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I'm Soo Screwed
MY WAR: - Fear and Loathing In Iraq ^ | August 10, 2004 | CBFTW

Posted on 08/10/2004 1:27:53 PM PDT by Cannoneer No. 4

I never even knew what a Blog was until I read about them in an article in Time Magazine, about two months ago. I read the article and it mentioned how a lot of the soldiers down in Baghdad were writing about their experiences here in Iraq. After reading the article, I went down to the Internet caf‚, and checked them out, and a majority of them were just pure garbage. In fact nauseating. Its like they were written by armed forces recruiters, "Oh I love the Army, I'm soo glad to be here, oh, the Iraqi's love us, I feel like were doing the right thing" That kinda crap. Nobody was telling it like it is. So I said f**k it, I'm going to do one.

I was at the point in my deployment where the letters from friends and family were getting fewer and far between, and I needed something to combat the extra time and loneliness that being on deployment hits you with when you've been here for awhile. So I though doing a blog might be a fun thing to do, help kill some time.

And it worked, time started flying by once I stated this thing. I had no idea how to write or form a sentence (I still don't) but I figured what the hell, just do it. Like I said before, the Clash didn't know how to play their instruments when they started jamming, they just played, and that was the mindset I had when I started this.

At first I was getting about, 50 hits a day, then 100 hits a day, then a thousand hits a day, then three thousand hits a day, then 5 thousand hits a day. That was like a month ago when I had a counter. (Some reason it disappeared one day) Its scary to think how many hits a day I get now.

Since then, I've received e-mails from people in the Pentagon (saying: Everybody here reads it and loves it here!) a White House aide, a Wall Street Journal Journalist, several well known and lesser known journalists, a lady in Chicago asked if it was OK to do a play based on this blog, College Professors, One Professor who wants to bring up my blog in his class curriculum, Vietnam Vets, Gulf War Vets, WWII Vets, Police Officers, Authors, Literary agents, musicians, A girl in LA that wants to write a screenplay about this blog, a lawyer in DC who thinks my writing is a diamond in the ruff and offered for him and several other lawyers to help me pay for some of my College tuition when I get out, relatives from soldiers, soldiers in all the branches, soldiers in Iraq, lonely women, truck drivers, soccer moms, the list goes on and on.

It was insane the e-mails and responses I got over time. I was also amazed by how many good people were out there. Totally heart warming. And every e-mail I received was telling me how they loved my sh*t and how what I was saying was soo much better then the sh*t the media showing. I was making the war much more real to people by sharing my experiences with them. And they were telling everybody they knew about it. One guy even told me he heard some people discuss about this blog in some pub in Europe.

I had no idea it would get as big as it did, and as fast. I also knew that time was probably ticking on how long I could keep this thing up. What would Hunter S. Thomspson do in a situation like this? He'd probably "Buy the ticket, and take the ride." So I did.

I continued blogging and writing. So today I'm walking back from chow, and my Plt Sgt is outside my door waiting for me and he said, The Col. wants to see you, hurry up and go shave, I'll be back in 15 to take you down there.

My heart sank. Sh*t. I know exactly what this one is about. Its like that feeling you get in high school when you'd f**k up, and they'd call your name over the loud speaker and tell you your presence was needed in the principles office, and you know the police are there in the principle's office waiting for you. Not good.

I stepped inside my room, and my roommate was inside and he said, "Sh*t man! The B.C. was just here looking for you!!" F**k. I'm dead. I felt more scared now then I did on the 5th of Nov. The Battalion Commander AND the Col wants to see me?! All of this reminds me of the classic 80's movie, Pump Up The Volume, where the main character is in high school, and who is kind of a loner, listens to punk and skates, and does that underground radio station, which nobody at his school knows about, and it gets bigger and bigger until finally he gets caught and busted.

Nobody here in my Plt knew of my site till about a week ago. I told a couple close friends. Just last week I had a soldier tell me, yea, I just talked to my aunt, she knows nothing about the internet and she asked me about a "blog" thing that she reads done by a soldier in the Stryker Brigade. A couple days ago at the Internet caf‚, I looked over at the person next to me and he was reading my Blog, totally unaware he was sitting next to the author. So I saw this one coming.

The Full Bird Col. wasn't around so my Plt Sgt walked me down to the BC's office, and all I could think about was latrine duty, being a Pvt again, loss of pay, or worse. When I got to his office I was sweating a lot. I don't think I was sweating from the heat, I was probably sweating more from being freaked the f**k out. My heart was beating at an accelerated rate as well now.

The BC is a pretty intimidating guy, he's like Patton meets Vince Lombardi with a little bit of Knute Rockne. Total hard charger kinda guy. The kinda guy infantrymen love. As I stepped in his office (I scanned the room with my eyes for MP's), he told me to take a seat and I did, nervous as all hell. My Plt Sgt sitting right next to me. He looked at me, offered me a cup of coffee, I declined and then as he walked to his desk he said, "You're pretty well read. I can tell right away that you're a reader."

Now I'm really sh*tting in pants. First off, he knows about my writting, second, I know from numerous experiences and bump ins with Judges, Probation Officers, principles, and police officers how something like this works, they always first start off with a nice compliment, and then they fry your ass.

He said "Youre a big Hunter S Thompson Fan, arnt you?" (pause) I said, "Uhhh, yes Sir." He said, "Me too, but I thought the movie was just pure garbage. Didn't do the book justice."

As I'm sitting there waiting for the guilty death penalty sentence to come out of his mouth, he asked me if I ever read "such and such by such and such." I was soo nervous and had soo many thoughts flying in my head I wasn't even registering what he was saying, I just said, "No sir, heard of him, but never read him." And then he said, "I'll let you borrow a copy of his book sometime, you'll really like him"

Then he sat down behind his desk and on his desk he had a huge file that looked to me to be about as thick as The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich. With his right arm that had his Ranger Bat. Combat Patch sewn on it, he started turning the pages, I could see the painting of Guernica on the first page as he flipped through it, and every single page had something I wrote highlighted in bright florescent yellow ink and a bunch of weird forms attatched to it and a bunch of papers. I could feel the sweat dripping down my face.

He calmly looked up and told me that my sh*t was really good, and he liked reading my stuff, and that I was a good writer. He even mentioned something about including it in the units history and archives.

That didn't relieve me one bit, like I said, it made me more freaked out. I'm waiting for him to say the word: "BUT" followed by my punishment. Then we discussed things, and he pointed things out, and told me things. I agreed with 100% of everything he was saying, and the final conclusion from what he told me was that I could continue writing, but maybe have my Plt Sgt read my stuff before I post. He stressed that he didn't want to censor me and that I still had the freedom of speech thing, as long as I wasn't doing anything that would endanger the mission.

I totally 110% agree with him on that one. I thanked him and I told him that I of course would not want to do anything that would endanger anybody here or back home, which is of course true. He suggested that I should look into getting this stuff published and made into a book someday.

Finally I walked out of his office, with a feeling that I had just dodged a full mag of AK47 bullets. I went back to my room, and my roommate was waiting for me all wide eyed and said "Well, what did he want?!?!?! What Happened?!?! You busted?!" I told him all about what happened. And then I said, "Well, the positive thing is that, at least he knows who I am now." And he looked at me and said, "That could be a good thing, or a bad thing."

This might be my last entry, I haven't decided yet to end this, or continue this. I don't know what to make of all this yet.

"These words I write to keep me from total madness."

-Charles Bukowski


TOPICS: Extended News; Foreign Affairs; US: California; US: Washington; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: 3rdbde2id; arrowheadbde; cbftw; mosul; sbct; stryker; strykerbde; wheeledarmor
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To: Cannoneer No. 4

Good question. ping me about the answer, please.


61 posted on 08/10/2004 5:55:47 PM PDT by perfect stranger
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To: Cannoneer No. 4
I was new to the unit, watching TV when he plopped down next to me on the sofa with a bag of popcorn and did something funny with his right hand on his left (the one closest to me) shoulder.

It turns out that if you make a circle with your thumb and your index finger, and the guy next to you sees it, he's got 5 seconds to break it, in which case he gets to hit you, or fail, in which case you get to hit him.

Oh yeah, that's him alright.

62 posted on 08/10/2004 6:34:08 PM PDT by Hoplite
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To: perfect stranger

see 62


63 posted on 08/10/2004 6:59:16 PM PDT by Cannoneer No. 4 (I've lost turret power; I have my nods and my .50. Hooah. I will stay until relieved. White 2 out.)
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To: mvpel
Yeah, but you don't need to know how to string two words together to graduate from most of the government run high schools in the us.
64 posted on 08/10/2004 6:59:26 PM PDT by dts32041 (Why has John "Fning" Kerry accused me of being a War Criminal? Viet Nam APR 70- NOV 71)
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To: BushCheney4America

I agree with you. If he would just read what he wrote. Under Bush he has received everything he needs. No pointing a rifle or gun and saying "Bang, Bang". What he said about Bush should be enough justification to vote for Bush. I am disheartened that our soldiers do not vote. Voting is a responsibility, not a privilege. But if they do not think through it any more than this soldier then maybe I am glad that they do not vote.


65 posted on 08/10/2004 7:00:30 PM PDT by waRNmother.armyboots
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To: Cannoneer No. 4; Hoplite

Thanks alot.


66 posted on 08/10/2004 7:08:33 PM PDT by perfect stranger
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To: ez; Cannoneer No. 4
"Can't tell from this whether he's pro or anti war."

Hell man..he's IN the war. Politics don't mean diddly squat when you're at the pointy end of things...lol.

67 posted on 08/10/2004 7:16:43 PM PDT by Khurkris (Proud Scottish/HillBilly - We perfected "The Art of the Grudge")
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To: Hoplite
It turns out that if you make a circle with your thumb and your index finger, and the guy next to you sees it, he's got 5 seconds to break it, in which case he gets to hit you, or fail, in which case you get to hit him.

Man! When I was in the 101st we did that all the time! I thought it was just something looney the guys there cooked up as I never ran into it anywhere else.

Tried it at my next unit and the folks would stare at this circle I made with my fingers like *I* was looney.

68 posted on 08/10/2004 7:16:57 PM PDT by VeniVidiVici (Designate - Infiltrate - Annihilate // Read my lips: More new taxes - John Kerry)
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To: Physicist
and he would always print photographs of all the anti-war protests in his papers, I guess to make it look like EVERYBODY in America was against Bush and the war.

Hey! Just like our media!

69 posted on 08/10/2004 7:31:11 PM PDT by tiki
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To: Cannoneer No. 4
Thanks for cutting the kid some slack, sir.

I'm impressed. Sounds like a good man to work for.

70 posted on 08/10/2004 7:32:25 PM PDT by fourdeuce82d
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To: VeniVidiVici

I figured it was an FSU frat thing - none of the 101st guys were particularly into it unless the LT was playing, and I didn't see it anywere else in my career either.


71 posted on 08/10/2004 10:21:22 PM PDT by Hoplite
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To: perfect stranger
Thanks alot.

I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, nobody can prove anything!

It looks as if Willy T. is from out in your neck of the woods - he was forever going on about the Civil War in Florida and how the Yankees got the snot kicked out of them in his home State.

72 posted on 08/10/2004 10:27:13 PM PDT by Hoplite
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To: Hoplite

huh?


73 posted on 08/10/2004 11:25:56 PM PDT by perfect stranger
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To: perfect stranger

Willy T. is now "Tomahawk 6", or the BC in the blog.


74 posted on 08/10/2004 11:39:07 PM PDT by Hoplite
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To: Cannoneer No. 4

Thanks - I now have his site bookmarked.


75 posted on 08/11/2004 3:28:14 AM PDT by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
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To: Egon

Thanks for the ping. I'm also reserving judgement, not having the experience base to evaluate authenticity. I read his blog some yesterday after I saw this thread, and just caught up (to #57). Hairy stuff!


76 posted on 08/11/2004 7:55:33 AM PDT by RhoTheta
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To: ez
The kid's just trying to stay alive, do his job, and tell it as he sees it.
77 posted on 08/11/2004 9:09:35 AM PDT by ImProudToBeAnAmerican (Bill raped, Monica swallowed, Hillary totally sucks.)
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To: steveo

The only difference i know if is that the army puts the word "hours" into it. Us navy medicine folk get to be a bit lazy, but most grunts are usually gungho about those things, strange "mistake"


78 posted on 08/11/2004 9:49:26 AM PDT by Docbarleypop (Navy Doc)
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To: Cannoneer No. 4

Where did you get the picture of my husband's COC? This guy is the real deal. Tomahawk 6 is my handsome husband. I've known him 22 years and there is not a finer man on the planet in my humble opinion. I'm glad to find nice things written about "big daddy".


79 posted on 08/22/2004 8:35:50 AM PDT by household6
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To: Docbarleypop

I'm married to Tomahawk 6. It isn't a bit contrived. This guy is talented and yes he did get counseled and encouraged to keep up his writing. Lots of Stryker wives enjoy the Blog, me included!


80 posted on 08/22/2004 8:44:34 AM PDT by household6
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