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Father Waylays Daughter's Lover
Manchester Union Leader ^ | September 22, 2007 | Greta Cuyler

Posted on 09/22/2007 6:21:10 AM PDT by Jim Noble

WEARE – A father attacked his daughter's boyfriend last week after learning the boy had sex with the underage girl, police said.

It was about 1:30 p.m. Monday, Sept. 10, when the man stormed onto the grounds of John J. Stark High School and beat up the 17-year-old from Henniker. School was just letting out, and many students witnessed the attack, said Detective Lou Chatel.

The boy suffered bruising and later received two stitches to his face.

The father was charged with simple assault, a Class B felony.

Police said the boy is dating the man's 15-year-old daughter.

The man discovered the two had had sex earlier that day, during school hours but not on school property, police said.

Under state law, a 15-year-old cannot consent to sex; therefore, police are investigating the allegation as a sexual assault.

The New Hampshire Union Leader has a policy of not identifying sexual assault victims. For that reason, the newspaper is not identifying the father.

Both students attend John Stark High School. The girl lives in Weare.

Chatel said there have been no arrests in the sex case, but he expects there will be.


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: assault; attaboy; fatherhood; gogethim; waytobedad
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To: humantech
What are your thoughts on what should have been done in this situation? Its pretty obvious that you dont agree with the father or myself.

Very good question.

  1. Sit down and get control of my anger. Actions while angry are typically imprudent. The father in the article is a case-in-point.
  2. Talk things over with my wife before doing anything else. Experience has taught me that we make many fewer mistakes when we both agree on a course of action.
  3. Sit down and have a long talk with my daughter. Point out the long term bad consequences to her of imprudent choices in this area. Point out that trust is initially given by a parent to a child, and when lost must be re-earned by a long-term consistent track record of behavior. I would then ground her for a pre-determined amount of time, limit the friends with whom she could associate to a pre-screened list with an option to add to it by discussion, and lock down the cell phone and computer. I would call the school weekly to check on her class-by-class attendance, and if there were unexplained discrepancies I would tighten the supervision, perhaps changing schools. Oh, and by the way, she would have to show long-term prudent behavior before ever getting a driving permit or going out with friends unaccompanied by an adult parent I knew and trusted. Note the theme: prudent behavior is the key to privileges. BTW - my parents did something like this to my brother when they caught him skipping school after the first warning.
  4. And by the way, this boyfriend is history, as long as I am responsible for her support and behavior.

My son and daughter and their friends did not 'pair off' in high school. They tended to do things in big, mixed groups. They had a lot of fun without the dangers of falling prey to hormonal urges. Most did not date until well into college, and then tended to stick to larger mixed groups until marriage was in the picture.

221 posted on 09/22/2007 10:38:16 AM PDT by RochesterFan
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To: humantech

“I appreciate the wikipedia lookup.”

No clue what that means.

I’ve already provided a short answer. Also, teach your girls to have nothing to do with boys who can’t behave appropriately, and who don’t have their emotions under control. All teen boys aren’t hormone driven robots with no self-control. Some do know how to respect girls and not try to push beyond what a girl considers appropriate. Others don’t know how to do that, and girls should not date guys who can’t control their emotions, temper or desires. And they should tolerate NO instance of any guy trying to use his greater size and strength to get his was.

What they might do consensually, that’s another subject.


222 posted on 09/22/2007 10:40:11 AM PDT by Will88
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To: daviscupper
But the girl has the choice; the girl always has the choice. The word for when it's the guy's choice is "rape".

With the choice comes the responsibility, ya know.

223 posted on 09/22/2007 10:41:17 AM PDT by William Terrell (Individuals can exist without government but government can't exist without individuals.)
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To: humantech

“I take it then you believe that most aspects of parenting should be dealt with by the law, and if they arent now, we need to “ evolve the constitution” and our legal system to deal with things not yet covered?”

I’ve said nothing remotely like that, and my whole string of posts in this thread has advocated that teens who are close in age should be equally responsible for their own decisions, and not be governed by age of consent laws.


224 posted on 09/22/2007 10:44:44 AM PDT by Will88
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To: Chanticleer

Incitement to violence is also illegal...

Thats what the punk did so the Dad should walk..

W


225 posted on 09/22/2007 10:59:33 AM PDT by WLR (Secure our Schools with Armed Staff on Campus. Build the Fence, Nuke Iran)
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To: William Terrell

What ever happened to simply walking over to the girl’s house and meeting her parents? And she could meet the guy’s parents. When the parents meet each other, the guy and girl can have sneaky little white lies together.


226 posted on 09/22/2007 11:00:50 AM PDT by BobS (I><P>)
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To: William Terrell
But the girl has the choice; the girl always has the choice. The word for when it's the guy's choice is "rape".

With the choice comes the responsibility, ya know.

No argument with what you write here. Just take issue with the notion that her life is ruined. She made a very bad choice and she will suffer consequences for her mistake. But ruined for life is a little drastic. She can redeem herself.

Incidentally, I like the way you do not mix words when describing the actions of a boy's choice. Harsh but true.

227 posted on 09/22/2007 11:05:28 AM PDT by daviscupper
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To: RochesterFan

sounds like good advice ..kudos to you


228 posted on 09/22/2007 11:10:19 AM PDT by donnab
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To: Will88
Age of consent laws (apparently sixteen in NH) that make it statutory rape between two high school students only two years apart in age are ridiculous.

Agreed.
229 posted on 09/22/2007 11:11:41 AM PDT by mysterio
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To: daviscupper

“No argument with what you write here. Just take issue with the notion that her life is ruined. She made a very bad choice and she will suffer consequences for her mistake. But ruined for life is a little drastic. She can redeem herself.”

There’s so much we don’t know. They might be a serious couple. This boy might be the love of her life who she plans to and will later marry. They might have been sexually active for months or a year or more, or she might be the town slut and the boy just wanted his turn for the first time. He might be the schools most ‘successful’ young stud. Or neither might have ever had sex with anyone else.

But I knew couples sexually active in their mid teens, the same age and different age, who later married, had several fine children and are still apparently happily married decades later.

The most traumatic event of her life might be that her dad barged into her dream relationship and created this chaos, and has put her boyfriend in danger of prison.

So much we don’t know.


230 posted on 09/22/2007 11:23:49 AM PDT by Will88
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To: Will88
such differences would probably be declared unconstitutional when it comes to consensual sex unless a pregnancy results

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

231 posted on 09/22/2007 11:24:38 AM PDT by Jim Noble (Trails of troubles, roads of battle, paths of victory we shall walk.)
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To: Will88

Very well said.


232 posted on 09/22/2007 11:26:18 AM PDT by daviscupper
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To: oldenuff2no
I think some folks need to find some morals and some gonads.

The real division in this thread--and on this forum, for that matter--is between those who think morals matter and those who figure that sexual desires of whatever type need to satisfied ASAP.

233 posted on 09/22/2007 11:33:57 AM PDT by madprof98 ("moritur et ridet" - salvianus)
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To: Will88
I would never try to have a seventeen year-old charged with statutory rape if I knew the sex had been consensual.

Agree entirely. I understand the dad's reaction, but I remember being a kid as well. Once upon a time the "authorities" might have said that this matter was best left as is, but now they will have to pursue charges against both the kid and the dad. I don't see how sending either of them to jail will help matters at all.

234 posted on 09/22/2007 11:34:18 AM PDT by 91B (God made man, Sam Colt made men equal)
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To: madprof98

“The real division in this thread—and on this forum, for that matter—is between those who think morals matter and those who figure that sexual desires of whatever type need to satisfied ASAP.”

I’d say the real division concerns what moral standards (and whose) should be enforced by law, and which should be left to the freely made decisions of the individuals involved.


235 posted on 09/22/2007 11:39:01 AM PDT by Will88
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Comment #236 Removed by Moderator

To: Will88; madprof98
“The real division in this thread—and on this forum, for that matter—is between those who think morals matter and those who figure that sexual desires of whatever type need to satisfied ASAP.”

I’d say the real division concerns what moral standards (and whose) should be enforced by law, and which should be left to the freely made decisions of the individuals involved.

In addition, there's a divide between those who think the law should be enforced uniformly v. those who believe exceptions should be made when (in their opinion) vigilante justice is appropriate.

237 posted on 09/22/2007 11:51:31 AM PDT by NittanyLion
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To: RochesterFan

Well said, sir. Your children are blessed, too.


238 posted on 09/22/2007 11:56:20 AM PDT by Chanticleer (I want God, I want Poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness, I want sin.)
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To: mysterio

Age of consent laws (apparently sixteen in NH) that make it statutory rape between two high school students only two years apart in age are ridiculous.

Not at all..

To begin with age of consent laws that do not coincide with age of Majority Laws are horrible laws..

Such laws are self serving as Elected Officials, Prosecutors, Teachers and their friends legally use their money and positions to have sex with as many young girls (boys?) as they can talk out of their pants. (tell me the law doesn’t allow that)

Yet the Parents are still liable for the consequences of these actions.. The child’s education, health care and psychological well being.

The laws need to be amended to raise the age of consent to coincide with the age of majority..

Not further diluted and weakened.

W


239 posted on 09/22/2007 11:59:50 AM PDT by WLR (Secure our Schools with Armed Staff on Campus. Build the Fence, Nuke Iran)
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To: NittanyLion

“In addition, there’s a divide between those who think the law should be enforced uniformly v. those who believe exceptions should be made when (in their opinion) vigilante justice is appropriate.”

Yep. Webster’s broad definition of a vigilante: “a self-appointed doer of justice.”

That’s exactly what this father was doing, dispensing his version of justice to the boy who had consensual sex with his daughter.

I asked before, do we all get to pick an area where we think our idea of justice is better than the law, then go out and dispense justice?


240 posted on 09/22/2007 12:03:01 PM PDT by Will88
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