Posted on 06/06/2006 9:41:00 AM PDT by neverdem
Quite a few ampersands in three...
It is unbelievable that Psychologists charcterize losing your temper while driving as a disorder but being gay is normal. A person who cannot relate normally to the opposite sex and who are attracted to the same sex obviously have a serious DISORDER.
I have MDS. Manufactured Disease Syndrome is reaching epidemic proportions. Please help. Send as large a donation as I tell you to to...
three =there
;)
"Gee, Officer Krupke, I have a social disease!"
So many questions, so few answers.
BS overload, probably. It has been on the rise since "But your honor, he just needed killin'." has no longer been an acceptable defense.
Explosive disorder?
No, that's just a temper tantrum. Now, throwing the golf cart is IED!
The more people that are diagnosed with some kind of mental disorder, the more people that are disqualified from owning firearms.
Always think in terms of the END GAME.
In this episode: Citizen X is stopped and questioned by a Committee Member.
Scene: Unity in Diversity Way, a public thoroughfare, Grayburg, USA.
Citizen X! Produce your papers!
Yes sir. Which papers would the Committee Member like to see?
Don't play dumb with the Member, Citizen! I want to see all the papers you are required to carry when you leave your dwelling.
We'll start with your
Caloric Intake Ration Card
and your current
CO2 Personal Emissions Results.
Then I will need you to produce your
Contributions to the State Testimonials,
and
Permissions for Animal Companions
(if any).
Then your
Certificate of Tolerance
Personal Travel Limits License
Public Transit Compliance Forms
Personal Habitat Authorization
Allowed Personal Consumption Schedule,
your
Mullah's Permission to Marry or Cohabitate
and
Fitness to Propagate Adjudication Receipt
Sir, I can produce my CIRC, CPER, my CST's, PAC's, my CT, PTLL, PTCF’s and my PHA. Unfortunately, my AC ate my APCS, MPMC and my FPAR.
I see by your hat that you have been to Reeducation. Would you like to go again?
No sir.
You have one week to straighten out your documents. Your Neighborhood Lurker will be informed!
A fixit ticket?
That’s right, a fixit ticket. One week!
Damn...
Stay tuned for further Adventures of Citizen X!
While there might be possibilities to start a Foundation, just think of the tax dollars which will go to grant money to be pi$$ed down this rathole.
Uh-uh. Calm down now, or they'll diagnose you!
Just one thin mint
In this episode: Citizen X falls in love...
Scene: The lunch counter of the public cafeteria in the basement of the Lockstep Transient Authority Building, Grayburg, USA. The counter is deserted except for Citizen X. Behind the counter is a pert young thing apparently of the feminine gender.
I would like apple pie and coffee please.
Hahahahaha! This is the third time this week you’ve ordered pie. I’m gonna need to see your Caloric Intake Ration Card!
There’s an extra hillary in it for you if we forget about the card.
A hillary? No way. I’m not taking a risk like that for a damn hillary.
Ok, make it two hillaries. C’mon, I accidentally spindled my card. There’s no one else here...
Livin’ on the edge huh? I see by your hat you’ve been to reedu. It probably served you right...
Yeah, I’ve been to reedu but it was quite a while ago. I don’t have to wear the hat much longer.
I had a cousin who went to reedu. He said it was the best thing that ever happened to him.
Is he retarded?
What? No! He’s not retarded!
Brain damaged?
Um...slightly. So do you live around here? You’ve been coming in pretty often.
Yes. I’m allotted a ‘two hundred’ at the Stalin House over on Truth to Power.
Hahahahaha! Two hundred square feet at the Stalin? Who’d you piss off, your Mullah or a Committee Member?
Probably both...uh, I was wondering, umm, if you’re not too busy tonight, or, like, married or cohabitating, or prohibited in some other way, if, maybe you and I could maybe take a walk or something like that?
Tonight? I dunno. What’s the status of your Mullah’s Permission to Marry or Cohab?
It’s a little confusing. Hard to tell, really. My Mullah is the street corner variety. He only has a third grade education. I don’t think he really understands the forms.
Hmmm...sounds like you have paper work problems. My ex had problems too. What a nightmare! How about your Fitness to Propagate AR?
Well...I’m having problems locating that right now. I have it somewhere...
Shit! A botched MPMC AND no FPAR? I’d have the lurkers on my back so fast, I’D be livin’ at the Stalin! Damn, boy! What world are you living in? I’ll pass. I gotta get back to work! Later...
But....my pie?
Stay tuned for further Adventures of Citizen X!
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