Posted on 11/29/2005 6:01:20 PM PST by Nomorjer Kinov
When the Firm Foundation Worship Center got the call that a family of nine escaping Hurricane Katrina had arrived in Westminster needing a house, church members jumped into action.
"They came here with nothing," said Marge DiMaggio, the church's co-pastor.
As quickly as possible, church members made a house on church property look like a home.
When the Brown family left on Sunday, the DiMaggios were horrified to find the house in shambles.
"Hurricane hits Firm Foundation," said Marge DiMaggio.
While answering the call in September, church members' hearts were filled with compassion for the unknown family.
"We brought our pillows over," said Marge DiMaggio, so the family could sleep well the first night.
The church laid new carpet donated by Altieri Builders, redid the bathrooms, found appliances and even hung curtains to make the old-fashioned white-frame house welcoming to the family.
They bought clothes, assembled beds out of mattresses donated by the Westminster Rescue Mission and stocked the pantry with food.
The Browns paid no rent and no utilities for the house.
On Sunday, the DiMaggios entered the house after church, at about 1 p.m., said Marge DiMaggio's son, Brian DiMaggio. The Browns left during church services, between 11 and noon, he said.
A lamp was smashed on the floor, the lampshade stomped.
The screen door was torn off the hinges and flung onto the back deck.
Someone cut a hole in the trampoline that belonged to Joann DiMaggio's children.
Curtain rods were ripped from the wall and left bent and dangling from one screw.
Clothing, potato chip bags, soda cans, socks and empty bags were strewn throughout the house.
A hole was punched in a bathroom wall.
In another bathroom, dried toothpaste was smeared on the vanity, a capless toothpaste tube on the windowsill above.
A big, broken pink plastic car was abandoned on the hill outside the house.
In a dirty refrigerator upstairs, someone left a coffee mug with an inch or two layer of coffee sludge in the bottom.
Dirty dishes were stacked in the sink or on the counters.
But in perhaps the biggest insult, the words "MD Sucks" were emblazoned in black paint on the side of the home.
"When our eyes caught this, we all stood here and froze," Marge DiMaggio said.
Unhappy in Maryland
According to 42-year-old Keith Brown, who with his wife and children was halfway back to their home state of Louisiana, the property was not misused.
"We cleaned up as much as we could," he said.
He denied painting "MD Sucks" on the side of the house. His wife denied knowledge of any vandalism.
Yet Brown, whose family was referred to the church by Home Services Resources of Westminster, admitted to being unhappy during his stay here.
"We had a lot of problems with people about the house," he said.
The DiMaggios would come in and sneak around when the family was out, he said. The DiMaggios would tell them they needed to clean up this and that.
"Living in that environment and having someone watching over your shoulder wasn't worth crap," he said.
Marge and Joann DiMaggio were stunned at Brown's angry response to their generosity.
"The house was so fresh two months ago," said Marge DiMaggio. "We didn't check up on them," she said. "We didn't lord over them. We had no idea."
A few times early on they did ask that things be cleaned up, but that was only natural, she said.
Further, Brown said, the family was never provided with money he said the church promised to help them return home.
"If I wouldn't have done some under-the-table work ... I would never have the money to come home," Brown said.
All of this, he said, left a bad taste in his mouth.
They had to fight to keep items given to them, such as one of the home's two refrigerators and a washing machine, he said. The DiMaggios, who let the Browns have the items, said they had believed the appliances were donated to the house, not the family.
Brown said the DiMaggios, having heard a rumor the Browns were leaving, insulted the family by showing the house to another couple without the Browns' permission.
The DiMaggios had a right to show the house to prospective renters, Marge DiMaggio said. "Frankly, we didn't need permission to bring someone in."
The prospective renters said the house was trashed, but they did not see any vandalism, according to Brian DiMaggio.
The Browns never thanked the church for what it did, Marge DiMaggio said.
"I don't know why they would have a bad taste in their mouth when everything was given to them," she said. "We gave them everything. They never paid for anything."
Natural response
Therein might lie the problem, said psychologist Harald Graning of Confidential Counseling of Westminster.
While the Browns might look like the ultimate ingrates, their response is not unnatural, he said.
"Suppose that you were living your life," he said, "and all of a sudden God came down and destroyed your house? You'd probably be pissed."
The anger that people feel under such circumstances needs to be vented and often isn't.
Unfortunately, the overwhelming generosity of others can backfire by intensifying the recipient's sense of anger and helplessness.
"You are forced to accept charity," he said. "It's demeaning."
Doing good makes the benefactor feel better, not the person being helped, he said. When the person on the receiving end can't repay the kindness and feels compelled to feel appreciative, he or she can become extremely frustrated. Acting out can occur.
Church members trying to make sense of the situation shouldn't feel rejected or upset their gifts were rejected, he said.
These people may or may not be trash; but the tables could be turned. I used to work for this company and we did a Christmas thing every year. One time this couple and their family came. They dressed as nicely as possible which was really pretty good; but were driving a really nasty looking car. I was so glad we could help them; but some of our people including the manager decided to read into these people and made their stay with us very unpleasant. I was absolutely mortified. These people did nothing to deserve this kind of treatment. They knew they were coming to a company and tried to dress accordingly; but to this manager they were taking advantage of us; which I believe was totally untrue. I believe they were as honest as they could be and I could have rung that manager's neck and the others that were so cruel. You could see the hurt in their faces after being treated so shabby by these ex co-workers.
Not all. We took in evacuees and they were wonderful to have around, helped us out with whatever they could, and constantly expressed gratitude -- to the point where I finally had to tell them to shut up! Now they have found their own place and sent us a huge bouquet of flowers when they were settled. As with anything else, all the media reports is the bad news. I'm sure there are many many other experiences like ours.
Breaks your heart to think of the disappointment of the folks at this church. You so want to see generosity rewarded in this life, sometimes, instead of having to wait to see it in the next.
>>>"Probably trashing the house is just part of their normal lifestyle"<<<
That kind of talk will get you roundly trashed here at FR and your own thread over at DU.
I learned that lesson months ago.
TT
As opposed to taking care of the place.
Further, Brown said, the family was never provided with money he said the church promised to help them return home. "If I wouldn't have done some under-the-table work ... I would never have the money to come home," Brown said.
I wonder how much effort he actually put in to finding a real job, versus just waiting for someone to give him cash in hand?
The lovely and gracious Brown family deserves much worse than what Katrina gave them.....
And here is the jist, the Lefty pricks telling you that its ok to be an arse and treat those helping you like crap....its God's fault after all...or maybe Bush's.
Did that family trash the enviornment? I don't think it matters if a few people from the church treated this family condescendingly or poorly--and who says anyone did. How does that merit the destruction of this house AND demanding that they should keep a washing machine, as well as a CONPLETE lack of gratitude????
Great! Let them go back to NO and see what they have to live in. Then when they discover there is noplace, they can go out and get a job and earn enough money to pay rent for less than what they were getting for free.
They are bitter and what comes out is anger and resentment - no matter what makes sense for a person that is well. I would bet money these folks were bitter before the hurricane because they are way too good at it.
During the evacuation when the refugees first arrived in Houston, we read about volunteers being belittled by individuals. It makes you wonder if love and kindness is a total stranger to some people. That is sad. This is what our welfare system produces - broken, bitter individuals. This is not true of all - but it is true for many.
That welfare doesn't work, we know; but if charity also doesn't work, where does that leave us? Aren't we commanded to leave the gleanings of our field for the poor and the widow, etc. etc., all through the Bible?
Key words right there. When you get everything for free, you appreciate nothing.
**When people never earn their own money this is how property and possesions get treated. ***
Several years ago we sold our house to a family who always rented in the past. For about 6 years they always called us when anything needed fixing, as they did not understand that THEY were responsible for repairs on their house, expecting us to fix them.
A few months after they moved in, the house looked to be well trashed.
My sister loaned her house in TN to a family from Katrina. They came in some fashion through her church. Anyway, nothing to this degree, but they were very messy and inconsiderate. Smoking in the house when specifically requested not to. Full ash trays lying around. Junk everywhere.
And something interesting. They came with virtually nothing, but picked up and left without notice (or cleaning up after themselves) and left behind a garage full of stuff. Donations we are assuming.
Altogether, they left a very bad taste in her mouth.
I am glad you had a good experience. My utter disgust with the population right now is at an all time high. I was at a town meeting with Nagin today and I am still so angry. You are right, of course, the media focuses on the ugly and the loudest people are always filled with negativity. I am just drained at the moment and all I see is laziness, stupidity, and ugliness. It takes a toll on ones outlook on their fellow man.
Just wait until all the evacuees get tossed out of the Hiltons and Marriotts after the holidays. The ones who have said 'all we do is lay around all day...you can't do nothin else'. The leftist press will scream bloody murder, and I'll wager the feds will cave. They'll put all these people up for life, with room service. And I will have to pay for them.
Am I a racist? I'm sure there are some hitting reply before I am even done typing this. But take me out of the equation and ask a simple question.... Now that things are looking up in NO, if this sort of thing were to happen again, would the same people volunteer their hospitality again? Or is that a racist question?
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