FReegards...MUD
"Mr. Prez'dent"
(To be sung to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Mr. Banker")
Ummm yeah...oooh...
Mr. Prez'dent...Dubyuh, please...
How much does Justice mean?!
Won't you please INDICT McAuliffe?!
Won't you do this thing fer me?!
Got yer White House...you got the Power!!
All I got, George...is my guitar!!
But you can have that, Mister Prez'dent...
When you INDICT McAuliffe fer me!!
Oh Mister Prez'dent, please...
Listen to how it sounds...
(MUD harpin' fer his dinner and The Big Man puttin' a hurtin' on his Les Paul)
One more time...
I should not be here...on my knees...
But hey, Mister Prez'dent...Justice means that much to me!!
Won'tcha reconsider, Dubyuh...
Won't you just INDICT Terry?!
I told ya, Dubyuh...
Got yer White House...you got the Power!!
Clinton killed them Waco children...Slick left a scar!!
Won't ya help us, Prez'dent Dubyuh...
Won't you INDICT McAuliffe fer me?!
Oh, Mister Prez'dent, please...
Mudboy Slim
Good stuff, my FRiend...MUD
"The Sky Above and Ol' MUD Below"
(To be sung to Tom Russell's "The Sky Above and the Mud Below")
Two Libs strolled in from the South...one rainy Autumn night...
The sky above...and the mud below...
They walked into Ol' Mudboy's Bar...they were DemonRATS by sight...
Big Guy's above...but there's MUD below...
They flashed their Guv'ment Credit Card...
"You'll pay, Slim!!" Slick Willie charged!
Ol' Mudboy slams their liquor down...
Dem Lib'rals start to drinkin'...
Their souls were Void and Black...they FED on Voter's FEARS!!
The Sky above...and Ol' MUD below...
Two Lib'rals oh-so-Powerful...rumor wuz Dem boyz were queer...
Their LIES disturbed Good Ol' Mudboy so!!
Then JimRob FReeped in, "That beats all...
Slick's "WANTED" poster's on Slim's wall...
Bill Clinton and McAuliffe...
TRAITORS from the White House!!"
Now them Lib'rals they were Chi-Com Whores...National Security they attacked!!
They're LYIN' SCUM!! Tell 'em MUD said so!!
They prance amongst their Medyuh Bores..."Gravitas" them Leftists lack...
Good Lord's above...got Ol' MUD below!!
At Mount Carmel near WacoTown...thuggish Slick BLITZKRIEGED that Compound...
Two dozen children's deathly howls...
One FACT...the Left's avoided!!
Now Ol' Mudboy was a FReeper...who's known Slick's a DISGRACE!!
Slick's LYIN' SCUM...tell'im MUD said so!!
MUD owned that Bar and a memory...Medyuh Whore'd could not erase!!
Lord's high above...got Ol' MUD below!!
Yeah, Mudboy he could FReep in verse...
The Culture War Right SHALL reverse...
MUD's a Patriot, folks, the Left he'd CURSE...
One man you did not anger!!!
Lord's high above...got MUD below...
Remove Slick's stain...RE-IMPEACH the 'HO!!
Two Lib'rals who did not know...
How much Slim loves this Nation!!
Slick Willie, he's the bold one...MUD inquired about his "quirks"...
"You'll fry," said Bill, "'cuz I run this show!!"
T-Mac said, "Mudboy, we RAPE Sheeple...'cuz they're helpless twirps...
We're LYIN' SCUM...but OUR Base don't know!!
Slim, $18 Million I did snake...
From Global Crossings' clueless skanks!!
Boy, read the polls, Ol' Dubyuh's tanked...
Big Guv'ment's on a roll!!!"
Well, these DemonRATS they wuz IGNORANT...they didn't know who Mudboy wuz...
Good Lord's above...got Ol' MUD below.
That FReeper's face grew darker...folks, MUD measured every word...
The sky above...and the mud below...
"You Commie-Pinko sons of bitches...
Feel my wrath, you TREAS'NOUS Wretches...
RESIGN NOW...LEAVE DEECEE QUICK!!!
Yer Free Days are a dwindlin'!!!"
Slick Willie ABUSED the I.R.S. ...Bill's tryin' to take OUR Guns...
Slick's spies were called....they attacked Dubyuh!!
Too late 'cuz MUD had a groooovy sound...and a flamin' writin' pen...
Lord's high above...we got MUD below!!
Slick called his Leftist Minions near...
MUD's just grinnin' EAR-TO-EAR!!! )=^D
Said, "Court's in Session...hear ye, hear...
You're all done Presidin'!!!"
Well, T-Mac's Trial commenced and folks did sing...Bill's denials were a JOKE!!
You LIE with pigs...you forfeit yer soul!!
MUD said, "We'll cut Big Guv'ment, boys...we'll cut taxes fer ALL good folks!!
Slick's LYIN' SCUM...and the Left MUST know!!
The Constitution it says somewhere...Crimes are Crimes...Justice Don't Care...
Covet not thy Neighbor's Share...
That's why we fought the Revolution!!"
Now that ol' Times-Dispatch headline...hangs framed on Mudboy's Wall...
"Clinton DETHRONED...Lib'rals DESTROYED at Polls!!"
Next to MUD's "Reagan Portrait"...Dutch points Rightward from a horse...
Blue skies above...sure do miss him so.
Folks, Dem twisted Lib'rals must be whacked...
Our Country's SOUL, Left has attacked...
Slick's TYRANNY Right SHALL retract...
Bill shouldda stuck to Guv'nin'!!
Blue skies above...clear stream below...
The Lib'rals' reign...is damnear o'er!!
The Clinton Curse has been DETHRONED!!
We celebrate Truth's New Mornin'!!!
MUD (9/25/00)
Suppose that you were elected President in November through a inexplicable, massive write-in campaign. Suppose, also, that you meet the age, citizenship, and all other requirements to serve as President. Suppose, also, that a like-minded Congress was elected as the overwhelming majority, and that they have publicly pledged to support any policy you decide to pursue.
What would be the ten most important things you would accomplish in your four years as POTUS?
I'll post my answer after everyone else today. But I'll warn everybody: you probably won't like my answer. =)