Hide Your Cows, Virginians

Free Lance-Star | 10.16.01

[Storm Orphan]

VIRGINIA - An 80-year-old man has been arrested on charges that he was having sex with cows in a Westmoreland County pasture.

Sherwin Balderson of Richmond County is charged with bestiality, Lt. Bill England of the Westmoreland Sheriff's Office said.

The alleged acts occurred Wednesday at a pasture in the Nomini Grove area off State Route 3. Balderson was charged the next day.

England said the cows' owner knows Balderson, but he didn't give him permission to be on the property "and he certainly didn't give him permission to be intimate with his cattle."

England said that Balderson's exploits were captured on film by county detective Merile Jones, who went to the property in response to complaints received by the Sheriff's Office. The alleged activity had been going on for "some time," he said.

The day Balderson was filmed going from cow to cow was the first time the camera had been set up, England said.

He was wearing only a T-shirt, tennis shoes and sunglasses when he entered the pasture, police said.

Balderson was intimate with at least three cows that day, England said.

England said Balderson's choice of pastures was apparently a random one. He said the suspect is well-known in that part of Westmoreland.

Sheriff Buddy Jackson said Balderson was taken for a mental evaluation after his arrest, but said he didn't know his whereabouts as of last night. Jackson said bestiality is a felony.

[Storm Orphan]

Three times? At his age?

[eastsider]

Three times? At his age?

He was obviously very moooved.

[OWK]

[nevergore]

Got Milk?

NeverGore :^)

[ResistorSister]

The cow: "I wanted Sherwin to love me for my mind."

[Coop]

Thanks a lot. We'll be going vegetarian tonight.

[Rebelbase]

Another Viagara abuse story.

[DoughtyOne]

Has anyone seen Balderson and Laden on camera at the same time??? I wonder...

[IGNATIUS]

Isn't he merely exercising his sexual orientation/preferance? Sort of picking on this poor chap aren't they? He can assert hate crime victim status(sarcasm).

[sweetliberty]

Could this be Usama incognito? HHHmmmmmm.

[Billthedrill]

England said the cows' owner knows Balderson, but he didn't give him permission to be on the property "and he certainly didn't give him permission to be intimate with his cattle."

Note to self: when bonking the neighbors' livestock, be sure to ask permission first...it's only polite, after all...

[Blade]

Weird.

[TrappedInLiberalHell]

...when threatened with a long prison sentence, he said "I will not be cowed! Milk this story for the udder nonsense it is! It's nothing but bovine feces. I'm sick to my four stomachs just thinking about it! It's the silliest thing I've herd! I won't let you put me out to pasture! Your slings and arrows just graze me. You people have some beef with me? You're making hay over this, and I'm hoofing it out of here!"

Do I win a prize for most concentrated bad puns? I didn't think so.

[AppyPappy]

Balderson was intimate with at least three cows that day, England said.

Maybe he was upset because they never looked up from eating during the act. "Ronnie was right. My third wife was a cow."

[Fearless Flyers]

This reminds me of the Arab that was caught molesting goats in the childrens zoo at Lincoln Park in Chicago ten years ago. Did anyone think to check the imigration status on this old man?

[spycatcher]

Let's hear it for the beastiaphobes. Without them we would be teaching this as a (spectator) sport in public school.

Just wait 5-10 years and let's see what recess looks like.

[jwsmith88]

Serious psychological trama could result from this incident. The poor man could be "cowed" for life. By the way, anyone have any idea what the penalty for this crime of passion would be? Do you think he would be sent to prison, or just put out to pasture?

[Grampa Dave]

Thanks for this innane but necessary break from reality!

I'm sure that Balderson's lawyers, ACLU or Libertarian or both, will find something in the constitution that protects his way of self expressment here. Then the case will be thrown out of court!

Then the mavens of Sun City in those retirement homes should pay to fly Balderson and his Viagra out to live with them. Their retirement home should provide free room and board and a stipend plus free Viagra and hire him as their new recreational director! He will be a big hit to at least 3 of these mavens each day!

This man is a living legend, and he should not be punished for his constitutionally protected way of self expression!