Jordan: Are you peeing?Mitch: Uh, I can't start.
Jordan: Because I'm here?
Mitch: I think so.
Jordan: Weird. Well I have to go.
Mitch: Me too.
I have a friend who called this particular condition "stage fright."
To those with “bashful bladder syndrome”: three words:
Get over it.
There. Just saved billions.
Aww, go pee up a rope!
What the ******?
ADA was supposed to be about REAL disabilities.
How the heck does a “bashful bladder” become a protected “disability”.
Are we sure this isn’t satire?
Who ever makes these rules is disabled, mentally.
Reason # 14132 for a company to NOT build its new facility in the once United States of America.
The hoofbeats you are NOT the enemy cavalry, it is the pounding feet of the Government Compliance Inspectors, so better try China as a new location.
Off-topic, but... is that a *girl* in the photo — standing? The one in the blue shirt.
Disturbing.
WASHINGTON, DC—On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans.
The act, signed into law by President Obama shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real skills or uses.
“Roughly 50 percent of Americans—through no fault of their own—do not possess the talent necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said Obama, a longtime ANA supporter. “Their lives are futile hamster-wheel existences of unrewarding, dead-end busywork: xeroxing documents written by others, fulfilling mail-in rebates for Black & Decker toaster ovens, and processing bureaucratic forms that nobody will ever see. Sadly, for these millions of nonabled Americans, the American dream of working hard and moving up through the ranks is simply not a reality.”
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million important-sounding “middle man” positions will be created in the white-collar sector for nonabled persons, providing them with an illusory sense of purpose and ability. Mandatory, non-performance-based raises and promotions will also be offered to create a sense of upward mobility for even the most unremarkable, utterly replaceable employees.
The legislation also provides corporations with incentives to hire nonabled workers, including tax breaks for those who hire one non-germane worker for every two talented hirees.
Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act also contains tough new measures to prevent discrimination against the nonabled by banning prospective employers from asking such job-interview questions as, “What can you bring to this organization?” and “Do you have any special skills that would make you an asset to this company?”
“As a nonabled person, I frequently find myself unable to keep up with co-workers who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as an unessential filing clerk at a Minneapolis tile wholesaler last month because of her lack of notable skills. “This new law should really help people like me.”
With the passage of the Americans With No Abilities Act, Gertz and millions of other untalented, inessential citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Obama: “It is our duty, both as lawmakers and as human beings, to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her lack of value to society, some sort of space to take up in this great nation.”
Shamelessly stolen from the Internet somewhere
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Jordan: Are you peeing?The other night I saw an old King of The Hill episode about this very thing. Employees at Strickland Propane all claiming weird disabilities so they could slack off. Hank fixed this by quitting and dropping them under 15 employees, so the law no longer applied to them.
When cartoons make more sense than public policy we’re in a heap of trouble.
Another reason to export more jobs abroad.
Every bathroom I’ve ever been in (in N.America) has had a toilet stall. Go in there and close the door. “Problem” solved.
This stuff is really starting to piss me off.
Who better than Congress and the Federal government to find new and innovative ways of pissing away our money?
A whole bunch of DC law firms made sure that “little” provision was in there...
Everyone has a disability...I know because I can never find a handicap parking space to load and unload my son that uses a power chair.
????
What about just using the sit down closed-in stall toilets?
I believe you have to get a written documentation from a doctor for the AWDA to apply, how is this diagnosed?
Think about it, not being able to stick your hand out the window and flip off other drivers, as they flip you off with impunity.
This is so stupid. It’s something EVERY guy has to some extent or another. It’s an issue of state of mind, circumstances etc. If you were to make a guy stand in the middle of a room while twenty people leaned forward to watch, 95% would shut down altogether. Ask the nurses who are supposed to collect urine for drug tests.
What’s next? ADA protection for people who oversleep in the mornings?