Posted on 04/30/2007 10:10:39 AM PDT by Omega Man II
Al Gore Says Breast Feeding Deters Global Warming
By Biff Scuzzy
Apr 30, 2007, 09:02
NEW YORK - Former vice president Al Gore believes breast feeding can play a significant role in deterring the rise of global warming.
Speaking yesterday afternoon at the Earth Institute's annual solar picnic in New York's Central Park, Mr. Gore declared, "If one out of two mothers in developed countries were to breast feed their children, the mean temperature of the Earth could be lowered one degree by the year 2090."
As he stood beneath a banner that read, "Use your globes to save ours," the former vice president explained how the production, transportation, and preparation of one quart of cow's milk added to the increase in global warming, but the production of one quart of breast milk did not.
Mr. Gore was then joined on stage by his wife, Tipper, spokeswoman for the Earth Institute "Tits for Tots" campaign. Mrs. Gore removed her blouse and demonstrated proper breast feeding techniques on an infant mannequin.
After she had finished her demonstration and had acknowledged the cheers of the crowd, Mr. Gore shouted, "What Tipper just did would get her stared at and mocked in many public places in the United States, even though she's got a fine rack for a woman her age. I mean, any age. Are those some good-looking puppies or what?"
an image Mr. Gore then kissed his wife passionately before she quit the stage.
The former vice president concluded his remarks by urging lawmakers at the state and national levels to pass legislation making it illegal for anyone to stare at or to make lewd remarks about women breast feeding in public places such as buses, restaurants, and amusement parks.
"If you grew 'em, your kids can chew 'em," said Mr. Gore. "Hey, that would make a great campaign slogan, wouldn't it?"
Would that be the left bud or the right bud? And when did we start calling them buds anyway?
Umm Albie, women who breastfeed eat more, thus more food has to be grown and transported...
I dare ya to post this over a at DU.com, I double dog dare ya!
If you were to click the link to read the "article" at its source, you would find the following news stories as well:
In other news, Alec Baldwin has hired two extra body guards to protect him against possible reprisals from his daughter, Ireland, who is said to be livid because Mr. Baldwin called her a "rude little pig."
Other Headlines:
Rosie O'Donnell Replaced by Don Imus on The View
Sheryl Crow's Cat Demands More Litter Paper
Lindsay Lohan Falls in NFL Draft
Hugh Grant, Richard Gere, Alec Baldwin Make Apologies
I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that perhaps this story is satire.
I cant believe anyone is taking him seriously anymore!
This is satire, not real news.
AND, if every man would pee off the back porch, think of all the water we would save.
Guys, this is all Great news....it’s back to the caves.
yea, I gotta read the whole thing before responding.. And I did it twice... ugg
Still it says something that I would not be amazed if Al Gore came out and said this..
Al Gore Says Breast Feeding Deters Global Warming
Well, who would know better than the King Boob himself?
That Powdered Milk will be a little dry for those babies don’t you think Al?
Are we really that far away from x42 saying, “Hey darlin’, show me your tata’s and you could personally close the ozone hole by 10%!”?
Not quite a breast feeding ping. Funny parody though...
I concur!
Global warming is the religion of the left. Whenever a hurricane or heat wave hits, they raise their hands and shout “Praise Gore!”
“Take me to your ladder”
I guess Al thinks that only women can deter Gorebal Warming.
Nice try Al, didn’t know you had it in you!
Confucius say, “Woman down in cups get boob job.”
Just a joke, thank all that’s good and holy.
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