WARNING FOR 10/28

email

[TexanaRED]

I usually don't forward these but this one is particularly frightening.

Don't go to the bathroom on October 28th. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day.

[TexanaRED]

Anyone who takes a poop on the 28th will be bitten on the butt by an alligator. Reports indicate that organized groups of alligators are planning to rise up into unsuspecting American's toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business.

I usually don't send emails like this, but I got this information from a reliable source. It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife knows this lady whose husband buys hotdogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy who shines the shoes of a mailroom worker who has a friend whose drug dealer sells drugs to another mailroom worker who works in the CIA building.

Keep your pants up and your butts off that toilet on the 28th, folks. This could be a bad one!

[Jay W]

I opened up a brown glass jar with the label "Coffeemate" on it today, and was horrified to find white powder inside!

Even worse, there were instructions on the jar's label that you're supposed to spoon out some of the powder and stir it into your coffee.

Shouldn't the Homeland Security be notified or something? I mean, there could be hundreds of thousands of jars of coffeemate in grocery stores through out the country!

;-)

[ikka]

If it's me on the can, it's the alligator that's in danger of being the victim of "bioterrorism".

[PackerBoy]

CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day.

Should have read:

CIA intelligence reports that a major plop is planned for that day.

[MediaMole]

I was shocked to find a box full of white powder in the back of my refrigerator.

Additionally, my stepfather's cousin's brother's girlfriend's next-door neighbor's college roommate's friend's grandfather said that a large quantity of white powder has been discovered in the Gold Bond factory.

[socal_parrot]

This same threat had us scared sh*tless yesterday. Until it got pulled.

[Scythian]

that's anthrax infected alligators pal'

[Fraulein]

Alligators? You sure you don't mean "sewer lizards?"

Folks, you saw it here first!!

[america-rules]

"Gold Bond factory"

Oh-No, they have the pure powder ..Weapons grade?

[Yup!!]

This is a CRAPPY thread!!! LOL

[Joe 6-pack]

As a very young child, I remember being particularly terror stricken by the giant squid scene in Disney's version of Verne's, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." It took my parents about three days to get me back on the hopper. I had these visions of a giant tentacle reaching up from below!

[TexanaRED]

I missed it yesterday. Wonder how I did that since I was on FR almost all day! Oh well! Too many threads - not enough computers, hands and eyes to read them all!

I have had both my PC and laptop going on FR at the same time - while one thread was loading, I could read another. Hmmmm, think that is a indication that I might be addicted to FR?

[ArneFufkin]

This is the last time I'm going to tell you ... put vital stuff like this into "Breaking News." And then I'll duplicate the thread. We'll get those moderators off their butts!

Geez, some folks just can't get with the program! ;^)

[TexanaRED]

Well, you best then just go outside behind a bush cause if you gas the gators PETA is gonna be gunnin' for you!

[upchuck]

I DEMAND that someone explain to me exactly how having a National ID Card is gonna prevent that alledgedgator from biting me on the butt.

[TexanaRED]

Well dang! Screwed up again.! I'll try to do better next time. Wouldn't want those moderators having it too easy, would we?

[TexanaRED]

Tape it to your butt with duct tape?

[Mjaye]

Hmmm. Hill Street Blues had a plotline very much like this many years ago, as I recall. Something about alligators in the sewers, and Howard, the SWAT guy, was dispatched to handle the situation. A very funny show.

[socal_parrot]

I can use my post from yesterday:

FLASHBACK-My suggestion is to chow down on cheese the day before.

(Doesn't every thread have to have a cheese reference?)

[TexanaRED]

When I worked for NL Baroid and spent alot of time out on the drilling rigs, I wouldn't go to the bathroom until I was almost ready to explode. I was afraid I would get bitten on the butt by a spider. That was not an irrational fear either 'cause there were zillions of spiders. Walked in the porta potty one day and there was a huge trantula right next to the seat. Needless to say, I found someplace else to potty!