WORST HOLIDAY SONGS (Streisand at #4, just behind the "Jingle Bells" dogs)

NY Post ^ | December 7, 2004 | JOHN MAINELLI

[presidio9]

EVER been driven up the chimney by a Christmas song that you really, really hate? New Jersey researchers have named the six worst Christmas songs of all time, as picked by holiday-music fans who were asked to rate more than 600 yule tunes.

The biggest lump of coal goes to "O Holy Night" as sung by the foul-mouthed Cartman from "South Park," according to Edison Media Research.

Close behind are Seymour Swine & the Squealers' butchered "Blue Christmas," "Jingle Bells" by The Singing Dogs and, separately, Barbra Streisand — and "12 Days of Guido Christmas" by the Ha Ya Doin' Boys.

"We play — very lightly — the Barbra Streisand version of 'Jingle Bells' because she's got a following in New York," says Jim Ryan, programmer of top-rated Lite FM (WLTW/106.7).

"People tend not to like it because it's a really fast, up-tempo version of 'Jingle Bells' — almost like she did it as a goof," Ryan told The Post.

WPLJ (95.5 FM) music director Tony Mascaro says his research turned up a sixth song that listeners can't stand: Elmo & Patsy's "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer."

[presidio9]

She's only making them because there are idiots who will buy them.

[Ciexyz]

Thanks guys, thanks to this thread, I'm now humming non-stop "Simply Havin' A Wonderful Christmas Time".

[Smokin' Joe]

I always thought the Dogs were better than the Nose.

[presidio9]

Song list from "A Christmas Album," by B. Streisand.

1. Jingle Bells Listen Listen
2. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
3. Christmas Song
4. White Christmas
5. My Favorite Things
6. Best Gift Listen
7. Sleep in Heavenly in Peace (Silent Night)
8. Gounod's Ave Maria
9. O Little Town of Bethlehem
10. I Wonder as I Wander
11. Lord's Prayer Listen

(the Lord's Prayer? You have GOT to be kidding me!)

[Flying Circus]

Why did you have to mention that awful, awful song?!?!?!? Now I've got it running in my head. ARRRRGGGGG!!!!

[fritzz]

This is something I posted over at the canteen. Hope it's appropriate.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1296647/posts?page=269#269

[Gabz]

Now all that's left is the profane and silly stuff lest our quiet, dignified cultural celebration offend atheists and other Christophobe liberals.

Personally, I don't give a hoot if I offend any of them, but I do understand what you are saying.

I am by far not so naive as to not see it happening, but am fortunate in that so far it seems to have totally missed this small corner of the world I call home. There are nativity scenes all over, not just on private property and church property but on town and county properties as well. People wish others Merry Christmas and the towns hold Christmas parades. And there is still carolling in the town "squares."

[presidio9]

Streisand prays in the words Our Saviour taught us...

[fritzz]

I'll one-up you: Madonna's version of Santa Baby.

I can't better that one.

[Steve_Seattle]

"Mariah Carey can really screw up a song with her oversinging."

Oversinging and overinterpretation is a real occupational hazard for singers. My old hero Eric Burdon (The Animals) started out with a terse, meat-and-potatoes delivery, puncuated with his brilliant shouts and exclamations. Then he gradually became a "song stylist" (e.g., "baby" becomes "bay-bee-uh"), and now he's terrible in my opinion.

[fritzz]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1296647/posts?page=269#269

That's better.

[Antoninus]

I'd have to vote "Christmas at Ground Zero" by Wierd Al Yankovick my favorite humorous Christmas song.

When it comes to serious stuff, give me Handel's Messiah over just about anything else written in the last 300 years.

[from occupied ga]

The biggest lump of coal goes to "O Holy Night" as sung by the foul-mouthed Cartman from "South Park," according to Edison Media Research

HEY! That's one of my favorites. Especially where Garrison says "now we'll do the French words."

[Antoninus]

Sir Paul has had many lousy whoppers- Maxwell's Silver Hammer, Why Don't We Do It In the Road?, Fixing a Hole, Silly Love Songs, Let 'em In, The Dog Face Girl is Mine (with the Earth's favorite child molester, Michael Jackson), Ebony and Ivory (with Little Stevie Wonder), and that dreadful Christmas song already mentioned. Frankly, I hate Let it Be, Michelle, and The Long and Winding Road too but I'm sure I'm in a minority.

Ain't it the truth. For every "Maybe I'm Amazed," there were three "C-Moons."

[Hoodlum91]

Another line in that song..."Do they know it's Christmas time at all?"

Hmm...Probably not since the little starving Ethiopian childern are largely NOT Christian. Worst. Song. Ever.

[Hoodlum91]

One of the funniest! Actually, that whole album is pretty funny. Isn't "Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator" on that?

[Sprite518]

The worst by far is that one song that has all those 80's singers in it. I cannot think of the name, but every time I hear it.... It gives me a head ache and makes me want to barf. It is such a touchy, feelie, cat loving, bed wetting tune. Oh gosh I hate it. I believe Michael Jackson, Sting, and the Boss are some of the singers. I know you know what I am talking about. They are all singing together in a chorus. Boy I cannot stand that song.

[Hoodlum91]

The following is from "I AM SANTA CLAUS" by Bob Rivers & Twisted Radio.

Teddy the red-nosed senator
Had a very shiny car
And if you ever saw it
You were probably at a bar.
All of the other senators
Wondered how he got his dames
They thought he drank too many
To play in any bedroom games.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say:
"Teddy with your nose so red,
Won't you help me guide my sled?"
That's how the police found them
Wrapped around a maple tree
Teddy the red-nosed senator
He's a drunken S.O.B.