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Becoming Illegal; Letter to Tom Harkin

Posted on 05/02/2013 4:15:38 PM PDT by beckett

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510

Dear Sen. Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of the bill is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2008 and 2009.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school application, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me, given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively, if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status rather than remain just a bonafide citizen of the U.S.A.)
(name redacted)
Burlington, IA


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Government; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: immigration; vanity
I am not the author (so I didn't feel comfortable posting the author's name as it appears on the copy I received), but it's my understanding that this letter was sent as written by an Iowan resident to Sen. Tom Harkin.
1 posted on 05/02/2013 4:15:38 PM PDT by beckett
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To: beckett

Of course, if it gets a response, it will be a canned one thanking said citizen for supporting Harkin on making criminal illegal invaders “citizens.”


2 posted on 05/02/2013 4:19:53 PM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (Resist We Much)
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To: beckett

It’s amusing... and a good illustration that you can say some hard things with humor.


3 posted on 05/02/2013 4:20:29 PM PDT by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: beckett

I’d like to see the response...


4 posted on 05/02/2013 4:20:43 PM PDT by Little Ray (How did I end up in this hand-basket, and why is it getting so hot?)
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To: beckett

Sounds like Iowahawk to me.


5 posted on 05/02/2013 4:21:16 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (I'll raise $2million for Sarah Palin's presidential run. What'll you do?)
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To: beckett

It would be easy to do I think. One can renounce his citizenship... Would that not make him illegal?


6 posted on 05/02/2013 4:45:19 PM PDT by babygene ( .)
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To: beckett
There's GOT to be more benefits illegals are entitled to such as welfare and food stamps. It might even be advantageous to quit one's job after the benefits are tallied up. Illegal alien status also gives one permission to be totally inconsiderate; Annoying one's neighbors by talking really loud and when at the store, pushing your way to the front of the line without any regard to the fact there is one.

If you're young enough to have more children, thus more benefits.. Have at it!

7 posted on 05/02/2013 4:50:53 PM PDT by GeorgeWashingtonsGhost
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FR is funded solely by the freedom loving folks who love and use it.
Stand with Free Republic.

8 posted on 05/02/2013 5:09:35 PM PDT by RedMDer (May we always be happy and may our enemies always know it. - Sarah Palin, 10-18-2010)
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To: GeorgeWashingtonsGhost

I love this article and am going to send it to my elected officials and ask for a reply.


9 posted on 05/02/2013 5:54:30 PM PDT by learner
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To: learner

I’m sending this out to all my email friends - hope it goes viral.


10 posted on 05/02/2013 6:18:27 PM PDT by Liberty Wins
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To: beckett

He could go to a foreign country, renounce his citizenship at the US embassy, and then re-enter as an illegal. But, from what I understand, the US will not accept a renouncement unless you have a resident alien status.


11 posted on 05/02/2013 6:48:54 PM PDT by grumpygresh (Democrats delenda est.)
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To: learner

Send it to Marco Rubio!


12 posted on 05/02/2013 7:23:32 PM PDT by P-Marlowe (There can be no Victory without a fight and no battle without wounds.)
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