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ANN COULTER: THE EUNUCHS ARE WHINING
Yahoo! ^ | 10/31/2001 | Ann Coulter

Posted on 10/31/2001 6:37:34 PM PST by Pokey78

We've finally given liberals a war against fundamentalism, and they don't want to fight it. They would, except it would put them on the same side as the United States.

With the media suffering from fainting spells, the country is being run by people who can splice cables and land jets on ships in the dark of night. These are men, a subspecies of Americans heretofore invisible to the elites. But now the elites are complaining that the men aren't working fast enough.

Not exactly smashing stereotypes of liberals as mincing pantywaists, the left's entire contribution to the war effort thus far has been to whine. In lieu of a military response against terrorists abroad and security precautions at home, liberals would like to get the whole thing over with and just throw Jerry Falwell in jail.

Walter Cronkite, better known as president of the Ho Chi Minh Veneration Society, has compared the Rev. Falwell to the Taliban. In response to Falwell's comment that gay marriage and abortion on demand may not have warmed the heart of the Almighty, Cronkite proclaimed it "the most abominable thing I've ever heard."

Showing the dispassion and critical judgment that earned him the moniker "the most pious blowhard in America," this self-serving, multimillionaire Martha's Vineyard boob accused Falwell of "worshipping the same God as the people who bombed the Trade Center and the Pentagon (news - web sites)."

Liberals compare Jerry Falwell to the Taliban, but then are furious with George Bush for not being Jesus Christ. Evidently, what a president is supposed to do when the girls are scared is develop complete omniscience and omnipotence. Thus, the media repeatedly expound upon the proposition that what Bush should have done in response to the anthrax mailings is: Instantly produce the culprits and put an end to this madness!

The New York Times has been issuing daily harangues on this point. The cover story of last Sunday's Week in Review section ("Efforts to Calm the Nation's Fears Spin Out of Control") lectured Bush: "People in the grip of fear want information that holds up, not spin control."

Men are out in the driving rain trying to change a tire, while the womenfolk sit in a warm roadside cafe demanding to know what's taking so long. Just pipe down! The men are working as fast as they can.

In fact, no one is in the "grip of fear" over anthrax except the media and their most gullible targets, liberal women. Liberal soccer moms are precisely as likely to receive anthrax in the mail as to develop a capacity for linear thinking. But the media are working overtime to create a Princess Di-like hysteria in Manhattan suburbs.

Every death, including the thousands murdered in the womb every day, is sad. But let's not forget that the mass mailing of anthrax spores has killed only four people so far. These are tragic occurrences, as are the deaths from car accidents, drowning and fire since the attack. So far the anthrax mailings don't hold a candle to the slaughter of 9-11.

But the Times is furious with Bush every single moment he delays in bringing back the halcyon days when liberals could attend Calvin Klein fashion shows free of anxiety. "Again and again in recent weeks, administration officials tried to reassure the public; again and again, the situation proved more serious than the officials had suggested."

It seems that a more soothing response to a bio-terrorism scare would be for the administration to have God-like omniscience about the anthrax mailings, including predicting all future mailings.

Frank "No, No, Nanette!" Rich recently emitted an interminable screech on the op-ed page of The New York Times denouncing the Bush administration for not solving the anthrax cases already: "The most highly trumpeted breakthrough in the hunt for anthrax terrorists -- Tom Ridge's announcement that 'the site where the letters were mailed' had been found in New Jersey -- proved a dead end."

As Irish playwright Brendan Behan said: "Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: They know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." (It's no surprise Rich is afraid of the mail: He's afraid of me. Just last night he refused to be in the "Politically Incorrect" greenroom with me.)

Go listen to a Rodgers and Hammerstein sound track and try to stay calm, Frank. Patriotic Americans are doing their best to protect theater critics quaking in their Upper West Side redoubts.

Maureen Dowd, another hysterical Times columnist, is still indignant that George Bush wouldn't have asked her to the prom. "Polo at Yale is a bit different than the Afghan version," she sniffed. Three weeks into the war and she's already calling it "Operation Quagmire."

Women -- and I don't mean to limit that to the biological sense -- always become hysterical at the first sign of trouble. They have no capacity to solve problems, so instead they fret. But despite the fearful fifth columnists whiling away the war naysaying America's response, we will win this war.

You just stay warm, girls; the men are fixing the car.


TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: coulter
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To: kaylar
Amen, sister. Sometimes it's danged embarassin'. Bird poop? For real???
121 posted on 11/01/2001 7:48:55 PM PST by ncpastor
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To: Pokey78
Marry Me Ann!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
122 posted on 11/01/2001 8:16:20 PM PST by Mike from California
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To: ~EagleNebula~
Ever read Sowell? Now there's somebody who writes from the heart and mind. He knows how to get the conservative idea across with no namecalling or self-aggrandizement.

OTOH, if I want to read conservatism from the standpoint of castrating bitchiness, AC's always my first choice.

123 posted on 11/02/2001 5:06:52 AM PST by Harrison Bergeron
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To: Scott from the Left Coast
" I'd say she wouldn't be too interested in a guy with nothing hanging."

Frankly shes got bigger stones then anyone in the Democratic party, Janet Reno included!
Smart, tough, personable and a major babe to boot. What a woman....

124 posted on 11/02/2001 6:48:09 AM PST by Kozak
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To: Pokey78
I have seen this posted for the past day and have just gotten around to reading it. What a masterpiece! Ann hit the head of the nail with full force. BEAUTIFUL!
125 posted on 11/02/2001 3:26:58 PM PST by Skooz
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To: Harrison Bergeron
AC seems to be able to sing only one note - "All liberals are sissies. Anybody who disagrees with me is a sissy." It was stale two years ago. It's as dry as dust today.

Stale, dry as dust and true.

126 posted on 11/02/2001 3:29:06 PM PST by Skooz
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To: Pokey78
I LOVE ANN COULTER! Bump for others who may have missed it first time around too...
127 posted on 12/23/2001 10:58:32 AM PST by Mr. K
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To: Pokey78
Women -- and I don't mean to limit that to the biological sense -- always become hysterical at the first sign of trouble. They have no capacity to solve problems, so instead they fret.

Harry Browne comes to mind.

128 posted on 12/23/2001 11:02:52 AM PST by Roscoe
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To: Pokey78
Another good one by Annie.
129 posted on 12/23/2001 11:14:55 AM PST by SemperFidelis
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Comment #130 Removed by Moderator

To: Pokey78
Men are out in the driving rain trying to change a tire, while the womenfolk [and the liberal cherry-boys] sit in a warm roadside cafe demanding to know what's taking so long.
131 posted on 12/23/2001 11:27:51 AM PST by Excuse_My_Bellicosity
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To: Pokey78
This is great stuff. Damn, I so tired of the liberal feminist drivel that infests the mainstream media. Any little thing that a guy says is construed by them to be sexist, but it is okay for them to sit around and say, "Men are so stupid. They think they know everything. We are treated so bad. Blah blah blah..."
132 posted on 12/23/2001 11:30:36 AM PST by Excuse_My_Bellicosity
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To: Pokey78

Well-deserved bump.


133 posted on 09/21/2008 3:49:31 AM PDT by Silly (PalinLove.com)
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