Posted on 09/07/2014 9:00:02 AM PDT by Kaslin
Good morning. This is your captain. We'll be cruising today at an altitude of 30,000 feet, and we expect to arrive at our destination on time. Then we'll spend 45 minutes on the tarmac waiting for a gate to open up, because apparently, the airport folks had no idea we were coming.
Our flight crew will be coming through the cabin shortly to offer you a choice of lukewarm beverages along with a tiny chemical-infused snack that wouldn't sustain a gerbil through a cold night. You're welcome to take a nap, if you can sleep through me coming on the intercom to inform you of things you couldn't care less about.
And if there's anything we can do to make your flight more pleasant, please let us know so we can figure out if there's a way to charge you for it.
But I want to make a special announcement today. My last flight got diverted because a couple of knuckleheads started screaming and throwing things at each other. Turns out one of them wanted to recline a seat and the other took offense. I really hate detours. So let me tell you how it's going to be.
You all bought a ticket for a seat that reclines, which means if you want to recline, you're entitled to do it. I'm not saying you should. Just because you're free to spend the entire flight sobbing to your seatmates about your breakup or berating them with your opinion of Barack Obama doesn't mean it's a considerate thing to do. Just because you are allowed to scratch and belch en route doesn't mean your mother would approve.
But if we wanted to prevent our passengers from reclining, we would install seats that don't recline. So if the person in front of you leans back, you have several options. You can politely ask if he or she would mind not reclining, or at least not reclining quite so far. You can buy him or her a drink as an incentive.
You can pull out a twenty-dollar bill and pay an old-fashioned cash bribe. Heck, I don't care if you offer sexual favors, as long as they don't happen on board. If nothing else works, you can weep and beg.
What you can't do is use a "Knee Defender" to block the seat from reclining. You can't push against the seat until the other person returns the seat to its upright position. You can't scream and swear and throw things. If you do, we'll land at the nearest airport and let the cops put you in a seat you'll find even less comfy.
If our policy offends you, let me make some suggestions. Next time, buy a seat that has extra legroom. Or upgrade to first class. Or patronize one of the airlines whose seats don't budge.
Or just forget flying. I hear Amtrak cars have more room than airline cabins. You could get in your car and drive. You could stay home.
But if being stuck with a reclining seat in your face bothers you so much, let me bring out the world's smallest violin to play a microscopic sad song. Your ancestors probably came across the ocean in steerage, crammed into dim spaces with smelly strangers for weeks at a time, fighting off rats and scurvy.
Or they may have come in slave ships against their will, where they had a truly excellent chance of dying. They may have crossed the continent in a bone-jarring covered wagon eating buffalo jerky three meals a day.
_And you? You have to endure modestly cramped quarters for a few hours to be transported vast distances they would have needed weeks or months to cover. Boo friggin' hoo.
Face it, people: You've made it clear you want a low price more than you want comfort, so this airline has provided it, often losing money in the process. That's why we have to charge for bags and meals that used to cost you nothing. Factor in inflation, and you pay a whole lot less than passengers did back in 1979.
If you were willing to pony up for more space, my employer would be happy to install a La-Z-Boy for every traveler. But you're cheap. You squeeze every nickel till Thomas Jefferson screams. And then you wonder why we pack you in so tight.
So be grateful for the bargain fare. And notice: It's not spelled F-A-I-R.
“probably from someone who doesn’t have the slightest consideration for other people” Well thought out assumption. Put a sock in it.
” If airlines provide a reclining option “
Does your ticket say you are entitled to reclining seats? Didn’t think so.
If you want to annoy me by reclining your seat into my face I can annoy you back; wet, snotty sneezes to the back of your head, playing the drums on your seat top, tap my foot to a nice beat on the back of your seat; I mean, since you provided me with such a great surface to play the drums I’ll be happy to do so.
Everything I need to know about dealing with assholes on an airplane I learned from watching two years olds on airplanes.
Does your ticket say you are entitled to reclining seats? Didn’t think so.
If you want to annoy me by reclining your seat into my face I can annoy you back; wet, snotty sneezes to the back of your head, playing the drums on your seat top, tap my foot to a nice beat on the back of your seat; I mean, since you provided me with such a great surface to play the drums I’ll be happy to do so.
Everything I need to know about dealing with assholes on an airplane I learned from watching two years olds on airplanes.
Totally agree. Common courtesy would at least dictate asking the person behind you if you are reclining too much for their comfort. This “Do it if it feels good” liberalism, especially by those on this site, is disturbing to me.
On one of my recent flights the gentleman in front of me asked how much reclining would be appropriate. He reclined that much and it was fine. That was common courtesy, and I was thankful for his asking.
“You are paying for a seat not space. “
First, that is the most retarded statement ever made on this topic.
Second, if that is the case, that you didn’t pay for your space, then you won’t mind if I just get up and sit in your lap and simply stand in front of you.
Whenever I travel, I do a cost/time comparison between flying and driving.
We just flew down to Louisiana for vacation last month. Other than the cattle car conditions, the plane wasn’t bad.
I don’t recline the seat, ever. Leaning back gives me a panicky feeling. I want the seat as straight up as possible.
How was that statement retarded?
The airlines sell you a seat that reclines, lol. If the airlines did not want anyone to recline they would provide seats that don’t recline.
“Second, if that is the case, that you didn’t pay for your space, then you won’t mind if I just get up and sit in your lap and simply stand in front of you.”
Now this was a retarded hyperbolic response which could be construed as assault. Lobby the airlines to get rid of reclining seats, choose to fly in business, drive/take a boat/train, or pay a fine and get put on the no fly list for being some anti-reclining “bad ass”. Either way the airlines are going to defend “the recliners”.
That’s very interesting. Leaning back gives you a panicky feeling? Only when you are in the air? What about on the ground.
Years ago I read about a woman who got a bad feeling having her head back getting a shampoo when getting her hair cut. it turned out she had a medical problem.
I can’t remember what it was. Maybe a blocked artery. Whatever. If you get it all the time when your head is reclined, it might be good to check it out.
Buy me dinner if it saves your life! LOL
Btw, I hate when people recline but it is what it is which is why I pay more for more space. Flying is not a right ;-) Money talks, seek out airlines where seats hardly recline. Also put pressure on the airlines.
I really believe that Gitmo treats its guests better than the airlines of this once great country treat theirs. Below is the link that you will find interesting since it compares the seating arrangement of the most popular airlines.
Look how they are mistreating you!!!!
http://www.insidesocal.com/aviation/2014/04/07/on-its-777-200s-american-airlines-will-add-one-economy-seat-in-each-row/
Leaning back anywhere makes me panic.
A few years ago, I went on a field exercise that involved rappelling. We learned how to tie the rope and the proper technique to rappel, then went up on the tower. You start a rappel by leaning backwards over a high drop (holding the rope, of course). I was fine until I had to lean over that drop, then I had a full panic attack. I managed to make the rappel only because the instructor went over the edge first and let me lean back on him, then he scooted out of the way and let me complete the descent.
When I reached the bottom of the tower, everyone cheered. I just wanted to go hide somewhere and never come out again.
I do not think there is a physical component to my fear. However, I had a couple of concussions when I was a kid, both times from falling backwards while swinging, when the swing detached from the swing set at the highest point of the arc. I don’t swing anymore, either.
Who will the captain kick off first: a person reclining or a belligerent “bad-ass” causing a disruption because they were too dumb or too poor to buy a business/first class ticket.
Facts are airlines herd you like cattle, create smaller spaces, offer seats that recline, and get the government to punish clients for making ruckuses. Pressure the airlines to reform themselves/lobby your congresscritter or just go business/first class route. Either way you are at the mercy of the recliner because the airlines don't give a flying 'f.
Did you read the original article???? It most certainly does.
I’ve NEVER had a problem before until this thread. Not flying much at all these days but if I do, it will be for a first class/business class ticket. At least then I can have some relief from potential assholes in the seat behind me.
Hey rube, did you read the article about Spirit? Your days are numbered.
Good for Spirit Airlines to offer non-reclining seats. Unfortunately your anger has disrupted your reading comprehension in relation to the POV I was offering.
Now answer my questions unless your anger prompts you to partake in more misplaced name calling.
Wrong. We're paying for all the space any given seat occupies, in any of it's operational configurations.
Most people are courteous, and extend their legs below the seat in front of them (which lowers their knees) so as to not impede the proper reclining of the seat in front of them.
Some people on the other hand expect the world to cater to them and therefore are idiots.
Some people on the other hand expect the world to cater to them and therefore are idiots.
I'm 6'5" and my knees are hard against the upright seat back. When I try to put my legs under the seat like you suggest, my shins hit the seat bottom before they extend at all. Net gains of zero. So I guess that makes me an idiot, huh?
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