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Urban Legend Haiku
n/a ^ | even date | self

Posted on 01/17/2002 4:50:52 AM PST by LN2Campy

Haiku...Urban Legends -- two intermittently occuring topics on this esteemed forum. Why not combine them??

What's this on mirror?
"WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF AIDS!"
One night stand of DEATH!!

It's strange to awaken
In a bathtub full of ice.
HEY - where's my kidney!?!

"Speed trap" I flash them
As a helpful motorist
Only to get shot!!

OK, folks, knock yourselves out!!


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: students
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To: Slyfox
Wind roars in my ears
The heat burns, the noise deafens
The mesa grows large.
151 posted on 01/17/2002 10:28:11 AM PST by gridlock
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To: f.Christian
A rabbit you say
Was it the Easter Bunny
Or a dead mongoose.
152 posted on 01/17/2002 10:29:57 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: fish hawk; uglybiker
Silly syllables
Who cares how it sounds anyway?
Get me out of here!
153 posted on 01/17/2002 10:31:13 AM PST by Neets
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To: VRWCmember
I bow to your wit.
Unmatched haiku I have seen.
Humbled by genius.
154 posted on 01/17/2002 10:33:18 AM PST by Grit
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To: LN2Campy
Cuddly Fido
Rejects Friskies. Of course,
The Mexican rat.
155 posted on 01/17/2002 10:34:04 AM PST by Gumlegs
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To: Reply 491
Don't get tinfoil hat
Go to K Mart before crash
Buy some tin foil pants.

(or Martha Stewart Iron Pants)

156 posted on 01/17/2002 10:35:53 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: CheneyChick
Urban-Haiku #2
=========

Smoking bananas,
Zap Fifi carefully, else
Pup no more frisky.

-bwteim




157 posted on 01/17/2002 10:36:11 AM PST by bwteim
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To: fish hawk
Money grows on trees...
the liberals rape-destroy the productive---
to breed like rats!
158 posted on 01/17/2002 10:38:47 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: fish hawk
One can get obsessed with Haiku. It's starting to effect my work. This happened on the job just the other day:

This is a stickup
Put all the money in the bag
Please don't call police!!!

Gee, Fish Hawk, questions --
Present position problems?
A new line of work?

(Look at me. I am now posting conversations in Haiku.)

159 posted on 01/17/2002 10:39:14 AM PST by Slyfox
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To: fish hawk
Yeah, well, Haiku is creeping into my after work life. As I told the bartender yesterday:

I've had a rough day
Don't stop refilling until
I'd do Hillary

160 posted on 01/17/2002 10:39:36 AM PST by Freemyland
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To: Freemyland
Very funny I give you a giant LOL.
161 posted on 01/17/2002 10:42:34 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: Slyfox
Perhaps fish hawk should
Go legit with his talents
and run for Congress
162 posted on 01/17/2002 10:42:44 AM PST by Freemyland
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To: gridlock
You forgot the title:

SPLAT

Wind roars in my ears
The heat burns, the noise deafens
The mesa grows large.

There, that's better.

163 posted on 01/17/2002 10:43:13 AM PST by Slyfox
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To: fish hawk;OneidaM
You're not invited
You'd look ugly in a dress
Stay in Hawaii


164 posted on 01/17/2002 10:43:31 AM PST by uglybiker
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To: LN2Campy
Past that happened not,
See, he's only fifty-nine,
Alzheimers has hit.
165 posted on 01/17/2002 10:44:10 AM PST by Doctor Doom
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To: SarahW
They took all I had
Except for film, and toothbrush
One week later: DOH!!
166 posted on 01/17/2002 10:44:26 AM PST by ben richards
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To: Freemyland
Carter--Clinton/gore...
architects of the millenium---
big hole in your head!
167 posted on 01/17/2002 10:45:02 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: Freemyland
Freemylands idea
But I wont run for Congress
Applied IRS.
168 posted on 01/17/2002 10:48:15 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: uglybiker
This has been fun...but
Got to go to Post Office
Your ass is bookmarked!!!~~{;^D
169 posted on 01/17/2002 10:53:38 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: coloradan
Weenie hooks to right,

Only intern knows for sure.

First Lady, not even.

170 posted on 01/17/2002 10:58:10 AM PST by ErnBatavia
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To: fish hawk
Chelsea almost kill'd
Whilst jogging nine-eleven
Bush tax cut on mind.
171 posted on 01/17/2002 10:59:29 AM PST by LN2Campy
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To: LN2Campy
Wedding Bells ring
Trip to the tanning parlor
Cooked from the inside!
172 posted on 01/17/2002 11:01:05 AM PST by noone
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To: LN2Campy
So many haiku--
What a bunch of gundeckers;
Ought to be working!!
173 posted on 01/17/2002 11:01:35 AM PST by LN2Campy
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To: noone
Mom'll fix those nits
Kerosene them damn suckers
My Marlboro -- WHOOOOOSH
174 posted on 01/17/2002 11:05:13 AM PST by LN2Campy
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To: noone
Procreation device...
no defenses-trickery---
reality is relentless!
175 posted on 01/17/2002 11:08:52 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: LN2Campy
O Eddie Haskell
Rumored to be Johnnie Wadd
But small in the pants
176 posted on 01/17/2002 11:10:15 AM PST by Jhensy
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To: Jhensy
How long before...
monica blubber beauty---
is put back to sleep!
177 posted on 01/17/2002 11:20:45 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: f.Christian
Mrs. Condit calls...
you answer the phone---
surely you will die!
178 posted on 01/17/2002 11:27:10 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: uglybiker; oneidam; dubyaismypresident; constitution day; vwrcmember; Students
5, 7 & 5
She heard the haiku calling
Work? What's work? I FReep.
179 posted on 01/17/2002 11:29:04 AM PST by RikaStrom
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To: f.Christian
Germ warfare...
testing grounds Florida---
this won't backfire?
180 posted on 01/17/2002 11:31:38 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: noone
Poor seven year old!
Cancer, horrible illness!
Wants to get postcards.
181 posted on 01/17/2002 11:32:12 AM PST by noone
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To: noone
Athiest O'Hair
In Court with the government
No Christian TV!
182 posted on 01/17/2002 11:37:14 AM PST by noone
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To: f.Christian
Protections racket...
We need a hit MAN---
bull--janthrax has balls!
183 posted on 01/17/2002 11:40:44 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: f.Christian
Komoto dragons...
Mama--papa--baby lizzards---
one bite-kiss--so long!
184 posted on 01/17/2002 11:44:49 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: ErnBatavia
Monica is mad
Hold her at the East Gate, please.
Eleanor inside.
185 posted on 01/17/2002 11:51:25 AM PST by gridlock
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To: f.Christian
Read Darwin Awards
laugh out loud at idiots
I'll live forever
186 posted on 01/17/2002 11:53:41 AM PST by ValerieUSA
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To: VRWCmember
Sheer brilliance
187 posted on 01/17/2002 11:56:02 AM PST by MassExodus
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To: Slyfox
Searing course of flame,
Roars away with sonic boom.
Distant "puff" on mesa.
188 posted on 01/17/2002 11:57:30 AM PST by gridlock
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To: gridlock
whale explodes
large chunks of mammalian protein fly
All-State buys Cadillac
189 posted on 01/17/2002 12:02:21 PM PST by muleskinner
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To: fish hawk
You bit off my face

Bad lizards! Bad lizards! Bad!

I'm now lizard poo

190 posted on 01/17/2002 12:08:14 PM PST by Cogadh na Sith
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To: ValerieUSA
Vampire liberals...
one ride in the pimp mobile---
knuckles-knees touch ground!
191 posted on 01/17/2002 12:10:27 PM PST by f.Christian
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To: f.Christian
f. Christian Haikus

3-6-4 syllables--huh?

What up wit dat, yo?

192 posted on 01/17/2002 12:20:22 PM PST by Cogadh na Sith
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To: chookter
I'm counting fingers,
Suddenly, the lights go out!
Time to go home, Dude!
193 posted on 01/17/2002 12:34:25 PM PST by gridlock
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To: RikaStrom; uglybiker
Freeping on the job
What else is there to do here?
Freep, and freep again.
194 posted on 01/17/2002 1:05:00 PM PST by Neets
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To: chookter
Batman goes,"pow","bam"
Onomatopoeia
Buddy just goes,"splat".
195 posted on 01/17/2002 1:26:40 PM PST by fish hawk
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To: LN2Campy
Headless corpse passes
On motorcycle, next lane
(Flying sheet metal)
196 posted on 01/17/2002 1:28:59 PM PST by SerpentDove
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To: gridlock
Andromeda's glow
Trevelled for two million years
To twinkle my eye.
197 posted on 01/17/2002 1:35:30 PM PST by fish hawk
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To: Grampa Dave
No more fishing tales?
They have gone to the rivers
Flys more fun than words.
198 posted on 01/17/2002 1:40:55 PM PST by fish hawk
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To: fish hawk
You blew it, fish hawk
Onomatopoeia gots
just six syllables
199 posted on 01/17/2002 1:41:34 PM PST by Cogadh na Sith
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To: chookter
When I was a kid and made a bad face my mom used to say,"watch out or your face will stay that way". Well:

Talking in Haikus
Can become a bad habit
People are staring.

200 posted on 01/17/2002 1:47:22 PM PST by fish hawk
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