Backhoe has lost his best friend and wife of 26 years. (Sad News #454: backhoe has passed away)

Free Dominion and Free Republic ^ | June 17, 2010 | fanfan

[fanfan]

Our Dear Backhoe, lost his wife, Miss. Emily suddenly early Monday morning.

The Source URL will take you to the thread he posted on FRee Dominion (Our sister site in Canada), and this link takes you to his announcement here on FR.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/833678/posts?page=12455#12455

Most of you know that Backhoe maintains the thread "DUBOB 11- more tales from the Dark UnderBelly Of the Beast...", and since his post was made there, very few have seen it.

Our good FRiend could really use our support, so please post all replies to Backhoe.

He is busy with funeral arrangements, so may not post much, or at all, but he will read it, and appreciate the love and support.

Thank you, fanfan.

[Joya]

You said, ‘I told her, long ago, in reference to something my poor old head has forgotten,

‘“Your Dead are always with you...”

‘And they are- you carry them in your Heart of Hearts, where your secret soul- the very essence of You, that only Giver of Life and a few, rare people know about— resides.

‘Like a faraway Star, they live on as a pinpoint of light. You can see them, still, but no matter how much you crank up the magnification, they remain just a point of light.

‘Oh! So! Far away... visible, but forever distant.’

= = =

http://preview.tinyurl.com/2agomae

= = =
Very well put.

That’s a reality in my life, too.

Good job, backhoe.

[backhoe]

“That’s a reality in my life, too.

Good job, backhoe.”

I wrote this after I lost the first one, but I think it applies to both ( from memory, I may have written it a little differently elsewhere )

My lady smiles at me
far across infinity
from another time
another place
so far
Oh! so very far away

And in my dreams
I see her still
tall and proud
I always will
alight with love
she gave it well
alight with life
she lived it well
her song was full
and tho it’s stilled
I loved her well
I always will

[Joya]

Soooo beautiful and soooo true.

You are quite a writer. And a poet.

Thanks.

[backhoe]

Soooo beautiful and soooo true. You are quite a writer. And a poet. Thanks.

Thank you... I appreciated that.

[fanfan]

You holding up?

*hug*

[backhoe]

“You holding up?”

I’m still standing, and I thank you for asking— I haven’t checked in here, in a while.

Me and The Kids- her two dogs— continue the saga here:

http://www.freedominion.com.pa/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=132803
“Letters to Miss Emily...”

And I keep finding more of her “stuff” to post at the original:
http://www.freedominion.com.pa/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=132035
“Miss Emily has died”

Never thought I’d outlive two wives.

[Joya]

Hey there. I’ll have to read your latest on FD, when I get some time ...

[tacticalogic]

Hang in there, buddy. We're here for you.

I think everybody grieves in their own way and in their own time, and sometimes it takes a while to find it.

[backhoe]

Hey there. I’ll have to read your latest on FD, when I get some time ...

"Miss Emily has died" is stretching out into 40+ pages, now, it is mostly things she wrote that I keep finding.

"Letters to Miss Emily" continues the adventures of me and "the Kids"- her two dogs...

♪♪ "...and I straighten
Miss Emily's picture
on the wall..." ♪♪

[backhoe]

Hang in there, buddy. We're here for you. I think everybody grieves in their own way and in their own time, and sometimes it takes a while to find it.

I thank you- it's a strange, long journey I find myself on, without my best pal to brace me against the world.

[okie01]

I thank you- it's a strange, long journey I find myself on, without my best pal to brace me against the world.

She's still with you. And will be forever.

[backhoe]

I carry her in my heart, until it beats its last.

[little jeremiah]

Backhoe, I’ve been thinking about you. Glad to see this thread - well, glad because I can tell you that my heart is sore for your loss and I’ll offer another prayer for you both.

[okie01]

I carry her in my heart, until it beats its last.

I understand.

And you are in hers. Forever.

[backhoe]

I appreciate that, old FRiend- I can use all the prayers being sent my way.

[little jeremiah]

Very Big Hug from me to you (you may remember I am a mrs.)

You are often in my thoughts.

[backhoe]

Very Big Hug from me to you (you may remember I am a mrs.) You are often in my thoughts.

Thank you- slap your hub on the butt, in memory
of Miss Emily.

I did a lot wrong, and I did a lot right, in those 25 years that flew by all too fast... but at least, on that night she died, while she was cutting up that watermelon she would never live to eat, I patted her fanny as I walked by in the kitchen...

You can't do that enough.

[backhoe]

-"Letters to Miss Emily..."--

Hairs...

It's a small thing in The Great Scheme...

...but I am still plucking Miss Emily's grey, slightly crinkled ( from perms ) hairs off of me...

In the car, in the bed.

On my hands and feet and sleeves. Despite all the vacuuming and dusting and cleaning and beating I've done...

I have errant thoughts- “I could clone her, from the DNA in this...”

But, of course, besides the time ( Flowin' like a river, beckoning me...” ) it would take to grow “her” to adulthood- by then, I'd be dead-- and, she would not have Emily's memories, but her own.

Gone.

Forever.

---

I just saw this:

http://maggiesfarm.anotherdotcom.com/archives/16219-WHAT-IS-ALPHA.html#comments

WHAT IS ALPHA?


The Alpha course was developed in response to people who wanted to have the opportunity to investigate the claims of the Christian faith. 

Over ten weekly sessions, including a day or weekend away, guests hear the claims of the Christian faith. After the presentation, course attendees have a chance to question what they heard and discuss the validity of the claims. The support of all the major Christian denominations has enabled the Alpha course to spread rapidly around the world. Today, Alpha is run in over 160 countries and has been translated into more than 100 languages. Courses can also be found in many contexts including churches, homes, workplaces, military bases, colleges, schools, and prisons. 

There are many reasons why people enjoy attending the Alpha course. For some it’s the no pressure, non-judgmental atmosphere, others enjoy building relationships with new friends, while others appreciate the chance to discuss deep questions of life that they don’t otherwise get the chance to ask.

WHAT HAPPENS AT ALPHA?


Each Alpha course begins with a meal or refreshments providing a chance to relax and get to know others. There is then a short talk, which looks at a different aspect of the Christian faith each week. This is followed by a time of discussion in small groups of about 10 people. Everyone is welcome to contribute their opinion, ask questions and discuss with the rest of the group.

Alpha courses run in a wide variety of locations and at different times of the day. Courses vary in size, from one small group meeting in a home, to hundreds of people in a larger venue. Some courses are held over morning coffee or during a lunch hour, though most are evening courses, typically lasting 2 hours. Whatever the course size, people tend to remain in the same small groups for the duration of the course so they can get to know each other, continue discussions and deepen friendships.

The whole course usually lasts for 10 weeks, with a day or weekend away about half way through. The emphasis is upon exploration and discovery in a relaxed and informal environment.

The Alpha course consists of a series of talks addressing key issues related to the Christian faith.

TOPICS


Week 1: Who is Jesus?
Week 2: Why did Jesus die?
Week 3: How can we have faith?
Week 4: Why and how do I pray?
Week 5: Why and how should I read the Bible?
Week 6 Full Day: Who is the Holy Spirit? What does the Holy Spirit do? How can I be filled with the Holy Spirit?How can I make the most of the rest of my life?
Week 7: How does God guide us?
Week 8: How can I resist evil?
Week 9: Why & how should we tell others?
Week 10: Does God heal today?

The course curriculum is the book Questions of Life by Nicky Gumbel. Each talk reflects one of the chapters from this book.

Please note: There is no obligation to attend all ten sessions.

WHAT THE PRESS SAYS

The New York Times
"A novel approach to Christian education that has been catching on nationwide."

Madeleine Bunting, The Guardian 
"What Alpha offers, and what is attracting thousands of people, is permission, rare in secular culture, to discuss the big questions - life and death and their meaning.“

The Express London
" Alpha makes Christianity relevant to modern life."

Los Angeles Times
“Alpha helps people navigate through Christianity.”

WHAT PAST GUESTS SAY

Anthony: "I didn’t expect the warm welcome I received, the interesting discussions or the lack of pressure to speak in the small groups that followed. I found that I could express any doubts about Christianity, and that my opinions would be respected. If I had an issue with something, I had a forum to voice it with no need to apologize."

Rebecca: “Our church was offering this course and my husband and I thought it would be a great opportunity for us to share in this spiritual journey. We go to church with our two kids, say our prayers, etc. but something was missing. We wanted to find out what was missing.”

Cynthia: I decided to take the Alpha course because I was unsure what it was I believed. I needed something to fill the empty place in my life. I started attending Alpha to seek answers to those basic questions about my faith and who God was.”



Heather: “I was the typical 20 something who had attended church as a child, but once I became an adult I stopped going. When I returned to church I felt like something was missing in my life. The Alpha course helped me understand more about God.
Posted by Bird Dog in Religion at 11:40 | Comments (12)

---

It sounds like something the “we” that can never be, again, would have been interested in attending.

That Cursillo we attended- #56? #57?-- back circa 1986 was OK, but IMO separating husbands and wives was a major flaw- how were you supposed to grow, together?

We were a team.

The team is no more.

Time to rise, on hurting feet...

Turn on the water heater for a shower and shave...

And start another day...

“By the Shores

of Babylon

We wept for Thee,

Oh! Zion...”



♪♪ "...and I straighten
Miss Emily's picture
on the wall..." ♪♪

-30-

[backhoe]

http://www.freedominion.com.pa/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=1622954#1622954

I can’t quite lay a finger on it, but some time in the last month or so, I quit shedding tears for my Dead Miss Emily.

I have no doubt that more tears for her will flow in the future- Hell’s Eternal Fire, I still have a few for my Dead Miss Helen, she, gone almost 30 years, my Bunny, my Mate, my business Partner, my Life, my very Other, Female Self— and yet, I have to move on.

You can’t love the chair she sat in, or her car, or her place in the bed— she ( both shes ) is gone, to wherever good people go— whether it’s the oblivion of a snuffed-out candle, or dancing among the stars, I cannot say— and neither can all the preacher-men and Priests and Rabbis and Shamans, for all their learning.

Like I say, “We’ll find out when we get there...”

[OwenKellogg]

It’s good to see you, Backhoe.