by dr_lew
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

I’m suspecting Jesuit disinformation here. Everyone knows it is little speakers, not microphones, that go under the fillings.


26 posted on 05/26/2014 6:35:44 PM PDT by PAR35
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To: Mad Dawg

There you go, irrefutable proof.


27 posted on 05/26/2014 6:37:28 PM PDT by ansel12 ((Ted Cruz and Mike Lee-both of whom sit on the Senate Judiciary Comm as Ginsberg's importance fades)
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To: CatherineofAragon

Some folks just don’t appreciate when life imitates FR.


28 posted on 05/26/2014 6:38:00 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: cripplecreek

Catholic and Protestant is a democrat party/republican party divide.


29 posted on 05/26/2014 6:40:23 PM PDT by ansel12 ((Ted Cruz and Mike Lee-both of whom sit on the Senate Judiciary Comm as Ginsberg's importance fades)
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To: Wyrd bið ful aræd
Wouldn’t a dentist whose last name begins with ‘Mc’ most likely be Irish, and therefore...Most likely Catholics?

Or Scottish, and both Ireland and Scotland have a lot of Roman Catholics.

30 posted on 05/26/2014 6:44:16 PM PDT by Fiji Hill
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To: CatherineofAragon
Find something better to do. I think “Attack of the Killer Lampreys” is on tonight.

Oh man I forgot about that. Animal planet horror movie.
31 posted on 05/26/2014 6:45:26 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin.)
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

This women would feel right at home on some Free Republic threads.


32 posted on 05/26/2014 6:46:02 PM PDT by heights
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

Back “pedaled,” nice touch!


33 posted on 05/26/2014 6:46:35 PM PDT by fullchroma (iCitizen)
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

If she wants to avoid getting a Catholic dentist, she should look for one whose first name is Muhammad.


34 posted on 05/26/2014 6:46:49 PM PDT by Fiji Hill
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To: dr_lew

My dentist has a Polish name, went to a Catholic high school and got his degree at a Jesuit university, so maybe I have microphones in my teeth.


35 posted on 05/26/2014 6:51:45 PM PDT by Fiji Hill
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To: Brian Kopp DPM
If you go to a Catholic dentist they will put microphones in your teeth so the Jesuits can spy on you."

Why are people who are completely ignorant of Catholic organizations opining on it? Everyone should know that Catholic dentists are more in line with the Inquisition and are thus spy for the Dominicans.

36 posted on 05/26/2014 6:54:00 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (Republican amnesty supporters don't care whether their own homes are called mansions or haciendas.)
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To: KarlInOhio
Good point, thanks.

Calling Dr. Torquemada. Calling Dr. Torquemada.

37 posted on 05/26/2014 6:55:39 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: fullchroma

I did use the humor tag on the original post ...


38 posted on 05/26/2014 6:56:53 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

It’s generally in bad taste to make fun of the mentally ill, unless they continue to rant Democrat talking points. Just keep your distance, in case they are armed, and out of feces hurling range if possible.


39 posted on 05/26/2014 6:58:07 PM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy ("Don't compare me to the almighty, compare me to the alternative." -Obama, 09-24-11)
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To: heights

Yep. She once taught in the mathematics department at a Catholic college. They had to let her go for obvious reasons. But at least she has an excuse for her paranoid delusions.


40 posted on 05/26/2014 6:59:30 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: Vinylly

I was once treated by a guy who’s name was Dr. Prickett. XD


41 posted on 05/26/2014 7:02:10 PM PDT by RushIsMyTeddyBear (Great vid by ShorelineMike! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOZjJk6nbD4&feature=plcp)
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To: heights

Yep. It’s too bad she didn’t get a chance to share her theories about the Vatican and the UFOs.


42 posted on 05/26/2014 7:05:11 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: Brian Kopp DPM
so the Jesuits can spy on you

The Jesuits mostly aren't Catholic anymore.

43 posted on 05/26/2014 7:08:24 PM PDT by FatherofFive (Islam is evil and must be eradicated)
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

So you’re saying her bad behavior triggers yours? Well, whatever.


44 posted on 05/26/2014 7:13:11 PM PDT by BipolarBob
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To: dr_lew

“...Dentists are a crazy bunch at any rate...”’

You sound like an anti-dentite.

(I was just waiting for a post where I could say that!)


45 posted on 05/26/2014 7:14:12 PM PDT by jocon307
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To: The_Republic_Of_Maine

You didn’t know that? I thought everyone knew about the microphones in the teeth thing.

***
Oh, great! You two had to let the cat out of the bag! You are interfering with our world domination.


46 posted on 05/26/2014 7:14:43 PM PDT by Bigg Red (1 Pt 1: As he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in every aspect of your conduct.)
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To: Fiji Hill

I’m sorry. I can’t talk to you anymore...


47 posted on 05/26/2014 7:14:59 PM PDT by null and void (Disarm Hollywood! No Guns for Box Office!)
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To: cripplecreek

“Both sides need to stop doing it. Every time a Catholic and Protestant fight, a democrat gets his wings.”

LOL! And a non-funny version would have a muslim getting his wings.


48 posted on 05/26/2014 7:17:01 PM PDT by 21twelve (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2185147/posts 2013 is 1933 REBORN)
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To: null and void

Just use the cone of silence. You’ll be fine.


49 posted on 05/26/2014 7:17:06 PM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: Brian Kopp DPM

And if I speak in tongues will my embedded microphones understand me? LOL!


50 posted on 05/26/2014 7:19:41 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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