Posted on 09/12/2005 10:14:21 AM PDT by FreedomSurge
Right-wing bloggers are always being accused of just parroting Republican talking points and being plants of Karl Rove. This bring up lots of questions about how do we get those talking points and how does someone become a Karl Rove plant. To help, I've come up with this helpful FAQ to answer the questions I know the answers to.
REPUBLICAN TALKING POINTS FAQ
Q. Does IMAO receive Republican talking points?
A. Well, I, Frank J., receive a fax at 6AM every day (including weekends) of the Republican Talking Points. I don’t share it with the other IMAO bloggers, and instead just browbeat them into saying what I want.
Q. Are these the same talking points all other Republican shills receive?
A. No, I get ones specifically tailored for bloggers. I assume politicians, pundits, radio talk show hosts, and FOX News get different talking points.
Q. Why are they sent by fax?
A. Apparently, Rove never caught up with 21st century technology - such as secure e-mail. He likes to personally sign the main copies as a sort of verification (see the picture of a talking point memo posted below). I'd explain digital signatures and what not to Rove, but I'm scared of him. At least they seemed to be composed on a word processor (or some ridiculously advanced typewriter from the seventies… whoops, that swipe was talking points from a year ago).
Q. How many other right-wing blogs out there receive talking points?
A. I wouldn't know the exact number, but, obviously, most of them do.
Q. How does a blogger get to receive talking points?
A. Most blogs were created at the behest of Rove and started out with talking points. I had gained interest from my work as a Republican in college as offered a large sum of money to start a blog to pretend that conservatives are capable of humor (we really aren't). It is possible to start a blog and then be approached by Rove or his henchman, but he seems to like more control over blogs than that.
Q. Do you share the money Rove pays you with the other IMAO bloggers?
A. This is "Frequently Asked Questions" not "Showtime at the Apollo," so enough with he jokes.
Q. What happens if you deviate too much from the talking points?
A. A certain amount of deviation is expected to make it seem like we're each our own individuals (e.g., hating monkeys is not on the talking points). But the power of the blogosphere is that we Republican shills all act in unison on some issue, so, if one blogger wanders too far off the reservation, then he or she will simply stop receiving the talking points. This will leave the person pointless and having to make things up like Drudge.
Q. Are there Republican talking points for podcasters?
A. Not yet. The IMAO podcast was originally Scott's idea (I only come up with ideas given to me by Rove). You'll notice how IMAudiO has less political content than the blog due to the lack of talking points. I am hopeful there will be talking points for podcasts soon (and more money for being that bigger a shill).
Q. Can I see a talking points memo?
A. Sure, here is a recent one, but please don't tell Rove:
Please do not mention the weather making machine. I repeat please do not mention the weather making machine.
I got mine on the same cell phone that the Neo-Con Conspiracy sent me the warning about the twin towers.
Ooooooh, they're so gonna make you give up your super-secret Republican attack machine decoder ring, now...
I am Karl Rove. I get my talking points from Conspiracy Guy at FR.
LOL! That's some funny stuff.
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