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Safest College Campus in America(barf alert/S)
sancarlos.patch.com ^ | 25 September, 2012 | Vincent Ware

Posted on 09/26/2012 12:11:35 PM PDT by marktwain

Rocky Mountain State University at Durango is the safest college campus in America, according to pro-gun group Students for Concealed Carry.

Rocky Mountain State University at Durango has embraced this endorsement and is busy getting the word out about how safe students are on its campus.

“We are proud to be recognized by an organization that knows how important guns are in keeping students safe on college campuses,” said Parsons Wyatt, the Dean of Admissions at Rocky Mountain State University at Durango.

The school is so proud of being ranked as the safest college in America that the new glossy brochure it is sending out to high school students nationwide proclaim they have 119 student organizations dedicated to safe gun ownership and every new student gets a dozen free boxes of ammo when they move into their dorm.

The university has 97 bachelor’s degree programs. But, of course, this isn’t something they are as proud of anymore. In fact, their nationally ranked undergraduate programs have taken a back seat to safety as the best reason to study at the school.

As colleges and universities from around the country try to sell high school students on the virtues of attending their schools, one can’t help but wonder if being able to legally carry a gun on campus is a strong enough selling point?

According to Wyatt, allowing students to have guns on campus is such a big draw that the student body, which used to consist mainly of students from across the state, is now comprised of students from every state except Alaska.

During a phone interview, Mr. Wyatt spoke enthusiastically about the influx of gun-carrying students from outside the state of Colorado.

“The number of applications we received for the 2012-13 year was at an all-time high and our enrollment has increased by 17 percent,” Wyatt said.

Feeling safe is not the same thing as being safe, Students for Concealed Carry argue on their website. It is a sentiment that Mr. Wyatt fully agrees with.

“Students come to RMSU because they are safe,” Mr. Wyatt said. “Notice I said they come here and are safe. You can feel safe on any college campus, but here students know they are safe. Plus we have 33 gun ranges on campus to keep their shooting accurate.”

While many people might assume that the only danger awaiting college students are their fellow students drunk or hopped up on PCP and Viagra, the administration at RMSU knows that threats in Durango can and do come from wildlife predators such as bears.

Sitting on 560 acres with spectacular views of some of Colorado’s 14,000 foot peaks, the campus is no stranger to wildlife wandering onto campus.

“A bear is a wild animal and can’t be reasoned with or stopped by a book bag,” Wyatt said. “But a student who knows how to handle a handgun properly can put that bear down with little problem.”

For those parents who are afraid that this campus has the power to change their students into war-mongering gun enthusiasts, Wyatt said they need not worry.

“We don’t require students to have guns, but most know that being without a gun means not being able to defend yourself,” Wyatt said. “I like to think our students are bright enough to realize that only a gun can keep them safe.”

Wyatt said most colleges are hotbeds of violent crimes, where everything from assaults to abductions take place all the time. “But not on our campus,” Wyatt said. “Here the good guys always win.”

Of course, not everyone at Rocky Mountain State University at Durango is happy with the current gun situation. “This place would be safe without everyone carrying a gun,” said Paige Berry, who is president of a student organization (Keep Weapons off Our Campus) that opposes guns on the RMSU campus.

Wyatt characterized students such as Ms. Berry as out of the norm. Wyatt said students like Berry seem like they want to extend an invitation to criminals everywhere to come hurt good people.

“Our drama program is nationally ranked and so it draws all these peaceniks from Blue States,” Wyatt said. “If left up to them, this campus would be as dangerous as thousands of others across the country. Thank God most students here have common sense.”


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons; US: Colorado
KEYWORDS: banglist; co; college; satire
In the current political climate, satire can be difficult to distinguish from reality, particularly from the left. No doubt this was considered to be so outrageous as to be instantly recognizable as satire. However, reality blends well enough with the satire, that it is easy to believe that a school where 9 of 10 students carry guns would be the safest school in the nation. The reality is close. Vermont, with no restrictions on non-felon adults carrying concealed weapons, has the second lowest murder rate in the nation, while New Hampshire, with nearly as relaxed weapons laws, has the lowest.

When I sent my daughter off to college, I looked for a single one that allowed her to carry self defese weapons. I could not find one. Now, at least, those that choose to take responsibility for their own safety have a few options.

1 posted on 09/26/2012 12:11:46 PM PDT by marktwain
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To: marktwain

Probably not so funny at Virginia Tech.


2 posted on 09/26/2012 12:22:59 PM PDT by Old North State
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To: marktwain
Looks like "Patch" is being disingenuous according to their "about" statement.

I need to investigate, bookmarked for later comment.

3 posted on 09/26/2012 12:30:53 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it, and the Constitution and law mean what WE say.)
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To: marktwain

defese should be defense


4 posted on 09/26/2012 12:33:22 PM PDT by marktwain
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To: Navy Patriot; All

I sent an email to Vincent Ware, thanking him for the article and the good it would do to encourage the political wave toward allowing concealed carry on campus by students. ;-)


5 posted on 09/26/2012 12:35:47 PM PDT by marktwain
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To: Old North State
Probably not so funny at Virginia Tech.

***************

GA. TECH (ATLANTA)....
...NEEDS to authorize CCW on campus...

High crime rates: muggings, carjacks, and personal crimes (assault, robbery & rape)

6 posted on 09/26/2012 12:59:27 PM PDT by Wings-n-Wind (The main things are the plain things!)
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To: marktwain

The whiny little bitches that compose about half the population of this country these days would be surprised to know that when I attended college in the late 70s/early 80s there were no restriction against firearms in the dorm rooms. During an inspection once I got fined 15 dollars for having an empty beer can in my dorm, but nothing was said about the shotgun leaning against the wall next to the bed.

I had a Ruger Super Blackhawk .44 magnum pistol that I used for deer hunting, a Remington 12 gauge shotgun, and a Parker-Hale .270 WinMag, all in the closet in my dorm at various times depending on the season. Most of the guys had similar collections.

No one died. No one was shot. No one was even threatened.

It’s not the guns that cause problems. It’s the valueless, amoral, self-absorbed whiny little shits being raised by leftists that are the problem.


7 posted on 09/26/2012 2:22:15 PM PDT by spodefly (This is my tag line. There are many like it, but this one is mine.)
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To: spodefly
It’s not the guns that cause problems. It’s the valueless, amoral, self-absorbed whiny little shits being raised by leftists that are the problem.

Amen

8 posted on 09/27/2012 7:05:13 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it, and the Constitution and law mean what WE say.)
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