Woman in power is powerless when it comes to meeting men

http://www.mcall.com/ ^ | September 17, 2005 | Amy Alkon

[teldon30]

Dear Amy: I'd like to be in a relationship again, but I never even get asked out (unless you count frisky 85-year-olds and drunks at the corner bar). I'm a 32-year-old woman who's happy, sociable, and attractive. (I paid for college by modeling and continue to take care of myself.) I'm second-in-command at a big company, financially secure, and own a beautiful home. How can I meet men in general, and more specifically, men I'd actually want to date?

Deluxe Chopped Liver

Dear Deluxe: To scare away vampires, it takes garlic and crosses, which make ugly bulges in sleek, satin evening bags. Luckily, all you have to do to scare away men is pull out a business card that says ''senior vice president.''

''Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,'' said Henry Kissinger. Sure it is — unless you're a woman. Research by Stephanie L. Brown and Brian P. Lewis, published in Evolution and Human Behavior (Nov. '04), seems to confirm what many lonely women at the top already know: When guys go for the woman in the boardroom, it isn't the woman running the meeting but the secretary who wheeled in the coffee and croissants before it started.

Sure, plenty of men will scamper up the corporate ladder for a one-night stand. But, according to Brown and Lewis' study, men looking for dates or relationships tend to prefer their subordinates to their colleagues or bosses. The researchers hypothesize that men evolved to want women they can control as a means of guarding against ''parental uncertainty'' — unwittingly raising kids fathered by the Neanderthal next door as their own. Brown and Lewis think this may also explain why men are suckers for ''behavioral expressions of vulnerability'' — women who act like they might not be able to make it across the street

[JasonC]

(And the ones who can are mostly happily married already).

[FOG724]

Here here! Bravo!

[roaddog727]

"Clue: most blokes, myself included, like women who have at least some curves. Not women who look like stick insects on heroin."

Bingo!

ROTFLMAO!

[Darnright]

(c;

http://www.GothicMatch.com

Have at it, my good man!

[MadIvan]

Nein, danke. :)

Regards, Ivan

[apackof2]

Surprisingly few women can pass that simple test.

Oh I don't know about that...I bet there are quite a few here at FR that could pass that test hands down! :>)

[SpringheelJack]

As a lawyer, you shouldn't be surprised that men, confronted with a playing field stacked heavily against them, are less willing to be aggressive - at least those not so highly placed as to be above the law.

I don't think it's that, so much as an impression that a woman lawyer might look down upon them, purely in terms of social status. I mean, look at this woman in the article which started this thread. It's not that she isn't getting attention from men. She is. It's just that the attention she's getting she feels is BENEATH her.

[longtermmemmory]

I think many women live under the mistaken belief that their genitals are made of gold (or platinum).

They think they can do whatever they want in terms of behaving like a petulant overgrown woman and then as long as they "put out" SOME man will want them in the "my princess" sort of way.

Those women never understand, a man will be Mr. Romantic when he has a woman who is not only a lady, but HIS muse.

[lillybet]

Prince Charming has to be out there, just kidding, you forgot to mention the man that makes you laugh.

[thoughtomator]

I guess the question is, why would any man who is looking for anything serious consider a woman more committed to a career than to raising children?

[apackof2]

The problem comes from refusing to consider anybody who is not perfect

I agree

[Mama25]

Re your response to the idea that women liking to be pursued and courted is high school-like thinking: Well, **I** like it. Your mileage may vary. And I respond to it by baking incredible pie, among other things.

[stevestras]

You're a funny guy(for a goth).

I think this is really about age. As people grow older, they accumulate baggage. The more baggage you have, the harder it is to blend it with your potential partners baggage. In this case, the baggage is a personality that is not exacty warm and fuzzy. It doesn't have much to do with money/position/power. It has everything to do with the personality of the person holding them.

[corkoman]

Good comeback Ivan.

Dang, I need MadIvan's "Dinner negotiations with hot mamas for idiots" book.

[apackof2]

The pursing thing just bases the relationship on the man's ability (or, inability) to romantically dazzle the woman. And once they're married, it goes away (because the catch is made).

Biology 101

[pigsmith]

"There are few qualities that are more uninspiring than a lack of humility. I sense that there is this lack in the lady who authored the letter."

You're probably on to something there; one usually doesn't become 'second-in-command' at 32 by being humble.

[Darnright]

I wonder how your ad would do there:

Sensitive, dark, passionate-about-Winston-Churchill dude, looking for Maggie Thatcher type gothically inclined femmes fatales...

[gamarob1]

Well, **I** like it. Your mileage may vary. And I respond to it by baking incredible pie, among other things.

Well, **you** are welcome to seek it, since this is a free country and all. Just don't expect most men to go along with your charade. And I don't need your pie. I'd much rather have a woman who loves me without the "pursuing" game. She loves me for ME, not for my ability to pursue her in the way she wants. That's true love, to me. And to God, I believe, as He loves us as we are, not as we try to "dazzle" Him.

[LaineyDee]

You too!? Gee I never looked at it that way...I wondered why a man 15 years younger would be hitting on me, considering most men like women younger than themselves.....I guess that could explain it

Yes'm. I had to ask what the attraction was and the answer really made sense. As a society... we've missed the mark in training our daughters to be homemakers instead of home-mongers. (thank you wimmen's lib) lol These young men have very little to choose from on the domestic front and it's sad.

Tho I was very flattered by the attention... the generation gap was a little too wide for me. I guess we just don't "fit" anywhere, eh?

[MadIvan]

Those women never understand, a man will be Mr. Romantic when he has a woman who is not only a lady, but HIS muse.

Indeed. I'm never writing a poem for Miss Dior Watch.

I have the beginning of one floating around in my head, mind you -

June's countenance was fresh and fair
July's was passionate and wild
August's withered in the sultry air
But September greets me with a smile.

And as the air begins to cool
And the hint of woodsmoke begins to rise
I note that while the seasons follow rules
There is still room for a surprise.

The rest of the poem will come later when the appropriate lady arrives. I just hope she shows up before the end of the month!

Regards, Ivan