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I think it all depends on the child.

I was given everything: a new car at 16 and a college education.

I became a software engineer, and now I'm a SAHM. I'll probably go back to work to pay for my kids to have cars and go to college.

My husband had to work his way through college. It was very difficult for him. I don't want my kids to do that. They'll have enough trials and tribulations after college.

I think if your child is grateful for what they are given, then that is what is important.

My husband had to work his way through college. It was very difficult for him. I don't want my kids to do that. They'll have enough trials and tribulations after college.

Your husband learned some very valuable "life lessons" during his "difficult" time.

He had to work very hard for what he wanted.

How do you expect your children to be prepared for "enough trials and tribulations after college" - if they drive on 'easy street' (Mom and Dad will pay) until after college?

Just MO, but that is not the way my kids are going through college. Mom and Dad will certainly help, but they are going to have to work for it.

Again, just MO.

LVM

With respect to cars, you might want to at least have them kick in a good percentage. I knew innumerable kids in high school and early college who were given new, expensive, autos and subsequently trashed them, some repeatedly. I worked like hell to save for a car, and was, at the time, majorly surprised when the Parents kicked in 1/3 of the $2600 on my birthday. I ended up having that car for 7 years, and along the way learned proper "care and feeding" to the point that I had 6 others by the time I graduated college.

Our #1 son got a full ride at UMass Amherst. He was accepted at a couple of other 'prestigious' private colleges, but he judged that it would be more advantageous for him to finish undergraduate school debt-free. He's in his 2nd yr. of Cornell Law School and has taken out loans to pay for the tuition. We're helping him from time to time to cover rent, food, car repairs, etc, but he understands that it's 'on the tab', and he expects to repay us when he gets his first job.

#2 son didn't receive any scholarships, though his first year he received half the tuition in financial aid. After that, he did the full amount on loans. He finished in 3 1/2 yrs. to reduce the amount he'd be in debt when he was done, but he worked hard enough in that time to get two majors. He's now in Grad School at UT Austin, and thankfully, got a fellowship for that. He'll be paying the loans back when he's all done with school. Again, if he needs any extra cash, we'll gladly lend it, again 'on the tab'.

We told them both, and their younger brother and sister that we intended to have some cash on hand with which to retire, so we weren't paying for their college tuitions. We paid for them to attend Catholic Schools, except for the three years I homeschooled the younger two, and the final two years I'm homeschooling our daughter. But even then, she's taking classes at the local Community College, so there's tuition there.

I believe that if they think the onus is on them to repay the loans, they won't spend all their time goofing off, and will take their education seriously. It's worked so far. ;o)