Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Climate change behind Duke rape case: UN's Ban [SATIRE]
Charleston Gazette Forums ^ | June 18, 2007 | Keli Kilohana

Posted on 06/18/2007 5:56:47 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana

UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said that the Duke rape case fiasco was triggered by global climate change and that more such rapes may be on the horizon, in an article published Saturday.

"The Duke rape case began as an ecological crisis, arising at least in part from climate change," Ban said in a Washington Post opinion column.

UN statistics showed that rainfall had declined some 40 percent over the past two decades, he said, as a rise in temperatures disrupted the North Carolina rain season. "It is no accident that the rape in Duke erupted during the drought," Ban said in the Washington daily.

When there was enough rain, he said, black field workers made a good living. But when Global Warming began to affect the rainfall in the Duke area, wealthy field workers like Crystal Mangum were driven to find other jobs—sometimes prostitution.

"For the first time in memory, there was no longer enough food and water for Crystal’s children. So, being a good mother, she became an exotic dancer.”.

The UN must stop Global Warming, he said, so that more than two million people exotic dancers may return to the more lucrative work in the fields.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: ban; mangum; nifong; un
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-33 last
To: Ditter

“You must not be a native to the Gulf coast, because this is normal.”

We did live in Houston for 3 years, but most of my life has been in the panhandle and northcentral Texas.

Places where rain in the summer is indeed rare.


21 posted on 06/18/2007 6:32:26 AM PDT by Mrs.Z
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: TomGuy

I hate what has become of the Weather Channel. I watched for an hour the other night waiting for the 7 day forecast, and all they had on was a show about a snowmobile accident. Then on Sunday before church, they ran through the 7 day so fast with a mini map so they could do a Home Depot feature about applying deck cleaner. The content to commercial ratio is sky high, and when they do have ‘content’ it is full of these ‘stealth commercials’. They cover global warming, weather stories, golf course stuff, allergy count, traffic reports, in short, everything but the weather.


22 posted on 06/18/2007 6:32:36 AM PDT by sportutegrl
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: sportutegrl

For anyone who is a little slow on the uptake, this is a parody off or the UN’s statement that the problems in Darfur can be blamed on Climate Change.


23 posted on 06/18/2007 6:40:29 AM PDT by teddyballgame (red man in a blue state)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana

How could ANYONE take the UN seriously??


24 posted on 06/18/2007 6:42:12 AM PDT by Fawn (If it wasn't for FR, I'd be having an Existential MELTDOWN..............right now)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kalee
When there was enough rain, he said, black field workers slaves made a good living. But when Global Warming began to affect the rainfall in the Duke area, wealthy field workers like Crystal Mangum were driven to find other jobs—sometimes prostitution. Is this a joke? Please tell me this is a joke.

C02 emissions began increasing during the latter half of the 19th Century, IIRC, so I felt compelled to point out what's really on his mind. No reason not to acknowledge a racist when we see one.

25 posted on 06/18/2007 6:51:56 AM PDT by bcsco
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Mrs.Z
I thought so, the panhandle of Texas is like a whole other state. We have dry cycles here on the coast too. I was trying to explain this to a native of India the other day who thought our constant rain was evidence of climate change. I asked him why he thought I drove a Cheve Tahoe and have for many years. He said to carry my big family? I said No, it’s so I can drive through water in the street.
26 posted on 06/18/2007 7:04:05 AM PDT by Ditter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Ditter

Wait till your Indian friend spends an August on the Texas coast.

He’ll feel like he’s back in New Delhi.


27 posted on 06/18/2007 7:07:56 AM PDT by Mrs.Z
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: Keli Kilohana

I can’t believe it’s not Scrappleface.


28 posted on 06/18/2007 7:08:00 AM PDT by NeoCaveman (http://dumplindseygraham.blogspot.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Mrs.Z
He’s not a friend just the guy who works at the dry cleaners. Listen to this, he lived in Florida before moving to Houston because he didn’t like the Florida weather. Texas has everything Florida has only it gets hotter here. He didn’t seem to be the brightest bulb, but he did figure out how to get out of India.
29 posted on 06/18/2007 7:13:05 AM PDT by Ditter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: cripplecreek

They hate John Bolton because he was actually acting in the USA’s interest when going to the UN - not the other way around, as they would prefer.


30 posted on 06/18/2007 7:16:18 AM PDT by MrB (You can't reason people out of a position that they didn't use reason to get into in the first place)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: IrishMike

http://www.un.org/sg/


31 posted on 06/18/2007 7:19:06 AM PDT by Inquisitive1 (I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance - Socrates)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Inquisitive1

Here is another off the wall remark
.
.
.
Climate change behind Darfur killing: UN’s Ban
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=070616212708.ymevxrx6&show_article=1&catnum=0

UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said that the slaughter in Darfur was triggered by global climate change and that more such conflicts may be on the horizon, in an article published Saturday.
“The Darfur conflict began as an ecological crisis, arising at least in part from climate change,” Ban said in a Washington Post opinion column.

UN statistics showed that rainfall declined some 40 percent over the past two decades, he said, as a rise in Indian Ocean temperatures disrupted monsoons.

“This suggests that the drying of sub-Saharan Africa derives, to some degree, from man-made global warming,” the South Korean diplomat wrote.

“It is no accident that the violence in Darfur erupted during the drought,” Ban said in the Washington daily.

When Darfur’s land was rich, he said, black farmers welcomed Arab herders and shared their water, he said.

With the drought, however, farmers fenced in their land to prevent overgrazing.


32 posted on 06/18/2007 9:34:02 AM PDT by IrishMike ( What happens when aliens breed with sheep ? - Democrats)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: Inquisitive1

In an exclusive Sun interview, Mr Gore said: “The G8 have been meeting in Germany and the United States is throwing a monkey wrench in the efforts to get a consensus.

The planet is in distress and all of the attention is on Paris Hilton. We have to ask ourselves what is going on here?”

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2007280084,00.html


33 posted on 06/18/2007 9:37:11 AM PDT by IrishMike ( What happens when aliens breed with sheep ? - Democrats)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-33 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson